My ILs SUCK. Ugh.

[psychmom]

That's so shitty. I'm sorry.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry. My ILs live about 500 miles away and they went on vacation and were within 50 miles of us and didn't even tell us they were in town. It hurt all of us because they always complain that we don't get out to see them enough.

[ECB]

All I can suggest is setting your expectations low, now. You have a newborn and they don't come visit? This is who they are. They aren't going to change. It's angering, I get it. But the sooner you change your expectations, the less power you give them

Good luck.

[ruffles]

I'm sorry. My MIL is the same way. She lives 5 miles away from us, and always make comments on FB about how she wishes she could see my daughter more often. She can drive, she has her own car, she just wants to be catered to.

[sineadorebellion]

I know those feelings. My ILs would say "we're really sorry we can't make DD1's birthday party. It's just not a good time for us to travel." No problem, totally understandable right?

Except the reason the couldn't come was because they were visiting my SIL and her kids out of town, because "well, her kids like us better." Oy. That was pretty much the end of our relationship.

I'm sorry your ILs suck too.

[moolarkey]

When dd was born my ILS traveled right through our town to return to Florida after being in the state for BIL's wedding 3 days before.

Right after I had DS, our first child, they Commend he was the first real (insert our last name here) grandchild. H's cousin had adopted a baby boy 6 weeks earlier. In their eyes he didn't count. Not exaggerating, my mouth dropped open and I couldn't speak. I just stared at them. Morons.

[chickadee77]

I'll be extremely surprised if my MIL (FIL died a couple years ago) ever visits if we have a child. She is way too invested in her other three grandchildren and her daughter to ever give a shit about us. Unless, of course, she needs something.

Sorry you have to deal with this. (((hugs)))

[jane6672]

Oct 3, 2013 17:59:25 GMT -5 @smace said:

(But my ILs totally suck worse. I just read on the police report that my SIL tried to stab a guy in the eye with her keys. ugh.)
 

[snickers]

I'm sorry

[mskitkat]

Can I trade you? I would totally prefer that to mine who tried to invite themselves on our romantic vacation and won't shut up about how we're supposed to be living with them.

[4speedy]

My mom is at her vacation home right now, getting it ready for winter. Tomorrow is grandparents day at DD's school so my mom is hopping in the car at 5am to drive 31/2 hours to DD's school. She will be there for two hours and then she is going to get right back in the car so she can meet a repairman at her cottage at 3 PM. Now THAT is a dedicated grandparent.

And yet, DD has decided that she will give the coupon book that all the kids made for the grandparents to my MIL, who will be a no show. Want to know why? Because, according to my 7 yo, she doesn't need to give coupons for hugs to Grandma N because she already loves us.

Kids figure this stuff out early.

[icechalk]

OP - I am so sorry. That's really hurtful. My sister's in-laws also live about 1000 miles from her and have yet to meet her 20 month old.

[VeryViolet]

I'm sorry. I have similar inlaws. It is really hard for me becuase their lack of caring upsets my DH and I can't make it better. Also, I just don't get it because my crazy family is up my ass. It is such a different dynamic that I don't even know where to start. My MIL particularly is just super selfish and FIL allows it to happen so he isn't without blame. I am just trying to accept that it is how they are but I still try and do something stupid to engage them occasionally. It rarely works.

[whitemerlot]

I'm sorry. My own parents live less than 20 minutes away and show very little interest in my children. It sucks.