Post by runforrest on Jun 20, 2012 14:14:12 GMT -5
I think it's normal to feel a bit of a difference. My B and SIL have three kids (2 girls and a boy), and my SIL (H's sister) has a boy and a girl. I love them all dearly, but I do feel more of a connection to my brother's kids. I also feel more comfortable disciplining them - if we are visiting my SIL in CO and are watching their kids, I let my H do the disciplining if needed. I feel like it isn't really my place.
My H is great with my brother's kids and they love him to pieces.
I would do anything for all 5 of them, but I still feel a stronger connection to my brother's kids.
Post by liverandonions on Jun 20, 2012 14:21:04 GMT -5
I am extreme amount of close to my sister and her kids, and not as much with my Brother-in-law and his kids. I think it's because of my relationship with him though, and my husband is just whatever around all of them. I try so hard to not be that way, but my sister keeps me totally included in their lives, I talk to my 4 year old niece on the phone (they live in Texas) and she sends me pictures. My brother in law and soon to be ex sister in law just don't. It makes me feel like a crappy Aunt though.
I have a teenaged step-nephew, am an aunt (in-law) to a 5-year-old niece and 4-year-old nephew and am aunt to my adopted cousin's 3-year-old daughter (we are for all intents and purposes sisters).
I'm not blood related to any of them and love them all, but I took care of the youngest when she was a preemie and her mom was having emergency surgery. I cried the first time I saw her face in the ultrasound picture. We actually moved across the country to be close to them, because I wanted my child to have the same close relationship with his cousin as I did with her mom.
I don't have that connection to the other three. But I do think that your aunts and uncles can really play a role in the teen years, when you can't STAND your own parents but still need adult guidance. I lived with my cousin's parents on and off in high school and college, so there will always be a place for all the kids at our house.
Post by peachdragon on Jun 20, 2012 15:08:47 GMT -5
OMG I was actually thinking of this today. I can't wait to read the replies. I am not a "blood-aunt" yet, but my husband has a niece and nephew. I was wondering about this because my daughter was adopted, and I wonder if my husband's sister feels the same way about our daughter as my husband feels about her niece. Sad. :-( I hope she does.
Post by mommyneedswine on Jun 20, 2012 15:16:32 GMT -5
I'm an aunt-in-law. I love my nieces and nephews. I'm not super close to them as I came into the picture after they were all born.
My brother is now waiting for his kid to be born in like the next month. I do not want anything to do with this child. I don't really know the mom and I can barely stand being in the same room with my brother. I feel like I should feel bad about saying I don't care about this kid as it's not the child's fault, but I don't at all.
Same except niece and niece. I actually love them a lot more than I like their parents, lol.
It's very unlikely my only sister will ever have kids.
I suspect my brother will have children some day.
But these two little kids. Man. They are just the best. My husband and I often talk about how great they are -- so funny, charming, and outgoing. Their parents are THE nicest people, but they're not particularly interesting.
OMG I was actually thinking of this today. I can't wait to read the replies. I am not a "blood-aunt" yet, but my husband has a niece and nephew. I was wondering about this because my daughter was adopted, and I wonder if my husband's sister feels the same way about our daughter as my husband feels about her niece. Sad. I hope she does.
First, I cannot imagine not loving that precious baby. Also I think for some of the people who are less close with their husbands nieces and nephews it has less to do with blood and more to do with it being "your family" rather than "the in-laws". I may just be rambling but I am sure your SIL adores your daughter.
My husband is an only child so I only have my sister's son but I know it took a while for my husband to feel like he was "our nephew". Now that the nephew is older my husband is more into being an uncle.
OMG I was actually thinking of this today. I can't wait to read the replies. I am not a "blood-aunt" yet, but my husband has a niece and nephew. I was wondering about this because my daughter was adopted, and I wonder if my husband's sister feels the same way about our daughter as my husband feels about her niece. Sad. I hope she does.
First, I cannot imagine not loving that precious baby. And also I think it has less to do with blood and more to do with it being "your family" than "the in-laws". I may just be rambling but I am sure your SIL adores your daughter.
That's definitely how it is for me. I can't stand BIL and SIL. Of course I don't take that out on their kid because she has nothing to do with it. I treat her the same as my blood nephew, but I guess there's just more "excitement" for my brother's kid.
I only have nephews on H's side (soon to have a niece!!!!!) I've been overly excited about each one. I imagine my sibs procreating will elicit the same responses.
Post by marchmom06 on Jun 20, 2012 17:41:30 GMT -5
My sister has two boys that I'm super close to. I am an "aunt-in-law" to a niece & nephew that I've never met & likely never will. They live out of the country & I'm 99.999% sure I'll never be in Iran to visit. It makes me sad, but I have little interaction with them. I don't know how I'd feel if they were local.
I feel like an aunt. I love my nieces. I was there when they were born.
I cannot imagine feeling differently about kids that were "blood".
I recognize that I have yet to experience this though, and won't for a while. My sister who is closest in age to me is (hopefully) a LONG way off from having kids. She's a trainwreck.
Post by pinkplasticdoll on Jun 20, 2012 19:25:53 GMT -5
My sister has 3 kids and I love each of them to pieces. My fi's sister has 1 and another on the way, I think the kid is funny but I don't love her like I do my nieces. I think if my fi's sister was able to parent her kid better I would like the kid more, I know that is awful to say but it is the truth, she doesnt listen, is a chatterbox and interrupts you all the time it is highly annoying. My nieces are well behaved for the most part but have times when they run wild, I just feel closer to them and an know that they respect me more.
For me I think it has more to do with the relationships among adults. If you're close to the parents then you'll be close to the kids, no matter the blood relation.
I agree, I'm much closer to my BIL's kid then I am my brother's. My brother makes zero effort to involve us or keep us updated on what is going on. BIL invites us to ball games, for BBQs, to go places with them.
I'm definitely less excited about my brother's #2 then I am waiting for BIL's.
I have two nieces in-law that I have seen maybe 3 times. DH pretty much can't stand his half sister and the kids stole from him so he isn't close either. I may have another niece or nephew depending on how BILs paternity test results come back (BIL is a train wreck, poor kid) SIL is due in August and while I was close with bro I am not a fan of SIL and I haven't been able to muster up excitement for nephew. Maybe once he is here I will feel different? I adore my SDs though so I'm not completely heartless. They get here Saturday for summer and Sunday we leave for Disney and they have no idea. I can't frickin wait.