Then color me impressed that even on your worst day of parenting, that you never had a thought that you did not act on, about doing something or saying something irrational to your kids or someone else's kid. Bravo.
Post by peachykate on Sept 25, 2013 13:05:39 GMT -5
The stuff that has run through my head since having Jax would be appalling to a few, apparently.
We were at the park last week and this little 4 year old shit was picking on Jax. The third time he looked at me and smiled and then pinched his arm and shoved him. The dad was too busy on his phone to pay attention so I grabbed kid a d we left the park. As we were walking away I told DH I wanted to slap that kid upside the head. Clearly I would me do it but I still think it.
This is exactly what I am thinking. I already hate it when older kids wont let her play with them. She doesn't understand yet, but one day she will and THEN WHAT??This is going to be such a struggle.
I'm glad I found this post. David came home crying because Michael doesn't want to be his friend. This kid has been in his class every year and does not like David for whatever reason. I first realized this at a birthday party last year when I saw him and said "go say hi to your friend" and he said "David is NOT my friend." And David started crying and said "why he say he's not my friend??" OMG, I swear to god, I almost started crying I felt so bad for him. I just said, "well, if he doesn't want to be your friend, then go find someone who does." But suesue's Hand That Rocks The Cradle comment really hit close to home!
I agree with PP that said you have to have thicker skin so they have thicker skin. When David came home crying I just told him Michael is a little grumpy sometimes and that he's an awesome kid and if someone doesn't want to be your friend, then go find someone else to play with blah blah blah.
I'm glad I found this post. David came home crying because Michael doesn't want to be his friend. This kid has been in his class every year and does not like David for whatever reason. I first realized this at a birthday party last year when I saw him and said "go say hi to your friend" and he said "David is NOT my friend." And David started crying and said "why he say he's not my friend??" OMG, I swear to god, I almost started crying I felt so bad for him. I just said, "well, if he doesn't want to be your friend, then go find someone who does." But suesue's Hand That Rocks The Cradle comment really hit close to home!
I agree with PP that said you have to have thicker skin so they have thicker skin. When David came home crying I just told him Michael is a little grumpy sometimes and that he's an awesome kid and if someone doesn't want to be your friend, then go find someone else to play with blah blah blah.
See, and my response would have been "Because Michael is lame and boring and a big loser. Screw that dude."
I wish people would stop acting like children are these innocent little fairy creatures that aren't ever little shitbags. Seriously. She didn't say she wanted to backhand him across the room. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have pulled the kid's hair and called him ugly. There have been times when I have wanted to tell a screaming child in Target to shut the fuck up and also Santa isn't real you little turd but that doesn't mean I do it.
Fucking hell, man.
I am actually probably the last person on earth who acts like children are precious and never do anything wrong. My kids are assholes freqently, we're working on it.
I actually DO have a son who gets teased and picked on all the time and even through all if it, I've never wanted to grab a kid by the hair.
Obviously I'm in the minority, so whatever.
An urge is not an OTT reaction, because there is the word "action" nicely tucked into "reaction", mmmmk?
And anyone who is about to put a pukey kid into their car gets to be crabby and assume the worst of all of the people.
Post by dragonfly08 on Sept 25, 2013 14:37:02 GMT -5
As the mother of a kid who repeated K (a decision her dad and I made after realizing she was floundering in 1st grade)...yeah, it's hurtful to hear things like that but you have to let it go. Kids can be cruel. And even those who aren't are just unflinchingly honest at times. My DD has a friend who is in no way mean, who for some reason asked her just yesterday "are you in kindergarten AGAIN?"
The whole retention thing bothered me a lot more than it ever bothered DD. I felt like a bad mom, I worried she'd be teased or wouldn't understand. But she surprised me by being being really accepting of it, and any time someone mentioned it she just told them she "needed more time to cook". And it helps that she clearly sees the benefit, now that she's in first grade, on the older side rather than being the youngest (late August bday with September cutoff here), and handling it.
I won't say it was wrong to think "wtf?" and want to defend you kid. But IMO it doesn't mean that kid is a brat or destined to be a bully, and it's not worth worrying about in the long run. My response would either have been to just keep walking, or to brightly say "Sure is!".
Good luck to your DD! She's very lucky to have parents who are willing to make hard decisions like this when they're needed. So many parents would have just pushed their child ahead to avoid dealing with it even when retention is/was the better option.
OP, I hope your kiddo feels better soon and doesn't take that little jerkface's comments to heart. Hopefully he wasn't actually making fun of her and, as someone else said, was just using the fact that she was held back as an identifier. Her name isn't uncommon, after all.
