How is the bolded for the parent? You think it is that they don't actually believe in the letting the children learn to self-comfort on their own, but more the parents not wanting to deal with the annoyance of hearing them cry? I don't really get where you are going with that one...I do think that most children will self-comfort abd self-wean before age 3. But what if they are not ready?
There are different kinds of "repercussions", not just crying. It was a blanket statement and I feel you are taking it a little too personal.
Of course I believe a parent can believe in letting a child learn to self-comfort.
I am very much a person who tries to go with my child's pace. Some kids handle change easily and some don't. Mine doesn't. He weaned from breast milk slowly and I'm weaning him from formula slowly. Everything I have done with him has been slow.
I equate it to people who have issues taking away a pacifier. It's easier to give the kid a pacifier then it is to deal with the repercusions of taking it away. It's easier to pop out your boob when your kid is pulling up your shirt then it is to refuse them.
Seriously? Instead of keeping your opinion to yourself you decide to basically call papie a shitty parent?
I didn't read all the responses. Either picture doesn't bother me. Beyond that, I agree with everything papie says. Haha. In all seriousness though, I am in the same situation. I'd like to start weaning- I want to work in the fall and I want to ttc( cycles aren't regular yet), but Henry isn't ready. I'd like as few tears as possible.
There are different kinds of "repercussions", not just crying. It was a blanket statement and I feel you are taking it a little too personal.
Of course I believe a parent can believe in letting a child learn to self-comfort.
I am very much a person who tries to go with my child's pace. Some kids handle change easily and some don't. Mine doesn't. He weaned from breast milk slowly and I'm weaning him from formula slowly. Everything I have done with him has been slow.
I equate it to people who have issues taking away a pacifier. It's easier to give the kid a pacifier then it is to deal with the repercusions of taking it away. It's easier to pop out your boob when your kid is pulling up your shirt then it is to refuse them.
Seriously? Instead of keeping your opinion to yourself you decide to basically call papie a shitty parent?
No? I don't think anyone is a shitty parent.
I was saying, I understand the concept of doing things at the childs pace.
And just because the issue is breastfeeding doesn't make it any more delicate than, say, taking away a pacifier.
I don't judge people who have a three year old who still needs a pacifier to fall asleep nor do I judge people who still breastfeed their three year old. I understand that weaning can be hard and taking away a pacifier can be hard. Do each at your own pace.
Sometimes I honestly do feel inferior to moms who are breastfeeding past a year old. My son turned one about three weeks ago and about one or two weeks ago, I had to stop because it was starting to stress me out every time he wanted to nurse. I no longer felt like it was bonding us, I felt like it was just habit. He cried the first time I wouldn't nurse him. And that still makes me sad to think about. It only took a couple of days and then he was fine with just a bottle.
But I can't help but admire papie, breastfeeding at 22 months still because her baby needs and wants it.
It makes me wonder if I gave up too soon and put my feelings about it over his needs.
Don't feel bad. My thing has always been "as soon as one of us doesn't want it" when it comes to weaning. Nursing, IMO, is a symbiotic thing. Both mom and baby have to want it and enjoy it. I personally, am coming to the end, I can feel it. I might not make it to 2, which is what I thought I'd originally do. Maybe i will change my mind, idk. Right now, I'd be happy to do just morning and evening sessions, but he still wants it around the clock. I don't.
Post by partiallysunny on Jun 21, 2012 13:49:34 GMT -5
All I can say is just because I believe someone is doing something as a parent that is for "them" doesn't mean I think they are a shitty parent. If you're not harming your child, who cares?
I delayed solids and LO most likely won't be weaned off of formula until he's 15 months. I didn't do those things because I thought they would benefit LO in any way. We did it because we thought going at LOs pace would be easier. We did it for us, because we like easy.
OK, I have a question about extended breastfeeding.
