Constant worry

[andthentherewere10]

I got a BFP by surprise (since we were told we needed IVF and didn't do it yet) about 2 weeks ago.  My first appt is this coming Monday.  Initially I had a few symptoms: thirst, breast tenderness, uterine cramping.

Now, I have no cramps, my breasts are less sore, I'm less thirsty and mostly just tired.  This all changed about Monday of this week.

For the past two weeks I've been super glum, pensive, and just plain worried.  I want this pregnancy so badly and want to be so excited about it but am consumed by worry.  I know there's nothing I can do but wait until Monday and I'm terrified of bad news since I just don't feel pregnant. 

[megkat]

I could have written this exact post. TTC for 14 months, told that due to severe male factor issues that our only option was IVF, and a surprise BFP a month later. Other than being super tired, and a tiny bit of heartburn, I have next to no symptoms. I had HCG levels done last week, and everything looked good, but I'm still constantly worried that something will go wrong. I think for me, it's that I feel like this is my only chance to have a baby, and if something happens with this pregnancy, I feel like I'll never get another chance.

For me, the only thing that has helped me relax at all so far is just reminding myself every day when I wake up that at least for right now, I'm pregnant. No matter what may happen, I'm just trying to enjoy these moments right now. Like getting to tell my husband that I was pregnant- I really didn't know if I would get that chance.

My first ultrasound is tomorrow, and I'm hoping that will help me relax a bit- but realistically, I think I'm just going to be a bit anxious throughout this. So no words of wisdom, but I completely understand what you are feeling!

[discogranny]

I know I'm kind of an interloper here, but I wanted to commiserate. When I was pregnant, I cried more and was sad more than I had ever been before just due to flat out worry. This was even after IVF, so we knew the pregnancy was (hopefully) coming. This is totally normal behavior in a pregnancy post-TTTC.

According to Internet wisdom, not having a ton of symptoms isn't a bad thing. You are early on and symptoms will develop. I think TTC for a long time jacks with us because we spend years looking for symptoms and convincing ourselves that these things we are feeling are symptoms. When we actually get pregnant we want more and feel like something isn't right unless we are puking 24/7 or can't even wear a bra from tender boobs. Really I just wanted to say that I hope your worry is for nothing and that you get good news on Monday.

[speyedr]

I had a m/c and CP prior to this pg and this one was acheived through multiple IUI attempts due to male factor. In the beginning I was always worried. Every time I went to the bathroom and wiped I was looking for and expecting blood. My first u/s at 8 weeks started to calm me down and finding the heartbeat via doppler at 9 1/2 weeks has really made me relax. I am 10 weeks today and am starting to finally enjoy this pregnancy. I also have had symptoms that disappeared early and never came back as well as new symptoms that showed up later. I hope that things get better for you and you are able to get to a place where you can enjoy the ride!

[Cheesecake]

I had the exact same until my first appointment (with u/s thank goodness!)
I was too scared of it going wrong to be happy. And ever since every time I am.super close to my next appointment I'm still worried that something will be wrong, even though baby is kicking non-stop.
But whenever I'm done at the doctor's, I feel great and happy and wonderful and I realize that right now, everything is perfect and just the way I want it to be.

Stay strong. We're all rooting for your baby!

Sent from my Xperia Z, please don't mind typos!

[kershnic]

I have had only some very mild intermittent symptoms. I should be 10w3d today, and have seen healthy heartbeats for twins at both 7w0d and 9w1d. This pregnancy came from my second IVF after many failed IUIs and a first IVF that ended in chemical pregnancy.

I'm still terrified and look for blood every time I wipe and interpret every twinge as possible miscarriage...from my own experience and reading of others on this board I think it's just the way of post-TTTC pregnancy. Good luck!

[andthentherewere10]

I had a meeting with my therapist tonight about this and she pretty much nailed me about it. So I'm trying to be really positive until Monday. Just a few more days! We've had nothing to indicate female fertility issues and I'm young so just hoping for the best news. Well, as my therapist would want me to say, expecting the best news!

[rugbywife]

I will be honest and say that sometimes I am worried, and sometimes I just refuse to be. I guess I would be more worried if I thought worrying would help me NOT lose...but I keep reminding myself that there is NOTHING I can do, NOTHING(!!!!) other than the things I am already doing. Not exercising is FUCKING KILLING ME. I feel so fat and soft and I have lost SO MUCH MUSCLE. Not drinking even one coffee a day sucks, I can't even have two hours where I am not exhausted at work. BUT, these are the only two things (along with not eating the salami I am desperately craving!) that will make any difference.

Once I hit 2nd trimester and start going back to crossfit I might start worrying now but based on the fact that I ALREADY look pregnant at 9 weeks, I imagine that I will end up limited in my ability to do most things. I will probably only exercise for month 4 and 5 and then I am sure I won't be able to lift anything anyways without toppling over, lol. We will see. I need to do SOMETHING because doing nothing is killing me.

But in general I refuse to worry, I am a natural worrying but I am really a believer that anxiety can be felt by the baby (I am sure this sounds asinine, it probably is). I just need to trust that whatever is meant to happen, will happen. This is partially why I can't make up my mind about all the different testing options we need to choose from.

[andthentherewere10]

We saw the hb today. The baby is measuring 5 weeks 6 days which is fine with my last menstrual period date that measures it at 6 w 3 days because I KNOW I ovulated late (we only had sex one time last month!). So. Anyway. Relieved and joyful. Another u/s for me in 2 weeks.

[ecinereb]

Glad you got good news!