My grandmother is being abused * Update pg 2

[sugarbear]

It's such a long story and I only have one hand right now. The gist is, she's 94 and has dementia. She lives in her house with a team of young women for 24-hour care. I communicate with them on FB. They are in Mass and I'm in Seattle. Gma has a living will that makes her wishes very clear, but it's never been notarized.

My aunt lives in NY, and drove down Monday. Since she arrived, she fired all the caregivers, hired a realtor and movers, and cashed out $50k of stock (aunt does have poa).

the caregivers who were fired have visited every day. I trust them. They have reported my gma lying in her feces, in a soaking wet bed. Gma yelling at my aunt and HER caregiver to keep their hands off her, to go away, and to make all the bad people leave. Gma followed the realtor around the house crying, begging her to leave, to not kick her out of the house. My aunt's caregiver has been laughing in my gma's face. Aunt's caregiver has been "caring" for both of them for 7 days, 24/7, with no breaks. Aunt has Parkinson's.

I'm trying to find an attorney, but can't get anyone on the Cape who is able to help me (or, at least, who as returned messages left on Friday). I have one more lead. I'm so frustrated, and sad.

[jewel]

How sad. I'm so sorry

Call Adult Protective Services and make a report. Tell the former care givers to report as well.

[christy082]

I am so sorry. That is heartbreaking. 

Have you looked into adult protective services in your area?

APS

I don't know where you are at, but that link is there national site.

[Chelle]

I'm so sorry. I would strongly recommend speaking with a social worker in your grandmas state.

[rex]

Oh no, I'm so sorry.

Please report this and encourage those who have seen this to report it as well.

[sugarbear]

Aug 19, 2013 16:45:03 GMT -5 jewel said:

How sad. I'm so sorry

Call Adult Protective Services and make a report. Tell the former care givers to report as well.

We have filed four reports, between them, my brother, and me. I thought they would visit today, but they didn't. I'm worried that she'll take my grandmother before elder services intervenes.

[sugarbear]

Aug 19, 2013 16:45:32 GMT -5 mofongo said:

You need to make an report with elder protective services in her local area. Just like with child abuse but for elders. Are there other siblings than just your aunt?

My mom and uncle have passed away. Yesterday, grandma was screaming at my aunt, "the wrong kids died! Why wasn't it you?!?" 

[sugarbear]

Aug 19, 2013 16:48:16 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Where is she planning to take her?

Supposedly aunt has leased an apt across the hall from hers in NYC. But intends to share a caregiver.

[AlpineSlide]

I'm so sorry. I have no advice, if you've already filed reports, then just keep calling and fighting for her. Good luck.

[demofea01]

You can call her local PD and ask them to do a welfare check on her. If it's as bad as the caretkers are saying then they'll insist on APS coming out immediately.

[sugarbear]

Aug 19, 2013 16:48:49 GMT -5 frkls said:

i'm so confused about how POA works in this situation. i mean, it sounds like your grandmother is pretty competent to be making her own decisions. i thought people named a POA in advance of needing one, but it doesn't kick in until they are deemed necessary by the court?

I don't know; that's one of the many questions I have for a lawyer. Gma is lucid sometimes. She totally knows what is going on.

[sergey]

I'm so sorry. Hopefully APS steps in quickly.

[sugarbear]

Aug 19, 2013 16:51:30 GMT -5 demofea01 said:

You can call her local PD and ask them to do a welfare check on her. If it's as bad as the caretkers are saying then they'll insist on APS coming out immediately.

Why didn't we think of this?!? A great idea.
Thank you.

[snickers]

I am so sorry, that is awful, please report it.

[pixelpassion]

This makes me beyond sad. I hope APS intervenes and your grandmother will be able to live the way she wants and deserves.

[BlackCanary]

I have no advice, but I'm so sorry for you and your Gma.

[lime]

Oh, how awful. I hope a police report would help expedite this.

[demofea01]

Aug 19, 2013 16:52:41 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

Aug 19, 2013 16:51:30 GMT -5 demofea01 said:

You can call her local PD and ask them to do a welfare check on her. If it's as bad as the caretkers are saying then they'll insist on APS coming out immediately.

Why didn't we think of this?!? A great idea.
Thank you.

You're welcome. I hope they're able to get her taken care of and out of this mess, or at least get APS involved a lot sooner.

[Deleted]

This makes me so sad. Please come back and updated us and let us know how this plays out.

[Miss Phryne Fisher]

This is horrible, and sadly so common. I am so sorry your gma is dealing with her asshole child.

[redheadk]

How heartbreaking. I hope the police are able to get something done and that your grandmother is back to receive the care she needs immediately.

[jewel]

Aug 19, 2013 16:46:39 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

Aug 19, 2013 16:45:03 GMT -5 jewel said:

How sad. I'm so sorry

Call Adult Protective Services and make a report. Tell the former care givers to report as well.

We have filed four reports, between them, my brother, and me. I thought they would visit today, but they didn't. I'm worried that she'll take my grandmother before elder services intervenes.

That's terrible. Sometimes it can take a few days to get out to the home to investigate, which is awful. Beyond the other great advice here, continue to have everyone make a report every single time you hear something new. Call each report in via the hotline AND send in a written report. You'd be surprised at how many calls go undocumented. See if you can get in touch with the social worker who has the case. As a reporting party, you should be privy to some information.

[Deleted]

OMG

You have good advice here.

[alzi]

How awful:( I hope she gets some help. I'm glad she has someone on her side

[starlily]

Skip APS. Call the police.

[sugarbear]

Updating: I called the police. No one is home, but it doesn't appear that they've moved yet.

[lime]

Oh man, I hope they are able to help you out in time. Are they going to check back on her later?

[VeryViolet]

I am so sorry you and your grandmother are going through this. I just sent you a PM. My DH's grandmother is in MA and has dimentia and he takes care of all of her care.

[Deleted]

this is so awful. i'm sorry. i hope they can help.

[themysteriouswife]

I am sorry you have to deal with this