Please come tell me about your toddler

[meganew]

And how the "mine!" and tantrum phase only lasted a short while? Please?

Ollie use to be so chill- when the kids across the street would take toys from him, he'd just go "eh, whatever" and find something else to play with. Now it's flipping out, screaming, crying, laying on the floor.

I know he's testing us. Everything is the opposite- "I want a pouch, please!" Bring him a pouch "No, banana!" Get him banana "Noooo, pooouuuuch!" Wtf?

It's definitely worse at night, but the snatching things and saying "mine" and then telling H and I to "stop it!" needs to end. Tell me what to do, because right now my go-to is just pouring myself some wine. Lol

[meganew]

Oh, but look at him:

[ginger]

I tell M , "you asked for a pouch, and that is what you're having. Let me know when you're ready." Then I walk away with it. The tantrum stops pretty fast.

But then there are the times I forget that exists and we go through the whole rigmarole. Lately I remember more than I forget though.

I hope it's a short phase for Ollie! Has his routine changed recently? New teacher/classroom if he's in daycare? M ALWAYS sprouts devil horns when her routine is interrupted. END.OF.THE.WORLD.

[muffin0]

Two years and holding, it's definitely better now that she understands it's unacceptable but she still tries. We are getting to that point with our 21 month too, i want to run away daily

[mushmouse]

Oct 3, 2013 5:54:18 GMT -5 meganew said:

And how the "mine!" and tantrum phase only lasted a short while? Please?

Ollie use to be so chill- when the kids across the street would take toys from him, he'd just go "eh, whatever" and find something else to play with. Now it's flipping out, screaming, crying, laying on the floor.

I know he's testing us. Everything is the opposite- "I want a pouch, please!" Bring him a pouch "No, banana!" Get him banana "Noooo, pooouuuuch!" Wtf?

It's definitely worse at night, but the snatching things and saying "mine" and then telling H and I to "stop it!" needs to end. Tell me what to do, because right now my go-to is just pouring myself some wine. Lol

He should be flipping out when other kids take his toys!  We drank a lot when he was 2.  3 is looking sooo much better so far.  At one point I realized that with anyone but a 2 year old people would have been advising me to leave my abusive relationship.  The advice to never give in to a tantrum is a good one.  Once the cap was twisted on the pouch he had made his final decision and the banana was off the table.

[meganew]

Oct 3, 2013 6:08:39 GMT -5 ginger said:

I tell M , "you asked for a pouch, and that is what you're having. Let me know when you're ready." Then I walk away with it. The tantrum stops pretty fast.

But then there are the times I forget that exists and we go through the whole rigmarole. Lately I remember more than I forget though.

I hope it's a short phase for Ollie! Has his routine changed recently? New teacher/classroom if he's in daycare? M ALWAYS sprouts devil horns when her routine is interrupted. END.OF.THE.WORLD.

He just changed rooms at daycare and his favorite teacher left : ( But, he's still really good there! He went through a hard transition at drop off, but now when we walk in he's all "Bye mom! I eat faffle!"

Also- he wants to eat all the time. All the time. Like, I fear for my wallet when he's a teenager.

[ginger]

Oct 3, 2013 6:18:04 GMT -5 meganew said:

Oct 3, 2013 6:08:39 GMT -5 ginger said:

I tell M , "you asked for a pouch, and that is what you're having. Let me know when you're ready." Then I walk away with it. The tantrum stops pretty fast.

But then there are the times I forget that exists and we go through the whole rigmarole. Lately I remember more than I forget though.

I hope it's a short phase for Ollie! Has his routine changed recently? New teacher/classroom if he's in daycare? M ALWAYS sprouts devil horns when her routine is interrupted. END.OF.THE.WORLD.

He just changed rooms at daycare and his favorite teacher left : ( But, he's still really good there! He went through a hard transition at drop off, but now when we walk in he's all "Bye mom! I eat faffle!"

Also- he wants to eat all the time. All the time. Like, I fear for my wallet when he's a teenager.

That might be why it's happening more. Could he be hanging in there at school and then melting down at home when it's "safe"?

Awww! So proud he handled the transition like a champ. BIG boy!

[Deleted]

What to do? Really? You parent. You redirect his bad behavior, you say "No" and teach him how he should behave, you give him choices and consequences he can understand. And never negotiate with the terrorist or accept behavior you dislike.

All kids do this crap. It is up to you to teach him to behave differently.

[meganew]

Oct 3, 2013 6:24:15 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

What to do? Really? You parent. You redirect his bad behavior, you say "No" and teach him how he should behave, you give him choices and consequences he can understand. And never negotiate with the terrorist or accept behavior you dislike.

All kids do this crap. It is up to you to teach him to behave differently.

Where is my eye roll emoticon. No shit you "parent". I was asking if anyone had any good tips for dealing with the meltdowns or felt like commiserating.

[themoneytree]

Oct 3, 2013 6:24:15 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

What to do? Really? You parent. You redirect his bad behavior, you say "No" and teach him how he should behave, you give him choices and consequences he can understand. And never negotiate with the terrorist or accept behavior you dislike.

All kids do this crap. It is up to you to teach him to behave differently.

I'm rolling my eyes at this too. V condescending.
She's looking for suggestions to parent more effectively. This can only be a good thing, no?
Says the parent who's 15 month old is a chronic snack cup thief and I cannot get her to stop.