That said, I totally get wanting to punt the kid. Man. When my son's feelings are hurt it breaks my damn heart, and I'm not a softie. I have to fight the urge to school kids on appropriate behavior, though I often fail. My nephew is a little shit and is often the worst offender. It feels like he is constantly making my little kiddo feel bad. He knows all the things so he is quite argumentative. We don't get along so well.
A kid on DD's soccer team made fun of DD, in a laughing, snotty voice, for being the "worst player" on the team and how no one should pass the ball to DD, etc.
When I heard this, I had an immediate visual of me slamming the soccer ball I was holding in the brat's face. I ended up telling the kid something to the effect of good sportsmanship does not consist of making fun of other players.
The kid just rolled her eyes at me. I wanted to trip her as she skulked away.
OP, your reaction makes complete sense to me.
I cannot believe kids are saying this stuff in front of the parent of the child they are mocking. WTF? I feel like things have changed a lot. I just can't imagine what I would say to this. OMG.
Post by brickhouse on Sept 25, 2013 15:21:31 GMT -5
It would have hurt my feelings. I'm pretty sensitive to this kind of stuff too. We kept DS back this year, repeating pre-k. I'm constantly worried he will be labeled as "the kid that got held back" too. I totally get your rage, and I would have shot a dirty look as well. But then again, I don't care for other people's children, so there's that.
A kid on DD's soccer team made fun of DD, in a laughing, snotty voice, for being the "worst player" on the team and how no one should pass the ball to DD, etc.
When I heard this, I had an immediate visual of me slamming the soccer ball I was holding in the brat's face. I ended up telling the kid something to the effect of good sportsmanship does not consist of making fun of other players.
The kid just rolled her eyes at me. I wanted to trip her as she skulked away.
OP, your reaction makes complete sense to me.
What?! How old is your dd? A kid rolled their eyes at you? Did you pluck them from her skull??
No way would I have let this go. I would have busted out in a full on teacher lecture with pointing, a stern voice and a hearty "Do you understand?" to wrap it up.
What I did and what I wanted to do were 2 very different things. I would never call a kid ugly, ever. But I'm dreading Mia being teased about this, and her diabetes, etc. I have zero tolerance toward little shits.
The truth is she probably will be made fun of for being held back. Kids realize it and will think she's not smart, whether that is true or not. It was a big deal at my school if someone got held back. I would talk to her now and be upfront about it, and teach her ways to respond to other kids making fun of her for it. I would emphasize at home about how intelligent she is. That little boy did have some balls to say that in front of another adult though, what a little jerk.
Both of my kids have friends that have been held back and it really isn't a big deal. Maybe it was then, but 5 years later, no one thinks anything odd about it. It just is. I really wouldn't worry about it being something that sticks with her forever.
DS1's best friend got held back in 3rd grade and now he's friends with half of the middle school, because he knows them all. DS2 has a friend that was held back in kindergarten and no one really even remembers. He's just in 5th grade now, simple as that.
I get being upset about someone pointing at your kid and saying anything but good. I understand your WTF? attitude and would feel the same way. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of it to your daughter. If it were me, I might say something about it, but I would keep it light, like letting her know she can tell you if people do say mean things, about anything.
What?! How old is your dd? A kid rolled their eyes at you? Did you pluck them from her skull??
No way would I have let this go. I would have busted out in a full on teacher lecture with pointing, a stern voice and a hearty "Do you understand?" to wrap it up.
Fuck.
I secretly LOVE it when my teacher friends school someone else's kid in public. It's awesome.
Some kid told G she wasn't allowed to use the slide today. I was about to say something and then I looked around and there were four more that looked just like her. That poor Mom had two sets of twins and then this brat. I had to let it go out of solidarity, lol. This is apropos of nothing.
Is it bad that I feel like I'm allowed to discipline other people's children simply because I'm a teacher? I haven't actually done it yet, but its bound to happen. And when I get shit from a parent, like "Don't talk to my kid like that!" I'm going to brush it off and be like "Oh no, you don't understand- I'm a teacher! Totes ok to yell at your shitty kid!"
Kids are jerks...my own kid told her friend that her sister (who is 6) still wets the bed, right in front of me tonight. That's a dick move for an almost 9yr old. I gave her a dirty look and told her that's not something you tell people. I still am gonna bring it up to her & tell her what a jerk she was for blabbing that (she knows its embarrassing). I'm not surprised a kid would say something about another kid being held back & I'd totally give the kid a look for doing it too. You did nothing wrong IMO.