I've heard a lot of people say that women who breastfeed past 1, 2 or 3 years are doing it for themselves, rather than the benefit of the child. If this wasn't true and they really felt that breastmilk was best for their child at 3+ years of age, then why not pump and put it in a sippy cup? Can some women not pump?
This is an honest question with zero snark, fyi.. I know nothing about breastfeeding, so please no flames!
BFing is recommended until the age of 2 and is much more common in other countries. We're just kind of prudes about it.
For the record, both of my kids are formula fed.
This. Two.
No this photo isn't any less weird.
I also find 'other countries' a ridiculous statement, because in many countries, it's really not an option to FF.
I do not disagree that Americans are huge prudes and that this is basically what breasts are for.
But I'll be honest, by age three I find this to be totally disgusting unless it's the only means you have to procure nourishment for your kid. Like, hardcore nast.
BFing is recommended until the age of 2 and is much more common in other countries. We're just kind of prudes about it.
For the record, both of my kids are formula fed.
This. Two.
No this photo isn't any less weird.
I also find 'other countries' a ridiculous statement, because in many countries, it's really not an option to FF.
I do not disagree that Americans are huge prudes and that this is basically what breasts are for.
But I'll be honest, by age three I find this to be totally disgusting unless it's the only means you have to procure nourishment for your kid. Like, hardcore nast.
I might go to 2.5yrs. The girls still want to breastfeed a lot so I don't see them stopping soon. It could easily go to three...
Which is fine, because who really gives a shit what I think, for real.
I strongly disagree with the philosophy of letting your children dictate when things happen, that's me.
If you think I'm wrong, go on with your bad self.
I'm with you here. For me, doing it at their pace is exhausting for everyone.
Dd: boob to bottle, 2 days. She was pissed as hell but it was DONE in 48 hours. It was the same for DS going from formula in a bottle to milk in a sippy.
We had to take away DS's blanket because he sucked on it and it was shifting his bite. It took three hours. Three hours of crying, which was hell, but that was it.
I think extended nursing is awesome, so I wasn't bothered by the other picture. I was bothered by the "Are You Mom Enough" thing, but I fully realize that it's because I always planned to nurse and that didn't happen with either kid. It's my own neuroses.
Where are you getting this from and what do you mean by that?
biologically, kids are built to nurse until 5-7. breastmilk fills the gaps in an immune system that can't fully handle the job itself until five years old. breastmilk protects intestines that aren't fully formed until almost five.
Which is fine, because who really gives a shit what I think, for real.
I strongly disagree with the philosophy of letting your children dictate when things happen, that's me.
If you think I'm wrong, go on with your bad self.
I'm with you here. For me, doing it at their pace is exhausting for everyone.
Dd: boob to bottle, 2 days. She was pissed as hell but it was DONE in 48 hours. It was the same for DS going from formula in a bottle to milk in a sippy.
We had to take away DS's blanket because he sucked on it and it was shifting his bite. It took three hours. Three hours of crying, which was hell, but that was it.
This is how I am. I don't care how others do it but I can't do the let them decide the pace thing. It would make me miserable. Perhaps I am not mom enough lol. With Bfing we did it until it started to impact how I was enjoying my baby. Jack was weaned at 4 months and I was so happy afterwards not having a baby who wanted to be smooshed in my boob 24/7. I did enjoy it though. With Leo it is easier for me and I am more at ease. So my goal is 6 months. We shall see.
I'm with you here. For me, doing it at their pace is exhausting for everyone.
Dd: boob to bottle, 2 days. She was pissed as hell but it was DONE in 48 hours. It was the same for DS going from formula in a bottle to milk in a sippy.
We had to take away DS's blanket because he sucked on it and it was shifting his bite. It took three hours. Three hours of crying, which was hell, but that was it.
