A mother of a 6-year-old boy says her son was slapped by each of his classmates on the orders of their teacher as a form of discipline.
Aiden Neely was accused of being a bully at his school, Salinas Elementary School, near San Antonio, Texas. His kindergarten teacher came up with a creative way to put an end to the alleged bullying. The teacher is accused of having 24 other students in the class line up and slap Neely one-by-one.
"He was hit on the head, in the face, on the back. And all the kids hit him twice," said Amy Neely, the boy's mother. "He had friends in that class, and friends didn't want to hit him, but the teacher instructed them to hit him."
The incident occurred in early May, but Neely was not informed about it until weeks later when the principal called.
"The teacher told him not to tell us," said Neely. "My stomach was in knots. It was horrible."
The Judson Independent School District fired the teacher accused of hatching the most unusual anti-bullying lesson. She has been charged, along with another teacher who allegedly failed to report the incident, with a misdemeanor, according to the chief of the school district's police.
District officials have not identified either teacher.
"We are doing everything we can to make sure that these kinds of incidents don't happen again," said district spokesman Steve Linscomb.
The misdemeanor charge is official oppression. In Texas, it amounts to a public servant who misuses their position. It's not enough for Neely, who wants to make sure the teacher can never step foot inside another classroom again.
"I just want to make sure that she isn't able to teach again," said Neely. "I just want to make sure that justice is served for Aiden."
I think this was a horrible idea and taught the kids all the wrong things, particularly those who didn't want to hit him. And anytime an adult says "don't tell anyone", there's foolishness going down.
I also wonder if the teacher had tried to talk to the parent about the issue before and how the mom responded. If he was a bully and smacking folks, I can't with her only caring now that it was her kid.
I def want to know more about this. I hope they give more info.
I also notice that the mom didn't say anything about what her own child had done.
That's the one thing I was wondering - was the mom informed and just didn't acknowledge the behavior or try to intervene, or did the mom not know at all.
If I had to guess, I would say that mom knew just because I think in her speaking to the media, she would have said something to that effect in terms of how it should have been handled. I think the fact that she didn't mention her own child was accused of being a bully says something. Regardless, it's an insane way to teach a lesson. It might have showed the bully how it felt, but it taught the other students that the way to handle this is with inflicting physcial violence right back - Kindergarten is too young for kids to comprehend what the main point of this exercise was imo.
I do wonder too what the child had been doing to lead the teacher to do this - but.... she was WOEFULLY off the mark with this. It's shocking to me.
But yet, I also hope it's a wake-up call to the mom that maybe things w/ her kid shouldn't be overlooked (assuming there was some overlooking being done).
I have a hard time believing any six year old could have bullied another six year old so viciously that they deserved to be physically assaulted by 24 other children. Maybe there's more to this story. Maybe there were notes home, children sent to the hospital, principals who refused to intervene, parents who ignored teacher pleas... But I'm guessing probably not.
I'm with you, and I'm a little grossed out by all the â€I bet he never bullied again.†And, â€I wonder what he did to deserve it.†stuff...
If it was a man who had a dozen of his friends each smack his wife because she was out of line, we'd string him up, not wonder what she did to deserve it, and if she did it again.
Sent from my HTC Glacier using ProBoards... So excuse any wonky autocorrect.
I have a hard time believing any six year old could have bullied another six year old so viciously that they deserved to be physically assaulted by 24 other children. Maybe there's more to this story. Maybe there were notes home, children sent to the hospital, principals who refused to intervene, parents who ignored teacher pleas... But I'm guessing probably not.
I'm with you, and I'm a little grossed out by all the â€I bet he never bullied again.†And, â€I wonder what he did to deserve it.†stuff...
If it was a man who had a dozen of his friends each smack his wife because she was out of line, we'd string him up, not wonder what she did to deserve it, and if she did it again.
Sent from my HTC Glacier using ProBoards... So excuse any wonky autocorrect.
Eh, I don't think anyone thinks this was an appropriate punishment regardless of what he did beforehand, but these articles never really provide the full story and yes I think people are curious about the aspects that are left out.
I have a hard time believing any six year old could have bullied another six year old so viciously that they deserved to be physically assaulted by 24 other children. Maybe there's more to this story. Maybe there were notes home, children sent to the hospital, principals who refused to intervene, parents who ignored teacher pleas... But I'm guessing probably not.
