Based on ^that^ information alone, I'd say it's okay to skip the wedding. It sounds like you are at different places in your life now. Just tell her that your DH has a work thing and your attendance is required, so unfortunately, you won't be able to attend but you wish her well.
Also, if she makes noises about you missing her wedding, tell her Jesus wants you to be with her husband.
/snort
LOL I'm assuming this is a typo, but it was too awesome to not mention.
Yeah. Typo. I really don't think Jesus wants her to be with her friend's husband.
You said you wouldn't go anyway even if Vegas wasn't on the table. I'm confused why there is any question here. And if she's an OOT "friend," just rsvp no with a note that says you have a prior engagement for which you'll be out of state but you wish her the best. Pretty gift and end scene.
Our just donate to some mission/charity in her name and say you were going to buy her all the things, but you realized her day is about God, not gifts. Heh
Actually, the thing most Born Again Christians try to do is bring others into the fold. They are usually all about having us "sinners" join them in church related stuff to show us the evil of our ways. It sounds to me like she's not a very good Christian.
It sounds like the only reason you expected to be in her wedding is because she was in yours, not because you're all that close. You dont like the way she's become, you dont agree with her super religious change of lifestyle, and you're not very close anymore. Go with your husband. Easy.
Great points thanks for your insight. That's what I am worried about is that our friendship would be completely over (although its barely hanging on as it is) if I do not go. She just sent out the invitations and I haven't told her either way yet. I'm trying to put myself in her shoes and think about if I'd be devastated over an old out of town friend not being able to make it?
In this case, I'd play tourist with regard to her faith (and use her "I only want godly people around me") , and send an RSVP that says something like "Oh, Sally! I am so happy to hear of your wedding. I am not familiar with the customs of your faith and am so grateful for your invitation but I don't want to intrude on your day or make anyone uncomfortable. Please know you have my very best wishes for a long and happy marriage! We've been friends for a long time and I wish you every happiness. Call me when you get back from the honeymoon! I'd love to take you to lunch. Love, KB"
Then, get her something really smashing, and see if the bitch is godly enough to send you a thank you note, and enjoy your time in Vegas.
if you attend this wedding you'll be miserable...definitely go to Vegas
p.s. I have a similar friend situation, DH told me usually when the pendulum swings so drastically in one direction it will eventually swing back to the middle, so it might take your friend a few years to even out (hopefully)