I just want to scream!!

[Deleted]

WTMF!! UGH!!

I am in the middle of the stupidest fight with my mom and I seriously just want to slap her!!! UGH!!

I will try to keep this short.

Yesterday I call her when I am two lights from home to see how she is doing (step dad died last month). She is fine but then her next comment is to ask me for $5K. (um what?) The life insurance hasn't come in yet and she is worried she will run out of money before it comes (cue the tears from her). I make a comment that I don't have that kind of cash on hand but could get some for her but it would take abit. I then make a comment that she might ask Uncle X if she could borrow from him until the $ comes as he could get it quicker. Cue more tears and the rant about how he hates her, blah, blah, blah.. Then she starts to cry and whine about the fact that her bank account is below $1K for the first time IN YEARS!! :-(

That's when I got offended and she hung up on me. Then she sent me a kind of apology text. I sent her an email kind of along the lines of "thanks for the apology, we will get this figured out. The good news is that the money is coming from the insurance co eventually and this shouldn't last too long".

She emails back telling me that I "attacked her" during our phone call and that I haven't walked in her shoes and that I should be helping her. WTMF!!

I emailed her back and told her that we are having two completely different conversations and that hanging up on me is not what grown ups do. That I will help her in whatever capacity I can.

FFS!! I just want to scream!! :@ :@

I plan on going to gym and running 500 miles so I can go home and have 10 of these. :drink: :drink: :drink:

Oh and she has yet to even wish me a Happy Anniversary today. My mostly absent father remembered and even sent me an email and he just figured out this whole email thing.

[leeann]

This sucks, does she have other income coming in other than the insurance money?

[speckledfrog]

Dude, her H just died. I think you should cut her some slack

[Deleted]

I know your right but I am soo frustrated. It's like being 15 all over again!!

[pedanticwench]

If my H had just died a month ago, I don't think I would be on top of wishing anyone a happy anything.

I get that you're frustrated with her, but give her a little bit of a break.

eta: That's not to say you should just up and give her the money, but don't be so hard on her. Man, that's a tough situation.

[speckledfrog]

It is a sucky situation and it's hard to not get sucked in when emotions are high.

[alzi]

i am on your side. i know she is having a rough time, her H died - but it is not your obligation to help her financially. if you can, then that is very nice of you, but she should not demand it and guilt you into it.

what if you couldn't at all?

but i'm one of those people who thinks that just bc you are family does not make you entitled to things.

[Deleted]

Does this kind of argument happen a lot between the two of you?

[Nicole]

Jun 21, 2012 16:51:19 GMT -5 alzi said:

i am on your side. i know she is having a rough time, her H died - but it is not your obligation to help her financially. if you can, then that is very nice of you, but she should not demand it and guilt you into it.
what if you couldn't at all?

but i'm one of those people who thinks that just bc you are family does not make you entitled to things.

I agree with Alzi.

[Deleted]

Every once in awhile it happens, we always make up and it is never over money.

My mom is known for flying off the handle, getting upset at the wrong thing and sending you the 1 a.m. rant email. In my early 20's late teens we rarely had much contact as I couldn't deal with her. I have since decided I want her in my life and will deal with the craziness. My DH thinks she should be medicated and I agree. She is soo giving and awesome but man, when she goes there, she REALLY GOES THERE!

[Deleted]

That sucks, my mom can be the same way. Giving and thoughtful, then crazy and selfish the next second (I'm not trying to say that YOUR mom is selfish- I just understand the shifts).

I agree that she's probably under a lot of stress from grieving, but I also agree that you shouldn't be guilt-tripped.

I'm sorry
But happy anniversary!

[Deleted]

Thanks Snicker, I feel better talking about it with you guys. I'm just going to let it slide and carry on!

[Deleted]

I typically don't either but my mom is usually the only one who remembers. The fact that my dad who sometimes forget's my birthday (mine is the day after his) remembered, and she did not, just kind of threw me.

[Deleted]

right up until the anniversary thing i was all "wow, poor tarzan. tough spot. i hope she can work it out with her mom, and that her mom chills out." the anniversary thing has me doing a scooby doo baroo. i mean, who the hell cares if your mom remembers your anniversary ANY year, much less a month after her husband died.

i get the "and another thing!" mentality when you're already pissed, though.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I hear you guys. I'm over it. :-)

[hisno1girl]

Tarzanswife, please don't get mad but your subject line + your name made me think of this:



LOL!

[melindafelinda]

You said you forgot today was your own anniversary. Or was that just a ploy in order to AW yourself?

[Deleted]

I posted that when I first got up this a.m.. I was tired and thinking about today's date and then it ocurred to me. DH and I didn't even discuss it when we went to bed last night. We have just been married too long. :-)

[Deleted]

His- I wish I could see the video but work blocks all video's and every time I try to load it on the app it crashes. :-(

[melindafelinda]

I just think it was kind of crap reaction to have to someone who is dealing with such a recent loss. Try to have more patience.

[Deleted]

I hear you Melinda and you guys are right. I have since apologized to her and we have made up. Thanks to everyone for helping me see the light. I got all worked up like a raging teen there for a bit.

[melindafelinda]

Ok, I forgive you.

[livinitup]

At worst she's lying and saying you "attacked her" to be an guilt-tripping asshole. At best, she really felt attacked becuase she's wacky right now.

Maybe just think the best -she's wacky right now.

There may even be some serious finacial issues, too. Best to explore those - if you can.

[underwaterrhymes]

I do think you should cut her some slack, but I think you handled it very well.

ETA - But I agree that you shouldn't worry about her remembering your anniversary.

[hisno1girl]

Tarzanswife, it was just a YouTube clip of Johnny Weissmuller doing the Tarzan yell/scream