Feeling relieved

[ae6666]

I'm posting under an AE because DH doesn't like when I post personal stuff but I need to share it somewhere. After years of me suspecting DH had some borderline depression issues and me encouraging him to see someone, he finally pulled the trigger a month back and asked me to make an appointment. He has been going to counseling and really liking it, today went to the psychiatrist who diagnosed him with depression and ADHD.

Part of me is really sad for him, because I've been diagnosed with depression before and its scary. But part of me is really relieved that he finally has an answer and is on the road to getting healthy. He is an amazing person and we have a very good marriage, but there are some issues and things that have been affecting him a lot individually and us as a couple (his disorganization, his procrastination, he gets overwhelmed and frustrated with certain things very easily which sends him into a tailspin, when he gets frustrated he can be very fatalist and hates everything). I'm hoping this is going to make him a much happier person and will make our relationship with one another even stronger.

So relieved. Part of me feels guilty for not making him go sooner when I saw he was having issues, but part of me knows he had to do this on his own time when he was ready.

[mamasaurus]

Please tell me how you got him to go. I have been trying to get mine to see someone for years.

Hope it goes well!

[Bernadine]

I'm glad to hear he's getting help.

[scotty]

Glad that he got help! Hope it betters your relationship and his life.

[partiallysunny]

Yay! Your story seems very similar to mine. I'm so glad your H is getting help.

[ae6666]

Mamasaurus, I told him a few months back that I thought he had depression, I thought it was getting worse, I knew he was scared to go and find out, but the minute he decided he wanted to go to counseling to call me immediately and I would make the appointment for him. I had him give me all of his insurance info at that time and had a list of counselors nearby. It's taken a year for him to get to the point of even considering, although he has a family history of depression and has always displayed tendencies. I also offered to go with him.

A month back he just got really low and called me to say he needed to see someone immediately. I called my list and made the first available appointment, four days later. Once he went the counselor she got the ball rolling and made sure he makes a new appointment every time before he leaves, and made one for him with the psych. Once we got the appointments it was like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders, he goes to all his appointments and calls me immediately to talk about them because he actually likes going.

A year ago he was insistent he didn't need to go, I think it's something he had to come around to on his own terms. I always said, hey, if they say nothings wrong, at least you know for sure. I had offered to go with him to the first and will be going to some of the follow ups. Personally, I had great experiences in therapy and always talk about that with him, how much I liked it and how much I got out of it. I think he really just needed someone to make the appointment for him, and once we had it, it was easier for him to go then call and cancel.

What does your H say when you bring it up?

[ae6666]

Jun 21, 2012 12:27:17 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Yay! Your story seems very similar to mine. I'm so glad your H is getting help.

How has your H been doing since he started treatment?

I'm trying not to get my hopes unreasonably high but I am so so hopeful that this is the beginning of something really good for him.

[mamasaurus]

He usually denies being unhappy. Then I remind him of times he said how unhappy he is, and then it's about time or money. The real issue, I suspect, is that he doesn't want to have to put in the time and effort to change anything, or to admit he handles things the wrong way quite often.

I don't see why he is this way about it. He was with me through the hardest rounds of therapy I have done, and he saw me doing so much better because of it. He even helped me pay for it when I got a pay cut and thought I'd have to stop going, because he really believed I would regress then if I suddenly stopped it. I feel like I am only as good as I am today because of it, and I know he feels the same way. He gets into these "get into a funk, act like a jerk, feel awful for acting like a jerk, get into another funk from feeling awful" cycles; I don't see why he won't accept help breaking them. You think he'd get tired of it, you know?

[cleo29]

This is great!