WWMLD? RE: Gifts and family

[sawyerthedestroyer]

At Easter H and I talked to our families about Christmas gifts. Yes, it was early, but everyone was there, which made it easier. Now that my sister and her H, H's sister and her H, and H and I have kids we asked if it would be okay for everyone to just focus on the kids and not worry about getting the adults gifts. Everyone agreed.

Today I checked with my mom and sister to make sure we were still on the same page. Newp. They have both already done their shopping for everyone. So now I feel obligated to get gifts for everyone, which annoys me since we already discussed this and agreed that we would just do kids gifts.

Would you get a gift for everyone, or just for the kids?

[VillainV]

I, personally, would get gifts for the kids, and maybe some small token gift for the adults, as a couple. Like no more than $20....like a photo frame or vase or something.

[Jalapeñomel]

I would stay with the original plans.

[lime]

You are within your right to stick to the original plan. When/if the adults whine that you didn't get them a gift, you can remind them of the conversation.

And, maybe not getting a gift this year will make them consider not buying gifts next year.

[RoxMonster]

I would say either stick with the original plan and just do the kids, or get something very small for the adults and make it a couples gift.

[isabel]

They've already bought gifts for everyone!? I haven't even thought about Christmas yet! (I realize this is not the point of your post.) I would feel obligated to get at least a small gift for each couple (think bottle of wine or gift card to a restaurant).

[pixelpassion]

If you anticipate feeling guilty for not getting the adults gifts, you could always do homemade baked goods/candy. FI and I do huge batches and gift them to people we either don't want to/can't afford to spend money on.

[sunshineluv]

I would buy gifts for everyone. If money is an issue that may change my mind, but I would feel weird getting gifts and not giving them any. If you want, maybe next year draw names? Then there is a more set plan.

[ElizabethBennet]

Stick with the original plan. Just tell them you budgeted for only the kids and buying for the adults is not possible at this point.

[Deleted]

If you are the only party to a conversation who thinks something was decided, and even you were sufficiently uncertain that you called to ask, I would assume the initial misunderstanding is yours.

That doesn't mean you have to get adults presents. But I am not sure I am buying "it was decided then they backed out."

[pantsparty]

Ugh! That sucks. This is part of why people hate the holidays. I'm so glad me and my brothers stopped exchanging gifts years ago.

I would stick with your plan. Otherwise this is going to continue to perpetuate year after year.

[snickers]

That sucks

Personally, I would feel obligated to get the adults presents too

[sawyerthedestroyer]

Hey, guess what everyone is getting:



pintester.com/2013/02/diy-candle-designs/

Probably not the penis design, but I'm feeling scrappy right now.

[ECB]

Oct 12, 2013 13:07:10 GMT -5 lime said:

And, maybe not getting a gift this year will make them consider not buying gifts next year.

THis is exactly why I'd stick to the original plan. 

[lilibet]

I'd probably get something small for the adults in case maybe it was a misunderstanding. But then at Christmas this year I'd bring up just focusing on the kids next year.

I feel your pain, I'm the spawn of Satan in dh's family for daring to bring up the idea of just buying for the kids. I got shot down so quick and mil assumed it meant I hated her family. Not the case at all, just seems silly to me.