Do you get any value out of the friendship? If not then cut her loose. Nobody wants to take care of a drunk friend especially when it's one with a potential drinking problem.
You know, I did. And she would do anything if I needed it. She has such a good heart but the drinking is taking a toll. Like she legits goes from us having a glass of win to falling face first on the floor. Dude she's about to 29. I'm 27. I don't go out to the clubs that often and I don't even really drink when I do. I just want to have fun sometimes, not baby sit. I don't think I'm getting that much out of it anymore.
Post by sunshineray on Sept 23, 2013 9:50:41 GMT -5
Beanie, you know I love you. This so called friend is toxic. I don't think you're being shitty if you stop hanging out with her as much. Maybe just daytime stuff for a bit to see if she can keep it together. If not, then I'd maybe say something again, but it doesn't really seem worth it to me. I was over it the second she tried to hold your BF's hand and then got all defensive about it. That's bullshit and you know it. You don't need this type of person in your life with everything else you've got going on.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister and uncle, and glad that they're both on the road to recovery. ((Hugs)) I'm just a phone call/text away it you need anything.
Totally agree. And I've tried. I think that's why I'm just drained. We go to the beach, she finds a bar, our movies sell liquor, our amusement park sells beers, our outlet malls, comedy clubs, Dave and busters. I didn't even realize there's so much alcohol everywhere. So say I have another talk with her what do I say? If we go out durning the day you can't drink. I just feel like this is a lot of work with little return lately. Just tell me I'm not being an asshole by ditching somebody who has issues, cause only she can truly help herself. Right?
I would tell her you had a big problem with her behavior this weekend and that you can't be around her if she's going to drink to that level and act like that. Then, make non-drinking plans with her and see what she does. A reasonable person (and good friend) would skip the booze at traditionally non-drinking occasions for a loooong time after getting that feedback.
If she goes from tipsy to drunk in 5 minutes while you are watching she is using drugs. No question. That said, I am not sure I believe she was just tipsy b/c it sounds like your boyfriend was also passed out.
My friend once offered DH a BJ while she was drunk. So to answer your original question, I wouldn't be upset. My tolerance for drunk antics is high. But that's me.
Seriously... you cannot drink with this friend. Don't take her places where booze is served. Tell her you don't like hanging out with her in conjunction with booze. Then start inviting her to museums, hikes, picnics, movies, shopping trips ect. ect. ect.
If she won't come than she probably has a problem & it's not just that she's a huge party girl who hasn't realized its not cute anymore.
If she goes from tipsy to drunk in 5 minutes while you are watching she is using drugs. No question. That said, I am not sure I believe she was just tipsy b/c it sounds like your boyfriend was also passed out.
My friend once offered DH a BJ while she was drunk. So to answer your original question, I wouldn't be upset. My tolerance for drunk antics is high. But that's me.
Uh my bf wasn't drunk. He had two beers. I would say if he was but not durning a day time cookout, while taking care if his father. Not the time or place. And I think asking to give your DH a blowjob is crossing the line. No?
Once again, thanks for the advice. I'm going to have 1 more talk with her and try hanging with absolutely no drinking and if it can't be done, I'll have to be done.
I read the thread, but already forget if this has been said. What about new medications that she's on?
If you could say something, that would be good, even if you have to distance yourself. My tolerance for drunken nonsense is also high, but trouble is brewing here.
If she's going from zero to drunk in .5 seconds, trust me she's got a bottle in her purse or in the hamper or whatever.
Yep, my friend that was like this is like a booze ninja. She will be fine, then she's wasted and acting like an ass but no one knows why. Then I find 3/4 of my vodka missing from the bottle hours later but no one saw her drink it.
If she's going from zero to drunk in .5 seconds, trust me she's got a bottle in her purse or in the hamper or whatever.
Yep, my friend that was like this is like a booze ninja. She will be fine, then she's wasted and acting like an ass but no one knows why. Then I find 3/4 of my vodka missing from the bottle hours later but no one saw her drink it.
Yes this is her. It's legit oh one glass of wine and then she falls out the car. Like wtf happened here. My tolerance is not high like some others.
If you suspect someone being an alcoholic isn't the second step after talking to them don't encourage drinking with them?
I'm confused.
Well, it sounds like her friend is finding alcohol wherever they go. You can't really stop her. I mean, you can refuse to hang out with her when she drinks but that's about it.
Pretty much. I was like lets go to the amusement park (figure rides and beer don't really mix) I went to the bathroom..came out. Beer in each hand. Woohooo not