I'm with you, and I'm a little grossed out by all the â€I bet he never bullied again.†And, â€I wonder what he did to deserve it.†stuff...
If it was a man who had a dozen of his friends each smack his wife because she was out of line, we'd string him up, not wonder what she did to deserve it, and if she did it again.
Sent from my HTC Glacier using ProBoards... So excuse any wonky autocorrect.
Yeah, this. It's a 6 year old, FFS. And telling other kids to hit someone to teach him a lesson?! If I were the parent of a kid that had been instructed to slap someone in the face, I'd be beyond livid.
Also, a kid hurt and humiliated by his peers and teacher sounds like prime bully material to me.
I'm with you, and I'm a little grossed out by all the â€I bet he never bullied again.†And, â€I wonder what he did to deserve it.†stuff...
Just to be clear, I'm not dancing around gleefully clapping my hands saying "I bet he never bullied anyone again!" But when I read this, I thought of that video from Australia where that kid body slammed the kid that was hitting him - and like that, I just wondered what the after affects were for the bully. Just wondered. Please don't misconstrue my sentiment there.
Like does not beget like, and I'm not condoning what the teacher did here in any way, shape or form.
I have a hard time believing any six year old could have bullied another six year old so viciously that they deserved to be physically assaulted by 24 other children. Maybe there's more to this story. Maybe there were notes home, children sent to the hospital, principals who refused to intervene, parents who ignored teacher pleas... But I'm guessing probably not.
I totally believe a 6-year-old could significantly bully other children his own age. My boys will go all Lord of the Flies in the time it takes me to shower.
I saw this on GMA yesterday, and the story did report the teacher's repeated attempts to deal with this kid, but didn't say what they were. That does not in any way condone the teachers actions, and she has already been fired.
As the mom of a child who has been bullied ALL year by another 6 year old child, I 100% believe that there are kids out there capable of this stuff. My 6 year old (who has autism) was called a "shit head", told to "have a shitty day", told his "breath smelled like diarrhea", and was told "You're stupid" multiple times throughout the school year. This child also has hit him, kicked him, pinched him, stolen his winter hat, and tried to get others to join in.
Having said that, when my mother-in-law told Matthew to punch the child in the face my child responded with "Grandma, why would I do that? I'd get in trouble. I'm a good boy! My mommy tells me I'm a good boy and good boys use hands for hugging not for hitting!" He told his teachers what my mother-in-law said followed by what he said. I was quite proud of him!
I have gone a different route by making the admins responsible for every action. I'm documenting everything, I e-mail the principal and bully investigator as we are in NJ and have an anti bullying law. I also went to a school board meeting and asked what they were doing to protect my child. The principal has done little to assist until recently. I am still not satisfied with what is being done.
The parents have a "not my child" approach to everything. I am assuming this is the case with this parent. While I disagree with what the teacher did, I have to wonder what the parents responses were prior to her doing this. I have to question the principal and admins who should have known what this child was doing.
I have a hard time believing any six year old could have bullied another six year old so viciously that they deserved to be physically assaulted by 24 other children. Maybe there's more to this story. Maybe there were notes home, children sent to the hospital, principals who refused to intervene, parents who ignored teacher pleas... But I'm guessing probably not.
I'm with you, and I'm a little grossed out by all the â€I bet he never bullied again.†And, â€I wonder what he did to deserve it.†stuff...
If it was a man who had a dozen of his friends each smack his wife because she was out of line, we'd string him up, not wonder what she did to deserve it, and if she did it again.
Sent from my HTC Glacier using ProBoards... So excuse any wonky autocorrect.
A man's job is not to discipline his wife - they are equals. A teacher's job IS to discipline students when necessary and they are not equals.
I completely agree that the teacher was out of line and this wouldn't be appropriate in ANY situation. But I will admit that I have very little sympathy for bullies, especially since so many teachers and schools seem afraid to do anything at all to stop them (and so many parents make excuses for their own children when they bully).
Having said that, when my mother-in-law told Matthew to punch the child in the face my child responded with "Grandma, why would I do that? I'd get in trouble. I'm a good boy! My mommy tells me I'm a good boy and good boys use hands for hugging not for hitting!" He told his teachers what my mother-in-law said followed by what he said. I was quite proud of him!
