Speaking of, yesterday I went out the back door to the garbage can to empty the vacuum canister. As I took it apart to empty it, the spring loaded top handle that locks it onto the vacuum popped off.
Right into what I call THE MOTHERFUCKING SPIDERTOPIA PIT OF DOOM that is currently this little area between the back of the house and the bins/grill/some patio furniture. It is completely swathed in spider webs. And I KNOW that at least half of them are probably black widow webs because they could act as a hammock for a large toddler without breaking. Like freaking steel I swear.
My initial reaction was this:
But then I realized the canister wouldn't stay on the vacuum without it. So I cried for a while then got the broom and spent five minutes trying to dislodge it from hell without having crazed spiders climb up the broomstick to eat my face off. I finally got it out of there and ran all hibbity jibbity into the house shrieking and flailing to make sure there were no spiders anywhere on me.
I'm plotting and planning as we speak to buy several 50 gallon drums full of horrific spider killing chemicals so I can just spray down the entire property and bring down my wrath upong them.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by Captain Serious on Sept 10, 2013 15:25:04 GMT -5
It can really freak you out to think of how many deadly animals live in Australia, but think of how few deaths by those animals you hear about. I saw a wild tarantula in Peru and no spiders in Australia, so...
When I was little, I read a collection of spooky stories and one of them involved spiders hatching out of a girl's face. From then on, I decided that all spiders must die. Even if they aren't harmful or poisonous I am still convinced they will try to lay eggs on my ear or some shit like that.
Scary stories to tell in the dark! I loved that book!
The big ones generally aren't the ones you need to worry about.
Muddled is right, though. The little ones are the deadly ones.
Huntsmen and mouse eating spiders are mainly freaky as hell to see but no deadly to us.
First night in oz, a huntsman the size of a dinner plate dropped from the ceiling and landed next to me while I was emailing my family to say I made it safely to oz. omg. Creepy.
Tdk, I would have run to the coast and fed myself to a shark. Or bashed my brains out on a coral reef. Or provoked a kangaroo into kicking me in the chest. What are other good ways to kill oneself in Australia? I'd try any of them.
Post by Bree Van de Kamp on Sept 10, 2013 15:51:09 GMT -5
Guys. GUYS. I just noticed a bunch of spiders and sacs have covered my top gutter right above my front door. I googled what it looks like when those things hatch. OMFG. WHAT DO I DO.
Post by open24hours on Sept 10, 2013 15:51:17 GMT -5
No. I am now very thankful that H and I picked somewhere other than Australia for our vacation next year.
I am still anxious from the spider sighting in my cubicle yesterday. I keep telling myself it moved on overnight, but I haven't fully convinced myself of that yet.