9/11 WWYD

[themoneytree]

One of our neighbors lost her husband in the 9/11 attacks.
She has a 9/11 memorial statue in her yard and her office is a shrine to 9/11. : (

Last year (the first year we were here and shortly after she had shown me around her office) I put a card in her mailbox on 9/11 saying I knew it was a difficult day for her and I was so sorry for her loss.
She never acknowledged it, but has been equally friendly since. I don't know whether to put a card in her mailbox again this year or just leave it be. I feel like if I do it might stir up feelings she would rather not have and if I don't I'm kind of ignoring her loss.

Any thoughts? Do I butt out or is it nice to send a simple acknowledgement?

[mrshabious]

Personally I would acknowledge it with a card. I believe it's a lovely gesture.

[housewife]

Since she shared the office with you, I would acknowledge it. I'm really awkward with things like that though because I am so afraid of making the other person uncomfortable. I would either continue with a card in her mail box that she can open in private/when she's ready or bake something and drop it off.

[RoxMonster]

I think it's a nice gesture and I agree with Sue to do a "thinking of you" type card as well.

[themoneytree]

Ok good. I would prefer to do something as saying nothing feels so wrong, but I was worried that saying something might seem intrusive.

When I saw her office I actually had no idea about her husband and I was thinking it was pretty odd - there are pictures of the buildings everywhere, pieces of metal from the site, earth from the site and a huge framed picture of faces of the victims making up the towers. Then she told me which face was her husband and I almost lost it. I just can't imagine the pain she must have gone through. Now she lives in a massive house by herself. : (

[whattheheck]

I was living in Manhattan and working for the City on 9/11 and know many people who were lost/lost someone on 9/11 - definitely do the card. Even if she doesn't acknowledge it, it is definitely appreciated. The card isn't going to stir up anything that isn't going to be stirred up anyway. It was a horrifying day that still gives me nightmares.

[lilafowler]

You're a good person with a good heart. ❤

[candreco]

Yes, just a thinking of you card. It's such a hard day for so many people, it's really nice of you to want to show her some support!