God damn, marissa. I'm licensed to practice law in NJ and this make me want to come out of retirement and handle your matter pro bono.
I have no sympathy for bullies, and even less for adults who know the bullying is happening and do nothing. OTOH, this particular teacher is a mess.
I'm working with the Ed. Law Center and an begging them to give me a lawyer. They said they would help but they were short staffed on lawyers at the time I called in mid May. They told me to do exactly what I was doing. That didn't help as I knew the proper channels to take.
I am working with SPAN as well trying to get info, have called the Bully Hotline to get info, and am working with NJ Parent Advocates *a new group and I'm VP of the group* to get advice.
Having said that, THIS teacher is showing exactly the opposite of what I've taught my children. Violence isn't the answer. It is the problem.
Having said that, when my mother-in-law told Matthew to punch the child in the face my child responded with "Grandma, why would I do that? I'd get in trouble. I'm a good boy! My mommy tells me I'm a good boy and good boys use hands for hugging not for hitting!" He told his teachers what my mother-in-law said followed by what he said. I was quite proud of him!
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
Post by cookiemdough on Jun 19, 2012 9:56:23 GMT -5
Has there ever been a study done that shows what *does* actually work in improving the behavior of bullies? It seems that you hear a lot about people growing up and looking back on their behavior with regret, but how do we get that feeling of regret and empathy in bullies while they are young. Outside of punishment has there been any theories at what actually changes the behavior of a bully?
Has there ever been a study done that shows what *does* actually work in improving the behavior of bullies? It seems that you hear a lot about people growing up and looking back on their behavior with regret, but how do we get that feeling of regret and empathy in bullies while they are young. Outside of punishment has there been any theories at what actually changes the behavior of a bully?
I would think being separated from the group and group activities might be a start.
Isolate the bully and make him/her feel shame about his/her actions.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
Has there ever been a study done that shows what *does* actually work in improving the behavior of bullies? It seems that you hear a lot about people growing up and looking back on their behavior with regret, but how do we get that feeling of regret and empathy in bullies while they are young. Outside of punishment has there been any theories at what actually changes the behavior of a bully?
My understanding is that â€punishment†doesn't work well at all, that you have to get to the root of the behavior.
Having been mercilessly bullied myself, I don't have much sympathy for bullies, but no matter what this kid did, this was wrong. Full stop. Sent from my HTC Glacier using ProBoards... So excuse any wonky autocorrect.
As an aside, why are you still at that school? Do they have special programs for kids with autism that aren't offered elsewhere? At the risk of you misreading my tone, that is not an accusation. It's an honest question. I would be furious if that were my child, all the more so if there were some reason I was stuck at that school.[/quote]
We got his official diagnosis about 6 weeks ago. This is the sticking point, this is his home school and he is able to be in inclusion academically with structured supports. Matthew's official diagnosis is PDD_NOS and we are looking into possible co-morbids. With my other 2 boys (who also have autism), I know autism "doesn't travel alone"; we believe he has dysgraphia and we were told he has anxiety. We were also told there is a possibility of ADHD with Matthew. With the new DSM changes there will no longer be classifications of PDD_NOS, autism, or Aspergers. Matthew is social with adults but doesn't know how to be with kids. When he is social with adults it takes him time to warm up. We want/need him to be in a LRE that has typical peers rather than a specialized school for children with autism. He has had an IEP since he was 3. Matthew right now is in a typical kindergarten for part of the day and a developmental kindergarten for the other part of the day. They won't move his school unless there is a different placement at another school that would meet his needs better. Because they offer resource room support, which is what he'll be getting in 1st grade, at his home school they won't move him.
The bullying initially started in a preschool program so they separated the boys into different classes. They live near us so the boys are on the same bus route. Matthew has an aid as he couldn't walk up the stairs due to his physical delays. The geneticist we see for our 4 year old believes that M and his twin brother have the same genetic syndrome our youngest son has. Next year the boys will be on different bus routes and the principal made their schedules so they will have no interaction.
I have a hard time believing any six year old could have bullied another six year old so viciously that they deserved to be physically assaulted by 24 other children.
Agree. I think that schools should be doing a hell of a lot more to end bullying, but the fact that a teacher thought that this was a solution just shows how much needs to be done.