I have my couseling appt at 4

[speckledfrog]

I think it makes sense. I think you will also be surprised how much talking about it will help (one way or the other)

[LLL]

I hope the counseling gives you some clarity, it sucks being in limbo. ((hugs))

[scotty]

GL stpete

I understand the grey area very well.

[Deleted]

Good Luck! I'm in the gray area and need to address it as well. I hope you get some perspective and clarity on your situation. (})

[alzi]

Good luck xoxo

[julez]

Good luck tonight, stpete. I'm glad that you're doing something for yourself instead of just living in this gray area. I hope that you start feeling better about things soon, however that looks for you.

[Lauren88]

Good luck tonight. I know how hard it is to talk about the status of a marriage. The only good thing is that you'll get it off your chest and probably feel relieved after the talk. I hope your H takes it well.

[bcv513]

Good luck stpete

[muffin0]

Good luck!! Hope talking to someone helps

Edit: sorry I didnt mean to quote

[thebamker]

I'm told that what you described can be named Relationship Ambivalence.

You start weighing all the good things against the bad and no move seems like it's the right one. so you just stay.

Apparently - it is extremely common. Glad you're doing something about it.

[kellbell191]

I really hope today goes well and helps you get some clarity.

[ralphlauren]

Good luck

[sneetch]

I hope all goes well and the counseling session helps you sort out all your feelings.

[sprky79]

I hope that you find some clarity and can come up with a plan to move forward with your life in a meaningful fashion. You know what's at stake, and that the consequences of ending your marriage won't just be paid by you. I hope you can find some happiness here no matter what you decide. Good luck. :-)

[ladyk]

Good luck to you. I wish you peace.

[iamgrace]

Good luck.

[Deleted]

Jun 21, 2012 13:01:41 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Jun 21, 2012 12:15:47 GMT -5 @sprky79 said:

I hope that you find some clarity and can come up with a plan to move forward with your life in a meaningful fashion. You know what's at stake, and that the consequences of ending your marriage won't just be paid by you. I hope you can find some happiness here no matter what you decide. Good luck. :-)

Maybe I'm being sensitive, but this feels a bit judgy. Yes spky, I do get this.

fwiw- I'm about to leave to visit a client before the 4p appointment so i won't be here much until later.

The consequences of being unhappy in her marriage everyone will pay for as well.

I wish you the best of luck in your appt. Being honest to yourself is the first step.

[lightbulbsun]

Good luck. I hope you can figure out what you want.

[sprky79]

Jun 21, 2012 13:01:41 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Jun 21, 2012 12:15:47 GMT -5 @sprky79 said:

I hope that you find some clarity and can come up with a plan to move forward with your life in a meaningful fashion. You know what's at stake, and that the consequences of ending your marriage won't just be paid by you. I hope you can find some happiness here no matter what you decide. Good luck. :-)

Maybe I'm being sensitive, but this feels a bit judgy. Yes spky, I do get this.

fwiw- I'm about to leave to visit a client before the 4p appointment so i won't be here much until later.

Not trying to be judgy. I get you feel stuck right now. I hope things work out for you.

[papie]

Good luck, I hope you find some answers about what is best for you.

(((hugs)))

[mrsjuleshs]

That was totally me 6 months ago. I hope counseling helps.

[Deleted]

Good luck!

[youbetcha]

You don't know me, but good luck. The people I have known in this situation didn't get to counseling "in time" to not check out of the marriage mentally. They were just done and counseling after that point just wasn't going to help. It sounds like you still haven't checked out entirely so maybe there's a crack in the door for you to wedge your foot in with the help of a counselor, if that's what you want.

[cleo29]

I hope it goes well. I want to ask you something. If for some reason, his sex drive was really off, but he was still affectionate with you in other ways, would that make you feel differently? I think affection, hugs, kisses, back or leg rubs (without asking!) are just as important as sex itself.

[eightangryreindeer]

Hi, girly. Good luck. I'm glad we talked. I might not try to talk to him tonight. Again, sleep on what you talk about with the counselor and then talk.

Unless you just can't go a second longer.

tamb - I'm glad you said that, I felt like a crappy friend b/c I was pretty floored by this.

[BlackCanary]

Good luck. ({)

[Marle]

Jun 21, 2012 12:06:59 GMT -5 @stpete said:

POG- I'm leaning toward a separation at the least. If I lay it all out to the counselor and she really feels we can work though it then I will consider that. I was talking with my friend on my run this morning and put it this way- I want to be wanted. I don't want to have to go to counseling to make him want to be with me (physically) and frankly at this point I don't want him anymore. I don't know if that can be changed.

I know there are people here with my drier sex lives- but it's been 10 days now and he hasn't tried to make any moves. I admit I've been colder lately, but this is pretty normal for him/us. It's been like this a very long time and I have been telling him I need more than that for years. I know living alone isn't exactly a recipe for more sex, but at least I wouldn't feel bad busting out the rabbit after the kids are in bed, lol.

I was talking to DH about one of the posts here where people ask if it is normal to come at the same time and we eded up talking about "normalcy". You really have no idea what's "normal" when it comes to sex because is something so personal. You just hope the other person's normal jives with yours. He also said he's known a lot of couples where one person feels inadequate because they care about this "normalcy" more than just having a good time with whatever dysfunction works in their relationship. I wondered if you ever had that talk with your DH.

I didn't know you were bothered enough to think about separation but you have brought up the subject several times. And adding my 2 cents, I don't remember you guys being very affectionate in general. I've always gotten the friend vibe between you two; which is not bad until now.

And I just noticed you are mid appointment. Good luck! I have a guest room fwiw.

[bab]

I totally get what you are saying and I wish you all the best.