SAHMS ? - Transitioning to Preschool

[readyin07]

DS is 3 (will be 4 in January) and has never been in school or daycare. I also have a 9 month old DS at home. I just got into an argument with my mom about plans for his school next year and wonder what others did/think.

I had planned on putting DS 1 in school 2 days next year (TUE/TH). Program is from 9 to noon. Honestly, I love having him home, love taking him to little classes, the library, the park. BUT, I think it is important that he gets a taste of school before he starts a full five day PREK program the following year and he really does need to start an "education" - I try to teach him some at home, but yeah, that doesn't work. He needs that kind of structure to prepare for PREK, needs to learn to listen to other adults and make friends without my involvement He's been watching too much tv while I am busy with DS #2, etc. I would also like a little time alone with DS #2.

However, there are a lot of "fun" things I like to take the kids to do on Wednesdays and Fridays (only other option for school is MWF schedule)- there is an open gym, special "older kid" story hour at the library, preschool bounce sessions at the local bouncy place, a special day at our local indoor playground where they have tons of free crafts and free rides on a carousel and train that they have in their complex....I LOVE doing these things with my boys and there is a definite part of me that thinks that he will be in school the rest of his youth and I want to enjoy this time.

I thought a 2 day program would be the best of both worlds. My mom said I was being selfish and that once he got in school he would want to be with his friends and be "left out" if he wasn't there more (I think a lot of kids in the program are actually 5 dayers). She was really quite nasty about it. I don't want him to get left behind educationally or socially of course. But I am super sad thinking of him being gone all those days and missing out on doing fun stuff with his brother and me. I also would not be able to take DS #2 to do those fun things because we live about 30 minutes from most "attractions" and I wouldn't be able to drop DS #1 off, take DS #2 and spend any quality time there and get back in time for pick-up -- although I do have the option of extending his day to 2pm for a minimal cost.

So what does mm think? 2 days or 3?

[ijack]

I think either is fine. I agree that at that age it's beneficial to learn about "school" and what it's going to be like, but at 3 2 days a week is okay.

[littlemermaid]

I would do the 2 day program and that way you still have time to do all the other activities on the days he's home. I have to disagree with your mom that your child will want to be at school more often. My kids did 2 days/week when they were 3 years old and 3 days/week when they were 4 years old for 2.5 hours on those days and they knew what days they went to school and looked forward to those days but never did they say "I wish I was going everyday." I think the 2 day/week for a few hours on those days will be a good introduction for him.

[katb]

I think 2 days to start is a great way. Is all preK five days where you are? It really depends on the child. I had one that was in prek five days a week. My twins were only 3 days a week. I feel like they will be schooled 5 days a week in Kindergarten, so no rush to do full time if not needed/wanted. My twins would have collapsed of exhaustion if I had made them to five days of preschool. My youngest (who will be four this August) will go this fall three days a week as well. He prob could do three or five days, but I like having him at home as well.

[Willis Jackson]

I think 2 days to start is great.

Maybe my kid is a dummy but I really don't think it occurs to him that other kids are at school on days that he isn't.

[drloretta]

I agree that 2 days is fine. DD will be 2.5 in the fall, and we're looking for her to start a preschool thing 2 half-days per week as well. We want her to do Montessori the following fall, so we figure 2 days a week (maybe going up to 3 later on) will give her a taste of a structured classroom-type environment before she goes 5 days a week. But that will still give me time to do stuff with her outside of preschool--we have a lot of options like where you live.

As for your mom's comment, I think it will depend somewhat on the kids in your DS's class. If there are a lot of other 2-dayers or 3-dayers, I doubt he'll really have an issue with not being there every day. And unless the kids are constantly talking about stuff they did on days he wasn't there, I don't see how he'd even know which kids were there all week.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I think 2 days is fine.

I'm in a similar situation -- my DD is starting 3 year old preschool this fall. She turns 3 in July, so she'll have one year of 3 year old preschool, then one year of pre-K (which is five days a week here), then she'll start kindergarten (full days, five days a week).

DD is doing 3 days a week, but I really wanted her to do 2 days a week. They just don't offer 2 day a week programs in my area (the 2 day a week programs are for 2 year olds).

I think all of preschool (3 year old AND pre-K) is all about getting your child ready for kindergarten. It's not so much about what they learn (because you could easily teach colors, shapes, letters, etc. at home), but about learning how to be in a school setting, learning to listen to teachers, behave in a group, etc.

I think 2 days a week will prepare him just fine. If he has trouble transitioning to 5 days a week the next year, my guess is that it probably will take a couple weeks to get used to going to school every day, then he'll be fine.

[slug*bug]

Team you: I would've gone the same route you're planning and think 2 days a week at his age is a good balance between pre-K and being home with you.

[SusanBAnthony]

I agree that 2 days is fine. Also, why would he miss school- you are taking him to do a bunch of fun stuff!

