Shitty 5 days.. Friend who drinks to much

[Deleted]

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[Deleted]

Um, I would be done with this friend. Especially if this is a newish friendship.

[idoinjuly]

I would drop her ass like a hot potato. You don't need friends like that.

[karmasabiotch]

Do you get any value out of the friendship? If not then cut her loose. Nobody wants to take care of a drunk friend especially when it's one with a potential drinking problem.

[tripleshot]

I'm sorry that sucks. You are not overreacting. I'd have a conversation about all those details and how it made you feel. I would probably not be around her anymore if there's alcohol involved. I have a low tolerance for that kind of BS.

[Deleted]

Yes, seriously cut back time spent with her, and when you do hang out... no drinking.

Sorry you had a tough weekend.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

I would stop hanging out with teenagers.

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2013 9:02:39 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

She was drunk, and you put her in your car and took her out to get more drunk. Why did you do this?

When we left, she was only tipsy. And we said we were going to eat and sleep. We had 6 hours in between leaving her house and going out. She went from tipsy to wasted so quickly.

[papie]

How old are you all? Because I'm having a hard time relating to any of this.

[CurlyQ284]

Not petty. No one wants to be a babysitter. I had a friend like this, she still texts to get together every few months. Nope. Who needs this drama?

[papie]

Sept 23, 2013 9:05:18 GMT -5 @bean said:

Sept 23, 2013 9:02:39 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

She was drunk, and you put her in your car and took her out to get more drunk. Why did you do this?

When we left, she was only tipsy. And we said we were going to eat and sleep. We had 6 hours in between leaving her house and going out. She went from tipsy to wasted so quickly.

So she was only tipsy when she showed her thong and vag to your boyfriend?

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2013 9:03:46 GMT -5 karmasabiotch said:

Do you get any value out of the friendship? If not then cut her loose. Nobody wants to take care of a drunk friend especially when it's one with a potential drinking problem.

You know, I did. And she would do anything if I needed it. She has such a good heart but the drinking is taking a toll. Like she legits goes from us having a glass of win to falling face first on the floor. Dude she's about to 29. I'm 27. I don't go out to the clubs that often and I don't even really drink when I do. I just want to have fun sometimes, not baby sit. I don't think I'm getting that much out of it anymore.

[soozy87]

I would not be friends with her.

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2013 9:07:59 GMT -5 papie said:

Sept 23, 2013 9:05:18 GMT -5 @bean said:

When we left, she was only tipsy. And we said we were going to eat and sleep. We had 6 hours in between leaving her house and going out. She went from tipsy to wasted so quickly.

So she was only tipsy when she showed her thong and vag to your boyfriend?

I don't even know. I seriously think she went in the bathroom and had some drinks like 10 mins before we left because she went from oh feeling nice, few giggles. To driving for 15 minutes, legs on the seats.

[Booze Raccoon]

I wouldn't ditch a friend who had a drinking problem, I'd do what I could to help them. But for you, I'd tell your friend you aren't interested in hanging out with her when she is drinking.

[papie]

Sept 23, 2013 9:09:26 GMT -5 @bean said:

Sept 23, 2013 9:03:46 GMT -5 karmasabiotch said:

Do you get any value out of the friendship? If not then cut her loose. Nobody wants to take care of a drunk friend especially when it's one with a potential drinking problem.

You know, I did. And she would do anything if I needed it. She has such a good heart but the drinking is taking a toll. Like she legits goes from us having a glass of win to falling face first on the floor. Dude she's about to 29. I'm 27. I don't go out to the clubs that often and I don't even really drink when I do. I just want to have fun sometimes, not baby sit. I don't think I'm getting that much out of it anymore.

I would just stop hanging out with her that way.  If you value the friendship, grab a coffee with her in the morning or afternoon once in a while.  But you know going out to drink will be a disaster, so do that with other friends.  

[leeann]

If you have a history of her being a good friend, you could try to discuss this stuff with her when she's sober. If she argues with you/doesn't want help/doesn't see an issue with her actions - ditch her poste haste.

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2013 9:09:04 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Well, you say "whole time she was drunk". She exposed her vag in the back seat of your car, hit on your boyfriend, and had her leg up over into the front seat and then ran in your house and let your dog out as soon as you told her not to. When was the tipsy part, and was she using drugs and drinking in your car on the way to your house? And how come your bf was crashed in the back seat?

You don't need friends like this; drop her.

Looking back now, I see clearly she was drunk. I'm saying she seemed fine about 10 minutes before we left. Like just feeling a buzz but still herself. Then it went 0-6. Bf was crashed because we had a really long and stressful week. Not a lot of sleep, two beers and a ton of food.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I'd also like to know how old you guys are. This girl sounds like she's maybe 21.

But, regardless, just stop hanging out with her. Easy as that.

[cuddlyevil]

She wouldn't be my friend any more.

[karmasabiotch]

Sept 23, 2013 9:09:26 GMT -5 @bean said:

Sept 23, 2013 9:03:46 GMT -5 karmasabiotch said:

Do you get any value out of the friendship? If not then cut her loose. Nobody wants to take care of a drunk friend especially when it's one with a potential drinking problem.

You know, I did. And she would do anything if I needed it. She has such a good heart but the drinking is taking a toll. Like she legits goes from us having a glass of win to falling face first on the floor. Dude she's about to 29. I'm 27. I don't go out to the clubs that often and I don't even really drink when I do. I just want to have fun sometimes, not baby sit. I don't think I'm getting that much out of it anymore.

