anyone got superglue?

[bernergirl]

'cos my heart's in a million pieces my soulmate, the love of my life, broke it today and it feels like i lost part of myself. i just don't understand. we've been together for over two years, he's met my parents, i've met his friends. we've said 'i love you'. a lot. we took a short break last fall when he was overwhelmed with some family stuff, but got back together again almost immediately, just took things a little slower. 2 months ago we celebrated his birthday and it felt like we were back to 100%. a month ago we were talking about him moving in when his lease expired next month. today he tells me 'i like you a lot- you're a very nice person - but we're not going to be a couple.' what. the. fuck.?

there's a part of me that's sure he doesn't mean that. there's a part of me that says that if he's saying that just to get me to move on, to protect me from what he thinks is too many complications, even if he doesn't mean it, that i should move on.

he is going through a lot - he's got enormous job stress, he misses his kids terribly (they are 6000 miles away) and his relationship with his XW is not great on good days. he moved away from his friends and his support system last year (not for me, though he did move to where i live) but his job has made it impossible for him to get settled here - he's travelling for almost 3 weeks out of the month and he's still trying to get overseas to see his kids at least once a month. it doesn't leave a lot of time for a relationship - i get that. i've never nagged him about that. i've always been supportive of him and understanding of the outside pressures in his life. so i don't understand what happened to make that love and support not enough - or too much.

he promised we will talk this week, maybe i'll get some more answers. not that they'll be the ones i want. man, this sucks.

[doriswe]

I'm sorry your dealing with this. I think we'll need more info before being able to give good advice....how old are you both? Why are his kids in another country? Were you guys always long distance?

[bernergirl]

i'm 33, he's 43, both divorced. we were long distance for the first year (2-hour plane flight), but we've basically been long-distance again the past 5 months with his work schedule. he's a UK citizen as are his XW and their kids; when they split she took the kids and went back home. he was making plans to move back there as well - and asked me to move with him - but the pay would have been barely enough to pay CS and alimony and not have left him much to live on; his US salary is enough to do all of that so he decided to stay here after all. however, i know that it kills him to be away from his kids.

[explorer2001]

Well I have superglue but I have no idea how to help you. Hugs.

[hainesherway]

When someone tells you something like "I like you a lot, but we're not going to be a couple"- believe them! Trust me, it's not easy, but put your energy into moving on.