Your mom is crazy. DS is 4.5 and just finished his 2nd year of preschool, and likes it a lot, but if I ever say to him "do you want to skip school and go to __________ (insert anything here, even go to Target) he is happy to!

[6fsn]

We're starting out with 2 days/wk for basically the same reasons as you.

[mmmomof2]

In our area 3 year olds generally only go 2 days a week unless it's for childcare.

[Deleted]

Here, 3 year olds typically go Tues/Thurs half days. Four year olds (pre k) typically go MWF half days. Then kindergarten is 5 half days.

Team you.

[Deleted]

I think your reasons seem valid. And if it turns out that he loves school so much and wants to go more often, you could always bump him up a day in the future.

[beaver12]

I think it depends on your kid. We are starting DD in 3 day preschool. Thursday to Tuesday is a really long time to be away from school. My mom taught preschool for many years and said a lot of kids really struggled with that schedule. DD needs more structure/routine so we are doing MWF even though it cuts into some of our current activities.

[cookiemdough]

I think that you should make this decision based on the personality of your child. Some kids need the socialization and structure that comes along with more days in preschool and some don't.

[brit1017]

We started DS in pre-school 2 mornings/ week this year (at 3yo) and this fall he will go to pre-k 5 mornings a week. DD will start pre-school 2 mornings/week in the fall as well. She turns 3 in Dec, but the way that the school cut-offs fall, she will be starting pre-k next fall (2013). I think that 2 days has been great for DS. It eased him in without being a super-rough transition to the schedule and the academic stuff, and he gets a lot of other kid interaction at the playground and his babysitters. I have seen a huge improvement in his alphabet and writing, even only going 2 days a week.

[megs193]

2 days a week is a good way to start. My son went 2 days a week this past year, will go 3 days a week next year and pre-k will be 5 days a week. The one thing I will say is that it seemed to take the Tuesday, Thursday kids longer to get used to preschool since there were 4 days in a row when they didn't go but my son did eventually get used to it and loved it.

[redheadk]

I taught K before I moved up to teaching older students (and now SAH).

I completely agree with you that he has plenty of school years ahead of him. DH and I really want to send our kids (I'm pg with our 1st) to Montessori and the one I like best is 5 days/week from 8:30-3:00. No thanks. I don't think it's necessary (based on my intuition, experience, and research) for them to go full-time prior to K. I want time to do things with them before they are school-age like storytime and the zoo, same as you, and I want them to learn to play independently at home.

Ignore your mom. If you are really worried, ask if you could switch to the 5-day program if space is available should your DS wish to go daily.

[liveintheville]

We did 2 days/wk and it's been fine. He's still a year off from kindergarten, but I don't think he'll have any issues going from 2 days to fulltime kindergarten.

[upupandaway]

Jun 19, 2012 9:10:46 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

I think 2 days to start is great.

Maybe my kid is a dummy but I really don't think it occurs to him that other kids are at school on days that he isn't.

This. The first time we ran into one of DS's pre-school teachers at the grocery store, he had this look on his face like his entire world was spinning like a top. Maybe he thought the teachers lived at school and slept under their desk? With a new baby I would do three days myself but I struggle parenting two simultaneously and get shrew-ish.

[Deleted]

I think in an ideal world you slowly build your kid up to the 5 days a week of K. When they are 2 do a 2 day a week program, at 3 do a 3 day a week and at 4 4days.

[webmistress0609]

We started Ari in a Montessori toddler program 2 mornings per week in Jan. We bumped to 3 days in late Apr (he's out from June 1-Aug 15 for summer) because he was enjoying himself so much & the 3rd day was an "open" day for us - no other activities. I think 2-3 days is great & best of both worlds. He really enjoyed his time at school & it gave me a nice break too.

[statlerwaldorf]

I say do what works best for you. I don't think 2 vs. 3 days is going to make any difference.

[dragonfly08]

Both of my girls started preschool in 2 day/week programs (ThF for #1 and TTh for #2)and I think it was perfect. Neither had trouble with extended time away over the weekends. They enjoyed being home, but they were happy to go back to school, too.

[downtoearth]

I'm a working mom, so of course I needed care for 5 days per week, but when our first son started preschool at 3 he was with a nanny most of the time, then at preschool from 8:30 to 12:00 3 days per week. He loved preschool - loved playing with the other kids, the structure, the activities, etc.

It's only for the school year (Sept - May), so he still had lots of time away from school to be at home and be with his brother. He then went to a pre-K Montessori that was 5-days per week the next year.

That being said, now that DS#2 is 3 and he's enrolled in a 5-day per week Montessori and so far is thriving. I think it really does depend on how independant the kid is and if you have the $$ extra for more preschool - each situation is different.

ETA: Whoops - you were only talking to SAHMs.

[momabear]

Totally Team You. The days you have with your child are few compared to the number of days they will be in school. If you enjoy spending time with him and plan fun things to do, I say do it. Once 5 day a week school starts, you will only have summers to plan fun all day activities. I think exposing them to stuff other than school is just as important.