[Deleted]

I do what ginger does. I am NOT dancing around trying to avoid the ire of a completely irrational being. Whenever I get desperate and try to appease either one of them, the dramatics just increase. Once they get a hint of success, they turn into monstrous little despots.

I say "That isn't just yours. We share our toys" and walk away.

I say "You asked for a pouch. I already opened it and I'm not getting you something else. It's here on the table" and walk away.

Lots of walking away...and drinking. Lol.

[curtains]

My kid is a teen and has been pretty complacent and easy since around 3 or so. There are times she gets on my nerves but for the most part she is pretty good.

That being said she was a holy terror from about 15 months to 3 years. I seriously thought holy shit if she is like this now what am I in for?? I honestly always loved her but there were many times during that time that I really didn't like her very much.

No real advice except consistancy and lots of time outs (for you not your kid, lol) You'll get through this. It won't be the easiest or best time of your parenting career but you'll appreciate them a lot more once it is over.

Take care of yourself, it is easy to get wrapped up in those crazy toddler years.

I posted this a few weeks ago but in case you didn't see it you need to watch this right now...

[iamgrace]

It's all normal. And infuriating. Just do your best to show him the appropriate reaction in these situations and be consistent. It's starting to click for Henry.

[CurlyQ284]

Oct 3, 2013 6:24:15 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

What to do? Really? You parent. You redirect his bad behavior, you say "No" and teach him how he should behave, you give him choices and consequences he can understand. And never negotiate with the terrorist or accept behavior you dislike.

All kids do this crap. It is up to you to teach him to behave differently.

Jeez chill out. Of course she's parenting she's just looking for the best method or advice from those who has been there. Some of our kids didn't come with an instruction manual. Glad yours did!

[iamgrace]

Oct 3, 2013 6:24:15 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

What to do? Really? You parent. You redirect his bad behavior, you say "No" and teach him how he should behave, you give him choices and consequences he can understand. And never negotiate with the terrorist or accept behavior you dislike.

All kids do this crap. It is up to you to teach him to behave differently.

All hail the queen of parents. 

[daisybuchannan]

Oct 3, 2013 6:36:02 GMT -5 meganew said:

Oct 3, 2013 6:24:15 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

What to do? Really? You parent. You redirect his bad behavior, you say "No" and teach him how he should behave, you give him choices and consequences he can understand. And never negotiate with the terrorist or accept behavior you dislike.

All kids do this crap. It is up to you to teach him to behave differently.

Where is my eye roll emoticon. No shit you "parent". I was asking if anyone had any good tips for dealing with the meltdowns or felt like commiserating.

Think harder, megachoo!!

PARENT your kid please!

Lol. I'll commiserate. Connor flipped his shit this morning when I wouldn't let him go into the guest room and try to knock over the vacuum (I was trying to hide it from him upstairs bc he's obsessed). He makes his whole body limp and screams/whimpers like I'm the WORST MOM EVAH!

He's only one!

[Jermys]

Edith was so freaking easy until 3. Freddie seems to be starting the terrible twos early I'm with Ginger and Stellas; consistency and firmness. It's the only thing that works. Mostly.

[thebuddhagouda]

Oct 3, 2013 9:25:26 GMT -5 Que? said:

With the sharing, I see this coming up a lot with G and her pals when it didn't previously. I try to talk about it before people come over or we go somewhere, but I think it's just one of those kid things, but it's definitely a phase. I know some kids who were greedy little mf'ers last year and are fine now.

E also does much better at sharing when we have a pep talk before getting together with his friends.

Also, the whining about a broken banana or granola bar is the absolute worst. No, I'm not getting you a new one. It tastes exactly the same. EAT IT. EAT THAT BANANA AND LIKE IT!!!!!!

[eddy]

Was bigtoe the originator of "Parenting with a backbone"

I feel like she was.....

[Deleted]

There are some things I allow to be just his. Other things I tell him are for sharing. He doesn't seem to be so hell bent on "Mine!" all the time now, but I can't tell you if that's because of his age, or just because it's the way he is. He does do the opposite thing, though. I ask him if he wants milk or water. "Milk." So I give him milk. Then it's "Mama, I want water!" So I tell him I'll give him water after he finishes his milk. This seems to work for us. Sometimes he still wants the opposite thing after he's done and sometimes he doesn't. Either way, he needs to finish what he asked for first.

[Deleted]

Oct 3, 2013 9:36:04 GMT -5 eddy said:

Was bigtoe the originator of "Parenting with a backbone"

I feel like she was.....

Yes, I was.

[meganew]

Oct 3, 2013 7:45:54 GMT -5 daisybuchannan said:

Oct 3, 2013 6:36:02 GMT -5 meganew said:

Where is my eye roll emoticon. No shit you "parent". I was asking if anyone had any good tips for dealing with the meltdowns or felt like commiserating.

Think harder, megachoo!!

PARENT your kid please!

Lol. I'll commiserate. Connor flipped his shit this morning when I wouldn't let him go into the guest room and try to knock over the vacuum (I was trying to hide it from him upstairs bc he's obsessed). He makes his whole body limp and screams/whimpers like I'm the WORST MOM EVAH!

He's only one!

Oliver is also obsessed with the vacuum! I actually hope that one sticks around! Haha

Thanks guys. It just feels good to know that this wont last forever. Things are going better tonight. I'm going to try putting him down early and see if that helps, he's been getting overtired before bed.

And re: the pouch vs banana- he ate the banana. I had already cut it up. Then he threw half on the floor and laughed and laughed. Sigh.