have you thought about disability?

[caramia]

The last 3 weeks have been really rough for me - it feels like I'm going into a Crohn's flare up, plus my joint pain has been worse than usual.  In August, I've missed 4 days of work so far, and I only have enough PTO to cover 16 hours... the rest is leave w/o pay.  I'm covered by FMLA, so I'm not worried about losing my job (yet), but I need the money.  We can't live off of H's salary, but I'm struggling to work. 

So, have you considered disability?  How sick do you think you'd have to be to quit your job?  I'm not seriously considering it now, since I know I'm not sick enough to meet the Social Security criteria, but I'm curious who else has thought about this.  I really think I'd feel a lot better if I had time to rest enough, plan meals carefully, stretch/do yoga, exercise more, etc. but working takes up a lot of that time & drains me. 

I think I'd probably feel guilty collecting disability, since I'm dying... but it'd be nice to be able to really concentrate on myself & my health, you know?  What are your thoughts?

[anna7602]

I freelance now, as opposed to working full-time anywhere. I've been doing only freelancing for about 4 years, although I was freelancing while working full-time for a while (so total maybe 9-ish years). I still get really stressed out sometimes about managing deadlines on big projects and worry that I will be totally screwed if I get so sick I can't finish something, but so far, working for myself has allowed me the time and space to do the things you say: cook for myself more, do more yoga/exercise more, not deal with the stress of commuting into an office, etc. I *think* I am doing better overall now health-wise than I was before I switched over to only freelancing. In fact, part of what motivated the switch was a really bad flare up about 2 years before I went exclusively freelance. I had to go on steroids and was generally a mess. After that, I scaled back to part-time at my desk job and slowly ramped up my freelance business until it could sustain me financially.

A key part of this, of course, is that DH's job covers my health insurance. No way in hell I could just freelance and pay for health insurance OOP.  

[OrangePixyStix]

I have a former co-worker friend who quit b/c of health issues and she has been nearly 100% better since being home full-time. She said her stress-induced symptoms of flare-ups have not happened at all since she stopped working and she has been able to make better food choices w/ having more time for grocery shopping and food prep than she did before. She almost convinces me that work was a source of many of her problems, but I don't necessarily buy all of that... I think she just make so many changes at once and is focusing on the not working part as being the best catalyst for her improvements.

I cannot afford to not work, and have not considered it even in my worst flare up. I've been lucky to have a really flexible job w/ plenty of sick time and PTO to use, so they have accommodated my doc appts, procedures, and time off every time that I've needed it. If my job wasn't as flexible as it is, I would definitely have to consider changing to either PT work or a different job without so many restrictions, so I can understand if you have problems working a straight full-time job w/ a rigid schedule and no flexibility.

Good luck, I hope you can find a work arrangement that allows you to take the time you need to get healthy, or that your health improves enough that you won't have to consider giving up working.

[greenscreen]

I changed careers after two years of horrible Crohn's flares and near constant steriods. I know it isn't possible for everyone, but I am grateful I could make it happen. I don't think I could mentally handle not working regardless of the circumstances. Maybe your company would be willing to cut back your hours?

[caramia]

Thanks everyone - I really have no idea what to do still. I need to bring in some money, but I could rely on H's insurance if I had to (I'm double-covered right now under both of our plans). I could probably go part-time, but that would affect any future disability benefits (my LTD insurance pays off your last salary).

It's extra frustrating because I just had a CT scan & colonoscopy... which really showed nothing. There's no inflammation, no scar tissue, no blockage. I'm having pain for no visible reason, so I have no answers. I just wish someone could tell me what to do & everything would be fine