Just set the whole continent on fire. *WARNING- Spiders*

[tdk2]

Sept 10, 2013 15:35:09 GMT -5 05heel said:

Tdk, I would have run to the coast and fed myself to a shark. Or bashed my brains out on a coral reef. Or provoked a kangaroo into kicking me in the chest. What are other good ways to kill oneself in Australia? I'd try any of them.

And crocs and stone fish and a million poisonous snakes etc...
Nearly everything I caught on first fishing trip could put you in the hospital.

(Sting rays, but that's rare, it's kind of a fluke that one killed Steve Irwin).

FYI brown snakes will chase you, one of the few snakes that will. And they're actually named after the area in which Dh grew up (so I've heard). I was about 2 feet from stepping on a tiger snake once when we hiked a mountain.

It's a rather poisonous continent.
I only ended up in the hospital once and it was from little tiny (normally mostly harmless) sand flies over the years I've gone back and forth.

I laughed so hard at Dh when we started dating. We were camping over here in the US and the brave Aussie freaked out about a spider in the tent. Lol. Wasn't so funny after living there awhile. I am now a little more cautious about spiders in the US as well though we don't really have many bad ones in our area. I'm more likely to kill one rather than set it free as I woudl have in the past.

[firedancer49]

So I'm an asshole who had to Google "mouse eating spider." Guess what comes up in images.  That's not a mouse and that's not a spider eating it. 


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[Deleted]

Sept 10, 2013 15:51:09 GMT -5 Bree Van de Kamp said:

Guys. GUYS. I just noticed a bunch of spiders and sacs have covered my top gutter right above my front door. I googled what it looks like when those things hatch. OMFG. WHAT DO I DO.

1 can AquaNet
1 lighter
_____________
Flamethrower

[tdk2]

Sept 10, 2013 15:53:43 GMT -5 firedancer49 said:

So I'm an asshole who had to Google "mouse eating spider." Guess what comes up in images.  That's not a mouse and that's not a spider eating it. 


"]

Actually, I think mouse eating spiders are more scarily named than what they do. I think their venom somehow kind of liquifies or paralyzes the mouse? I can't remember if their venom hurts humans but it could as generally venoms that work on one mammal species can work on another. It's been a long time since I read up on them though.


Oh and I forgot blue ringed octopi in the deadly list. And a whole slew of others.

We travelled around the continent for a year though, so we got to see the deadly species from many more regions than most who live in one area or visit one or 2 places.

[tdk2]

Oh yeah, box jellyfish. They're in northern Queensland for a few months. June maybe?

Blue bottles are basically the Portuguese man of war jellyfish we get here in fl and other areas I think


Took me about a year after our travels to stop looking in the review mirror after you drive over a snake sunning itself in the desert on the hot pavement. I'd drive over a dark line in the US and check to see it was still on the pavement. (They can flip up into the body of your car and apparently like the warmth)

I thought I did amazingly well not to flip out one time. I drove my MIL's car into town. It was at the beginning of one of our visits so always takes a little extra concentration to make sure I'm driving correctly on the other side of the road. About 1/2 way into town, I saw a spider crawling around my door but couldn't see what kind it was. I was fine as long as it was in my view. THEN IT DISAPPEARED. Omg! Aussie spider on the loose next to me and I'm trying to focus on not crashing the car. Don't worry, I made it, I'm still alive. Mil was freaked to drive home w random spider though lol.

[Bree Van de Kamp]

Sept 10, 2013 15:58:27 GMT -5 @fucksticklegit said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:51:09 GMT -5 Bree Van de Kamp said:

Guys. GUYS. I just noticed a bunch of spiders and sacs have covered my top gutter right above my front door. I googled what it looks like when those things hatch. OMFG. WHAT DO I DO.

1 can AquaNet
1 lighter
_____________
Flamethrower

Why the fuck don't I own any aerosol hairspray!!?!?



These motherfuckers just have to be blocking my doorway.  

[flex]

Sept 10, 2013 15:19:11 GMT -5 specialk said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:17:00 GMT -5 flex said:

You may want to put a spider warning in your subject line. Just sayin'.

I can edit for that. I thought the setting the continent on fire thing was a bit of a warning, but yeah probably not enough to cover the monstrosities in here.

:Y:

[Bree Van de Kamp]

Sept 10, 2013 17:25:21 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

Oh. And this is for you jerks that reminded me of this horrifying gif. Which I had previously blocked from my memory.

[TrudyCampbell]

OMG I can never unsee that GIF!

[Deleted]

Oh fuck no!!! Fuck this whole fucking thread!!

[Jermys]

[azurely]

Ew. My desire to visit Australia just decreased significantly.

[chickenlittle]

I'm just reading this thread to prove to myself how badass I am.

Now I must go change my pants because I pissed them.

[Yankees21]

I was ok until I reached the gif. I died and will haunt nicbreeful forever.

[lightyears]

i hate this thread.

Attachment Deleted

[laddie]

Sept 10, 2013 15:29:45 GMT -5 specialk said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:29:04 GMT -5 mandy0810 said:

Scary stories to tell in the dark! I loved that book!

Yup, that's the one!

