Ugh. Ventish

[prettyinpink]

My Dad just called. He found out today that my Nanny's money runs out at the end of August. The 4 siblings that are alive and can have to come up with $900 a month EACH to keep her going. Its insane. I guess the other options are to get her in a home, let the state put a lean on her house and let the state take care of her. Or attempt to sell her house and use that money on an apartment for her and her care taker.

I'm just in shock. It is costing $3000 a month for this woman to live with her and take care of her and she is not even a licensed health care provider.

I don't mean this to sound rude or cruel but I'm hoping that the fact that she is running out of money is God's way of saying her time is coming to an end. She is 95 and for the last 5 years been begging to go "home" to the Lord. ( We aren't taking any measures to keep her here, other than CHF and being 95 she is pretty healthy)

I just hope things work out.

Thanks for listening. Here are some brie and cranberry crackers for your time.

[margotmacomber]

Sounds fucked.

I have no advice. just take care of yourself, A, and let everything else happen as it may.

[prettyinpink]

Thanks ladies. I just wish there was a way to take care of her where the family wasn't forking out so much money.

M, I'm staying out of it. I'm just a grandkid so no one really cares what I think which is fine by me.

[NomadicMama]

That does suck. I'm sorry your family is having to deal with this. And, $900/month is, I bet, providing all is well with your Nanny and the house.

My grandmother did not want to go into a nursing home, but it got to the point where she had to. She had dementia that was getting worse. Once transitioned in, she was actually quite happy.

I hope it all works out for your Nanny.

[iluvmytxrgr]

$3000 a month for this woman to live with her? Holy crap! That is insane. The nicest, high end retirement home here is less than $2000 a month for a personal care home where there are nurses and doctors on staff but you have your own little apartment or cottage. Some one goes in every few days to clean for you. I'd honestly start looking into one of those places. She may enjoy it more. They have social times. They take field trips to the mall and other areas. The few here have salons in them to get your hair done. They play bingo and other games. They even have book clubs. Your family could get so much more for the money and she'd still be well taken care of.

[name]

May 14, 2012 7:32:50 GMT -5 iluvmytxrgr said:

$3000 a month for this woman to live with her? Holy crap! That is insane. The nicest, high end retirement home here is less than $2000 a month for a personal care home where there are nurses and doctors on staff but you have your own little apartment or cottage. Some one goes in every few days to clean for you. I'd honestly start looking into one of those places. She may enjoy it more. They have social times. They take field trips to the mall and other areas. The few here have salons in them to get your hair done. They play bingo and other games. They even have book clubs. Your family could get so much more for the money and she'd still be well taken care of.

Where do you live?? $2000/month would get you a bed at a horrible cockroach-infested craphole where you are sure to get unstagable pressure ulcers here! For a nice place you are looking at $5K+. But really $3000/month for a live-in caretaker is $100/day for (hopefully) full care for your grandmother....that sounds about right to me, honestly. It is a crappy situation your family is in. The selling her house idea and relocating her to a small apartment or townhome sounds like a good plan of action.

We are going through something similar with my mom's dad. You feel like a horrible person wishing for someone to die but you really know that it is time for them. Their quality of life gets so bad and its expensive. My parents have ended up footing most of the bill for my grandfather to live in the home of his caregiver and it is not cheap even in a relatively LCOL area.

T&P to your whole family as you sort all of this out. Its not a fun thing to. Deal with.

[justaname]

Apparently you can post as a guest here. Sorry the above post was me.

[iluvmytxrgr]

I'm in Savannah. There are a ton of retirement, personal care and nursing homes here. I think it keeps the rates down.

[prettyinpink]

Thanks Ladies.

Tx she was in one like that a few years ago while she was recovering from over dehydration( she thinks if she doesn't drink water then she won't have to go potty, and then her HBP causes her to retain water and then its just a huge mess!!) and a few other things. She loved it there but it got expensive too. I'm hoping they can find something that works better even if its moving her to a town about 45minutes away where my aunt lives. They have more care facilities there so the cost won't be as much as where she was before.

And Justaname- I feel like $3000 is high because this person has no medical training so if something happened she still needs extra help and this woman doesn't drive so one of my aunts still has to make sure she gets to her appointments.

[Deleted]

I think that's high as well. She gets free rent, utilities, cable, etc. That's like 900 extra dollars on top of that. I applied for a job for a home healthcare aid 8/hr. 24 hr care and there were 3 caretakers that rotated 12 hr shifts. That's 5700 dollars a month. BUT it was for a couple. I was most qualified with being a CNA. I turned the job down due to the man being pervy. He touched my butt and offered me 200 dollars to get naked. This was all in front of his daughter and wife. Not enough money in the world...

[brandienee]

3000 dollars for a Registered Nurse to be at her side everyday is not expensive. I am all for the children taking care of the parents when they are that age, it is our responsibility to take care of our aging parents.

3000 dollars for a glorified babysitter, however, is insane. And she doesn't drive?!?! WTH?

[prettyinpink]

May 14, 2012 10:19:55 GMT -5 brandienee said:

3000 dollars for a Registered Nurse to be at her side everyday is not expensive. I am all for the children taking care of the parents when they are that age, it is our responsibility to take care of our aging parents.

3000 dollars for a glorified babysitter, however, is insane. And she doesn't drive?!?! WTH?

Thank you! That's exactly where I am. My Dad can afford the $900 a month( no matter how much he is complaining about it, I know he can) but 2 of the other 4 contributors are retired and so are their spouses so I know its going to be hard for the rest of them.

And I'm also all for taking care of our aging parents I have no problem with that, but the idea that everyone might go broke doing this is making me stabby. I just hope they look at all the options before they continue on this route.

[NomadicMama]

$3k/month and the Nanny-sitter doesn't drive? Wow. Sign me up! I'll do it for $2,500, even. I hope they find something that works out.