I'm letting go of a friendship too.  She had been my BFF for many years and then just a friend because she changed so much and now there just isn't anything there anymore.  It's hard to cut someone loose when you have a past with them.

Also, go to court for the speeding ticket.  If you haven't ever got one you can usually plead it down to impeading traffic and just pay a fine and not get any points.  I'm not an attorney.  This isn't leagl advice.

[Deleted]

Thanks for the advice guys. Like I know she crossed the line and I didn't truly over react. The only thing I'm confused about is, I know a huge part is the Drinking. I feel like an asshole being like ' your a drunk.. Peace in out" clearly nicer then that but basically that.

[Deleted]

Huh.

[BaliHai]

Agree with the others that I would distance myself/only ask her to go out for brunch or to hang out in the afternoon and in other non-drinking environments. You can talk to her about her drunken behavior if you feel it would have an impact on her, but you won't be able to help her with her blossoming drinking issue if she thinks she doesn't need it, and, frankly, you don't need to be babysitting a 29 year old.

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2013 9:12:49 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Sept 23, 2013 9:11:21 GMT -5 @bean said:

I don't even know. I seriously think she went in the bathroom and had some drinks like 10 mins before we left because she went from oh feeling nice, few giggles. To driving for 15 minutes, legs on the seats.

Sounds more like drugs mixed with alcohol. 

I've thought about this too.

[juliagoulia]

I don't know, step 1 for me would be; Don't got out with friend who you think has a problem with alcohol, so she can drink. That seems like enabling to me? If you want to spend time with her and maintain your friendship- find ways to do it that don't involve you being a DD for her. She seems like a mess and I wouldn't even almost want to put up with that BS.

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2013 9:21:25 GMT -5 juliagoulia said:

I don't know, step 1 for me would be; Don't got out with friend who you think has a problem with alcohol, so she can drink. That seems like enabling to me? If you want to spend time with her and maintain your friendship- find ways to do it that don't involve you being a DD for her. She seems like a mess and I wouldn't even almost want to put up with that BS.

Totally agree. And I've tried. I think that's why I'm just drained. We go to the beach, she finds a bar, our movies sell liquor, our amusement park sells beers, our outlet malls, comedy clubs, Dave and busters. I didn't even realize there's so much alcohol everywhere. So say I have another talk with her what do I say? If we go out durning the day you can't drink. I just feel like this is a lot of work with little return lately. Just tell me I'm not being an asshole by ditching somebody who has issues, cause only she can truly help herself. Right?

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2013 9:32:50 GMT -5 @bean said:

Sept 23, 2013 9:21:25 GMT -5 juliagoulia said:

I don't know, step 1 for me would be; Don't got out with friend who you think has a problem with alcohol, so she can drink. That seems like enabling to me? If you want to spend time with her and maintain your friendship- find ways to do it that don't involve you being a DD for her. She seems like a mess and I wouldn't even almost want to put up with that BS.

Totally agree. And I've tried. I think that's why I'm just drained. We go to the beach, she finds a bar, our movies sell liquor, our amusement park sells beers, our outlet malls, comedy clubs, Dave and busters. I didn't even realize there's so much alcohol everywhere. So say I have another talk with her what do I say? If we go out durning the day you can't drink. I just feel like this is a lot of work with little return lately. Just tell me I'm not being an asshole by ditching somebody who has issues, cause only she can truly help herself. Right?

um, well, right now you're essentially enabling her by acting as DD for your apparently 19 year old, emotionally stunted "friend" who you don't actually like.  so no, it's not mean to ditch someone because she's an obnoxious drain on your energy.

[vanillacourage]

Sept 23, 2013 9:32:50 GMT -5 @bean said:

Sept 23, 2013 9:21:25 GMT -5 juliagoulia said:

(redacted for brevity)

Totally agree. And I've tried. I think that's why I'm just drained. We go to the beach, she finds a bar, our movies sell liquor, our amusement park sells beers, our outlet malls, comedy clubs, Dave and busters. I didn't even realize there's so much alcohol everywhere. So say I have another talk with her what do I say? If we go out durning the day you can't drink. I just feel like this is a lot of work with little return lately. Just tell me I'm not being an asshole by ditching somebody who has issues, cause only she can truly help herself. Right?

I would tell her you had a big problem with her behavior this weekend and that you can't be around her if she's going to drink to that level and act like that. Then, make non-drinking plans with her and see what she does. A reasonable person (and good friend) would skip the booze at traditionally non-drinking occasions for a loooong time after getting that feedback.

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2013 9:36:09 GMT -5 cville said:

Sept 23, 2013 9:32:50 GMT -5 @bean said:

Totally agree. And I've tried. I think that's why I'm just drained. We go to the beach, she finds a bar, our movies sell liquor, our amusement park sells beers, our outlet malls, comedy clubs, Dave and busters. I didn't even realize there's so much alcohol everywhere. So say I have another talk with her what do I say? If we go out durning the day you can't drink. I just feel like this is a lot of work with little return lately. Just tell me I'm not being an asshole by ditching somebody who has issues, cause only she can truly help herself. Right?

um, well, right now you're essentially enabling her by acting as DD for your apparently 19 year old, emotionally stunted "friend" who you don't actually like.  so no, it's not mean to ditch someone because she's an obnoxious drain on your energy.

Well when you say it like that! I'm doing that thing , where I'm making excuses, like we have so much fun when she's sober but really it's been awhile. I don't know why I've been holding on.