Pretend YOU'RE your husband's mother...

[2curlydogs]

To cut the fucking apron strings already.

[NitaX]

Stop drunk dialing.

[OscarQ]

Please teach him proper table manners including how to chew food so that other people don't have to hear it. But since she does the same thing, that would take me going back several generations.

[Deleted]

IDK. My MIL did pretty good with mr man. Sure, he annoys the piss out of me from time to time but not for reasons I can blame on his mama.

[meshaliuknits]

Jun 18, 2012 10:46:53 GMT -5 NitaX said:

Stop drunk dialing.

LOL!

[ringstrue]

I'm to the point now that I think DH let all sorts of things go in one ear and out the other whether the ILs covered them or not, so this is hard for me to say. Going on the assumption that he was actually listening and absorbing, I'd probably go with vacuuming/sweeping or balancing a checkbook.

[statlerwaldorf]

DH is has good cleaning skills. I just wish they would've taught him a little more social skills. Sometimes he has a hard time speaking up for himself especially at work.

[heightsyankee]

Jun 18, 2012 10:47:30 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

IDK. My MIL did pretty good with mr man. Sure, he annoys the piss out of me from time to time but not for reasons I can blame on his mama.

This. I'll never have a super close relationship with my MIL (she doesn't drink or swear and I'll leave it at that) but I really respect her as a mother. She did an awesome job with her son. When he went in to 6th grade, she showed him how to wash, dry and iron all his clothes. He has impeccable manners. Get ready for this: HE WIPES THE RIM OF THE TOILET OFF WITH TP AFTER HE PEES!! I was --> the 1st time I saw that. I hope I can do 1/2 as well with my own boys.

Now, my FIL is another story. I was venting to MIL once about how DH always leave random piles of change everywhere and she was like "Oh, his father does that!" and then I was complaining about how he keeps huge piles of paper/mail/magazines all over the bedroom and she was like "yeah, his father does that." I told her "You'd better stop telling me about FIL because I am starting to get mad at HIM!"

[Deleted]

to sit at the table during a meal (at home, he acts like a normal person in public). he hops up eleven thousand times and starts clearing plates while i'm still chewing. SLOW YOUR ROLL.

now, he's mr. go go go, so perhaps it's just personality. but he's mentioned that they rarely ate together as a family growing up, so i feel like it's related.

ETA: which i guess was probably related to the fact that she worked odd hours when he was a kid. hmmm. anyway, that's about it. my mil was a pretty awesome mom.

[eclaires]

I would tell her that I blame her for always cleaning his room. He doesn't even notice clutter or crap on the floor b/c of it.

She annoys me, but my husband is pretty awesome and I think she was mostly a good parent (if a little cold and critical - but none of those things have shown up in him w/r/t our kids, so whatever).

[ringstrue]

ooh ditto ironing and also sewing on his own buttons. But DH is all thumbs so that might not have happened even with expert-level training.

[Deleted]

Teach him to balance a checkbook and manage his money. I hold his father equally responsible for that one, though.

H's only saving grace was that he came of age before his parents came into a ton of money. So he had high school jobs, was expected to live frugally, etc. Even though he struggled to manage money (still does, to an extent), he didn't have champagne tastes.

There's no hope for his younger sister.

[NitaX]

Jun 18, 2012 10:47:31 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Jun 18, 2012 10:46:53 GMT -5 NitaX said:

Stop drunk dialing.

LOL!

The thing is that this advice isn't about making my H a better person. He has no problems cleaning or helping out. He's a great guy. It's that my MIL is a drunken PITA. She likes to drunk dial my H and whine and complain. She needs to put down the dayum phone, Fo' Real.

[2vermont]

You know, I'm with HAB on this. My husband cooks, cleans, and irons. Actually, he did more than I did before getting married. Although I do all of these things now that I am married too, I suspect he would have more to say to my mother than I would have to say to his....lol.

[laurenpetro]

stop spitting toothpaste all over the fucking sink. and if you drop something, pick it the fuck up.

then again, his whole family has yet to learn that bit.

[druidp]

Seeing as how MIL irks me to no end, and DH has somehow managed to be a normal, sensitive and productive human being in spite of it - I don't think I'd tell her a darn thing.

[msmerymac]

Jun 18, 2012 10:59:35 GMT -5 eclaires said:

She annoys me, but my husband is pretty awesome and I think she was mostly a good parent (if a little cold and critical - but none of those things have shown up in him w/r/t our kids, so whatever).

Yeah, my MIL is the same. Not affectionate, somewhat critical, very stoic. She has her faults, but I think she really loved her children and raised them pretty well. My H is a good person and can take care of himself pretty well.

He does wear stained, ill-fitting clothing a lot, though. And, as a woman, I feel like sometimes it might reflect on me, when in reality, he basically does his own shopping and washing.

[starlily]

To get an education and/or job so that she wouldn't have to mooch off her son.

[eddy]

Jun 18, 2012 11:05:38 GMT -5 2vermont said:

You know, I'm with HAB on this. My husband cooks, cleans, and irons. Actually, he did more than I did before getting married. Although I do all of these things now that I am married too, I suspect he would have more to say to my mother than I would have to say to his....lol.

LOL yes
Actually I should thank his dad more. MIL had an evening job so they boys were used to their dad playing a very active parenting and homemaking role.

[Melissa W.]

Jun 18, 2012 11:05:38 GMT -5 2vermont said:

You know, I'm with HAB on this. My husband cooks, cleans, and irons. Actually, he did more than I did before getting married. Although I do all of these things now that I am married too, I suspect he would have more to say to my mother than I would have to say to his....lol.

1000x this

[iammalcolmx]

Stop leaving his fucking shoes all over the house.

[charminglife]

How to fold towels.

In reality though, she (and his dad) did a great job raising him.

[pixy0stix]

DH is pretty much a good guy. I'd tell her not to marry his asshole stepdad, though.

[meg]

DH is a better housekeeper than I am. Unfortunately I would have to ask MIL: dont marry the asshole OCD guy who is emotionally abusive to your kids. And as for you MIL, protect your kids better, and stop with the beatings with switches/paddles/etc. That is abuse too. Lay off the martyrdom, and the major guilt trips on your son. And treat him as an adult, because he is one.

Ah that felt good!

[cookiemdough]

The importance of communication. But then again none of them are really great at communicating so I guess I should not be surprised.

[Deleted]

I don't know how to answer this, because my BIL and H were raised the same way, but BIL is a neat freak and great with doing housework, and my husband just isn't. I wonder if its a nature versus nurture thing.

ETA: actually, I would tell her not to fight with FIL in front of him and not to drag his 11 year old self into the fights and try to get him to take sides. :@

[twotrue]

Going back in time I'd tell my MIL to allow DW to be a child. I'd also tell her to fucking stand up for her children, to put them first, and to stop being such a selfish and jealous woman.

[IIOY]

I'd tell her not to favor her other son so blatantly and to the detriment of the one who ended up caring for her ass for a decade when she got sick.

[sillygoosegirl]

DH's annoying habits are mostly the same as MIL's annoying habits, so I'd probably have to go back another generation.

[meshaliuknits]

They did good. I like him as he is.

But buying him one stinking Nintendo game so I don't have to hear about how his parents never got him anything he liked would've been awesome. Because I've heard that story twice this month already.