How much to spend on shower/wedding gift?

[Deleted]

My BFF is getting married next month. I am helping to throw the shower and bachlorette party. Dress is paid for and hotel booked.

How much should I spend on the shower gift? Is $80 enough? Also, for the wedding we were going to give her $200 or $300? Is this appropriate?

FWIW, money is really tight for us right now (and she knows that) but I love her and would do anything for her!

What say you ML?

[iamgrace]

Yes, it's enough.

[melindafelinda]

No one gave us that much. So yes, plenty! =)

[leeann]

I think that's plenty for the wedding gift.

[ECB]

I don't know what's normal in your area.

I usually have a total budget for gifts and I'll split it between the shower and wedding gift. Honestly - the total budget iis probably $150 at the most. In my area/social group, we don't spend tons of money on these kinds of gifts.

[scotty]

Sh*t, I spend $50 for a shower gift.

*slides out of post*

[ECB]

And to add, I'm not really seeing how "doing anything for her" means anything in this situation. Base the gift amount on what you and DH can truly afford.

[kellbell191]

I'm spending about $2,000 when all is said and done to be in my BFFs wedding this Fall. She bought me a $25 gift for my shower and gave me a $50 GC when she was in my wedding, so we'll do the same. Money is tight here also and we have a ton of wedding this Summer, I've been told it isn't common/expected for attendants to give gifts b.c. they're paying all the costs associated with being in the wedding but I'm following her example and spending the same she did.

[Deleted]

I usually spend around $50 for a shower gift and about the same for a wedding gift unless I'm really close to them.

[Deleted]

OMG you guys, thank you! DH thought I was being cheap when I said $200 for a gift. This is a huge relief.

Also, for our wedding her parents were our photographers, and she paid for our entire album. She's super generous and such a kind person so I feel like I really want to make it special.

I also have to write a speech for her and I am a total loss of what to say. I don't know her FI that well but I love her to death. Funny is the way to go, right?

[kellbell191]

I think the speech will mean so much more to her than any gift. I would maybe type it up on nice paper and frame it as part of her gift.

[firedancer49]

Yes, that is plenty. I have a shower to go to this weekend and I am not very close to the couple anymore. I spent $40. Not sure about the wedding yet. They did not give us anything for our wedding, but I won't do that in return. We will probably do a gift for that as well, possibly a name sign with the established date, etc. We've given those as shower gifts in the past and everyone seems to love them.

[hubes]

The only people who gave us $200 for our wedding were millionaires.

[lazyphoque]

Jun 21, 2012 13:45:23 GMT -5 kellbell191 said:

I think the speech will mean so much more to her than any gift. I would maybe type it up on nice paper and frame it as part of her gift.

Dear lord, don't frame the speech. Where the hell would you put that? This would make me :-|

Write or type it out on stationary and slip it inside a special card just for her, just from you, if you want. Then she can keep it, which is nice, but not have to try to find a way to display it in her house so your feelings aren't hurt, which is awkward.

[honeybee]

This goes back to the whole regional thing I think...

My BFF's wedding is in september. I'll spend $100 on her shower gift and we'll likely give between $300-400 on the wedding gift. I've just been putting money aside monthly so we'd have it.

Again though all depends on where your from. My area this is normal, other areas its way overboard.

[melodramatic26]

Jun 21, 2012 13:59:09 GMT -5 honeybee said:

This goes back to the whole regional thing I think...

My BFF's wedding is in september. I'll spend $100 on her shower gift and we'll likely give between $300-400 on the wedding gift. I've just been putting money aside monthly so we'd have it.

Again though all depends on where your from. My area this is normal, other areas its way overboard.

this sounds insane and honestly, I wouldn't WANT my friends to have to put away money as a gift for us. I think that if that is the case, then the gift is a lot more about being as extravagant as possible and very little about the thought.

[honeybee]

Jun 21, 2012 15:19:10 GMT -5 melodramatic26 said:

Jun 21, 2012 13:59:09 GMT -5 honeybee said:

This goes back to the whole regional thing I think...

My BFF's wedding is in september. I'll spend $100 on her shower gift and we'll likely give between $300-400 on the wedding gift. I've just been putting money aside monthly so we'd have it.

Again though all depends on where your from. My area this is normal, other areas its way overboard.

this sounds insane and honestly, I wouldn't WANT my friends to have to put away money as a gift for us. I think that if that is the case, then the gift is a lot more about being as extravagant as possible and very little about the thought.

Its honestly expected. And its not like she's materialistic or would judge if we gave less. Our relationship is that of sisters and the closer you are the more you give, usually.

NJ area, $200 is usually the bare minimum gift for a couple attending a wedding.