I still have it! Scary Stories 3. The story is "The Red Spot".

[firedancer49]

I will have nightmares tonight and it's because of all of you.

[pixelpassion]

[chittybangbang]

Also just to freak people out even more, the birds are kind of vicious here as well. Google Cassowary. It's kind of like an emu but it will fuck you up.

Edit - I just showed SO that photo and his direct quote was "Oh yeah. It's just a huntsman". You know, the usual.

[cinnamoncox]

Sept 10, 2013 15:03:26 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:02:40 GMT -5 tisevee said:

Are they really that big or this dramatization.

They are quite large when they are fully grown. 

I'm 5'3" and they were about the size of my hand.

OMG I am your height and I'll NEVER look at my hand the same way again

I want to weep

[cinnamoncox]

Sept 10, 2013 15:14:51 GMT -5 @fucksticklegit said:

Speaking of, yesterday I went out the back door to the garbage can to empty the vacuum canister. As I took it apart to empty it, the spring loaded top handle that locks it onto the vacuum popped off.


Right into what I call THE MOTHERFUCKING SPIDERTOPIA PIT OF DOOM that is currently this little area between the back of the house and the bins/grill/some patio furniture. It is completely swathed in spider webs. And I KNOW that at least half of them are probably black widow webs because they could act as a hammock for a large toddler without breaking. Like freaking steel I swear.

My initial reaction was this:



But then I realized the canister wouldn't stay on the vacuum without it. So I cried for a while then got the broom and spent five minutes trying to dislodge it from hell without having crazed spiders climb up the broomstick to eat my face off. I finally got it out of there and ran all hibbity jibbity into the house shrieking and flailing to make sure there were no spiders anywhere on me.


I'm plotting and planning as we speak to buy several 50 gallon drums full of horrific spider killing chemicals so I can just spray down the entire property and bring down my wrath upong them.

This sounds word for word exactly what I would have done.
Spiders can all diaf for real

[cinnamoncox]

Sept 10, 2013 15:32:51 GMT -5 tdk2 said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:03:55 GMT -5 Saint Monica said:

Muddled is right, though. The little ones are the deadly ones.

Huntsmen and mouse eating spiders are mainly freaky as hell to see but no deadly to us.

First night in oz, a huntsman the size of a dinner plate dropped from the ceiling and landed next to me while I was emailing my family to say I made it safely to oz. omg. Creepy.

Fuuuuuuck noooo!!!

And did u say mouse eating spider? What? No that's just....no

[cinnamoncox]

Sept 10, 2013 15:55:37 GMT -5 @tilbowski487 said:

Oh hell no! I don't even know why I came into this thread.

The last time I tried to be brave and kill a spider on my own (while 35 weeks pregnant) it TURNED AROUND and JUMPED at me. Um, nope. I swear you've never seen a pregnant woman move so fast.

Yeah dh and I were jumped at once by a spider we tried getting rid of
We still speak of the jumping spider and everytime I see one I'm convinced its a jumper
And this is in Boston, not the woods or wooded suburbs
Gross

[cinnamoncox]

2nd means of egress ftw!

[cinnamoncox]

Sept 10, 2013 17:14:22 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:38:56 GMT -5 firedancer49 said:

Wait, what?

Think those are bad?  You should check out the Goliath Bird Eaters. 



Fucking NOPE.  

Wtfffffff???
Nope is right
OMG nope x1000000!!!!!

[BaliHai]

Sept 10, 2013 15:32:51 GMT -5 tdk2 said:

First night in oz, a huntsman the size of a dinner plate dropped from the ceiling and landed next to me while I was emailing my family to say I made it safely to oz. omg. Creepy.

I really don't feel like I have a bug phobia, per se, but this story actually makes me want to die, so maybe I'm wrong.

[Deleted]

OMFG.. now I am itchy

[cinnamoncox]

Sept 10, 2013 17:24:08 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

Sept 10, 2013 17:21:41 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

Yeah it is!  Especially when it EATS A FUCKING BIRD!

haha..  I think I read something about these arriving on boats on the east coast.  They arrive in banana crates.








I'm kidding.  Hardeehar, right?  Insert annoying speshul Sims laugh.

Oh fuck cuz u said east coast and, oh shit cuz I live in Boston, and oh no oh gawd I have to move, then I saw it was a joke so ok breathe
Still shaking
That's a big bitch of a spider
Like I'm not sure I can fully comprehend the size of those oh I'm still shakin

[cinnamoncox]

Sept 11, 2013 9:38:59 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Sept 10, 2013 18:27:55 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

You know why they sent all the criminals to Australia? Because 97% of all living things there are trying to eat you. They didn't expect them to survive!

1. They weren't really 'criminals' mostly just poor Irish. Which was their only crime. 

2. Listen, if I had been living in dreary old England and you put me on a boat and dropped me on Bondi beach I would be writing home telling EVERYBODY to steal a loaf of bread and get sent down to Oz. LOL

I'm Irish and not true poor but def nest poor
I had two places I wanted to visit in my life time: Australia and Germany
I now have one place I want to visit
It's not the land of Oz
I do not care about any of the dangerous things besides the snakes and spiders
N o p e