This is how I am. I don't care how others do it but I can't do the let them decide the pace thing. It would make me miserable. Perhaps I am not mom enough lol. With Bfing we did it until it started to impact how I was enjoying my baby. Jack was weaned at 4 months and I was so happy afterwards not having a baby who wanted to be smooshed in my boob 24/7. I did enjoy it though. With Leo it is easier for me and I am more at ease. So my goal is 6 months. We shall see.
Different strokes and all.
I think it is great if it works for you. I am annoyed at whatsherface above equates following the child's pace as laziness. It is a choice.
Post by partiallysunny on Jun 22, 2012 8:55:51 GMT -5
Lol, I never said it wasn't a choice.
I've done things in my limited scoop of parenting at my own schedule and at my child's schedule. In this limited experience, it was easier to do things at my child's pace than my own. I don't regret anything I did either way, because I did what was best for my family at the time.
I never said anyone is lazy. Making things easy is smart, not lazy.
I also find 'other countries' a ridiculous statement, because in many countries, it's really not an option to FF.
I do not disagree that Americans are huge prudes and that this is basically what breasts are for.
But I'll be honest, by age three I find this to be totally disgusting unless it's the only means you have to procure nourishment for your kid. Like, hardcore nast.
it's interesting because it can really come down to being a society vs. biology thing. biologically, kids are built to nurse until 5-7. breastmilk fills the gaps in an immune system that can't fully handle the job itself until five years old. breastmilk protects intestines that aren't fully formed until almost five. breastmilk is the ONLY source of polyunsaturated fats that aid in the development of an area of the brain that isn't fully formed until 5 or 6. if you notice, toddlers have teeny tiny noses!! their noses don't grow at the same rate as the rest of their bodies until the age of five SO THAT they can still nurse. sure, maybe it doesn't matter what happens in other countries, but i think we need to recognize that we have been socialized to reject the idea of older children nursing DESPITE the way they are naturally programmed to wean.
Wow, I did not know that. The built to nurse until 5-7 part, I mean.
I also find 'other countries' a ridiculous statement, because in many countries, it's really not an option to FF.
I do not disagree that Americans are huge prudes and that this is basically what breasts are for.
But I'll be honest, by age three I find this to be totally disgusting unless it's the only means you have to procure nourishment for your kid. Like, hardcore nast.
it's interesting because it can really come down to being a society vs. biology thing. biologically, kids are built to nurse until 5-7. breastmilk fills the gaps in an immune system that can't fully handle the job itself until five years old. breastmilk protects intestines that aren't fully formed until almost five. breastmilk is the ONLY source of polyunsaturated fats that aid in the development of an area of the brain that isn't fully formed until 5 or 6. if you notice, toddlers have teeny tiny noses!! their noses don't grow at the same rate as the rest of their bodies until the age of five SO THAT they can still nurse. sure, maybe it doesn't matter what happens in other countries, but i think we need to recognize that we have been socialized to reject the idea of older children nursing DESPITE the way they are naturally programmed to wean.
I'm glad you said this frkls, this is interesting. IMO and in the case of ebf, the societal norms are more important than the biological ideal. As an example, it's biologically optimal for girls to start having babies in their teens, but sociologically this is unacceptable and unsupportable.
Post by eightangryreindeer on Jun 22, 2012 15:16:33 GMT -5
Ugh I am right on the tip of something in my brain here about feminism...
What is biologically optimal for the species... What is societally optimal for a person whose survival of the species coup de grace is being a baby and milk machine...
Are the mommy wars much deeper than I originally thought...
Post by pedanticwench on Jun 22, 2012 15:17:00 GMT -5
It's one thing to BF until 5-7 years old if you live in an area where there is a meager food supply. Our ancestors did this with their children and other a lot of the other cultures that do it are in poor countries with little food supply.
That said, we live in a country that has an abundance of food, so biology and polyunsaturated fats aside, there really is no reason to physically breastfeed up until those ages.
In general, though, I don't give a shit what people do. But, if I see a woman BFing a 7 year old in Target you better believe I'm going to stare and wrinkle my nose.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente