Wedding reception question

[SuePermann]

If a wedding invitation states that the reception starts at 3pm, what time would you expect the bride and groom to arrive at the reception?

[daisybuchannan]

A wedding reception at 3 pm sounds weird.

I'm guessing this is a no fun kind of reception.

[meganew]

3:30 or 4. Usually there's a cocktail hour while they get pictures done and then they'll be announced.

[bonquiqui]

3 pm

[AmeliaBedelia]

Either 3 or 4. They may be taking pictures during a cocktail hour, if there is one.

[Deleted]

Huh?

I'd expect them to be there immediately. They'd probably be the last to walk in the room, but still...

[janegold]

Is the cocktail hour part of the reception? I rarely see the wedding party at cocktail hour.

[winelady]

The last one we went to the reception was at 3 and I don't think the b &g showed up until after 6. I was pissed. Their "cocktail hor" consisted of cheese and crackers and grapes. The bar was just beer mad wine but they pretty much ran out around dinner and had to go for more. Not to many people stayed much past dinner.

E.t.a. We would have left but had just drove 2 hours to get there and it was pretty much in the middle of nowhere, the kids were angels otherwise we probably would have just left.

[spindle92]

This is a huge peeve of mine. If the invite says reception at 3 then bride and groom better be there. If it is cocktail hr at 3 then state that.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using proboards

[Jalapeñomel]

3 pm

[speckledfrog]

4, assuming a one hour cocktail hour.

[SuePermann]

Thank you for your answers. I kind of felt like a snot watching the clock at a wedding yesterday. Then I wondered if I was wrong and falsely assumed that 3pm meant the bride and groom would be there about 3, even maybe 315/30, but no later. The bride and groom and rest of wedding party did not arrive until 440 for a reception that clearly stated 3pm.

[SuePermann]

Oct 27, 2013 20:59:34 GMT -5 janegold said:

Is the cocktail hour part of the reception? I rarely see the wedding party at cocktail hour.

If the invite doesnt state cocktail hour, only reception starts at 3pm, is it natural to assume a cocktail hour? I wasnt even sure if there would be a bar at this reception until I got there.

[janegold]

I would assume cocktail hour first, wedding party arrives later.

[papie]

4pm

[revolution]

I would assume 4ish.

In my area, it isn't customary to state cocktail hour time and reception time on the card. You just state the reception start time. Cocktail hour is the first hour or 2 of the reception.

[papie]

Oct 27, 2013 21:04:06 GMT -5 SuePermann said:

Oct 27, 2013 20:59:34 GMT -5 janegold said:

Is the cocktail hour part of the reception? I rarely see the wedding party at cocktail hour.

If the invite doesnt state cocktail hour, only reception starts at 3pm, is it natural to assume a cocktail hour? I wasnt even sure if there would be a bar at this reception until I got there.

I always assume cocktail hour first.

[papie]

Oct 27, 2013 21:07:54 GMT -5 revolution said:

I would assume 4ish.

In my area, it isn't customary to state cocktail hour time and reception time on the card. You just state the reception start time. Cocktail hour is the first hour or 2 of the reception.

And this

[SuePermann]

FTR I am not trying to be petty. Its just we had another even to go to that night, and knew we werent going to stay past five. If I had known that the wedding party were not going to arrive until so much later, we likely wouldnt have even gone to the reception at all.

[sonrisa]

Oct 27, 2013 21:02:27 GMT -5 SuePermann said:

Thank you for your answers. I kind of felt like a snot watching the clock at a wedding yesterday. Then I wondered if I was wrong and falsely assumed that 3pm meant the bride and groom would be there about 3, even maybe 315/30, but no later. The bride and groom and rest of wedding party did not arrive until 440 for a reception that clearly stated 3pm.

But were there cocktails, food, music, etc. during that time? ie. a reception? (in my mind, cocktails and apps are part of the reception). Unless there was a big time lag between wedding and reception, I expect everyone to be taking photos for the first while. Sometimes within view of guests. Sometimes not. It isn't like you are chatting it up with the bride the whole night anyways. Usually you get 5 minutes tops. Most of the evening you spend with the other guests - sometimes in view of the couple.

[papie]

Oct 27, 2013 21:08:36 GMT -5 SuePermann said:

FTR I am not trying to be petty. Its just we had another even to go to that night, and knew we werent going to stay past five. If I had known that the wedding party were not going to arrive until so much later, we likely wouldnt have even gone to the reception at all.

In that situation I would have assumed I wouldn't be there long enough to see them and actually skip it.

[katfco]

Depends on what time the wedding is. If the wedding is around 2, I'd expect the bride and groom to show up around 4 or maybe 5, based on my experiences.

[bonquiqui]

I have always seen cocktail hour stated on the invite. If it said cocktail hour at 3, i would expect them at 4. If it did not specify that, i would expect they did pictures before, and they would arrive at 3.

[sonrisa]

Oct 27, 2013 21:08:36 GMT -5 SuePermann said:

FTR I am not trying to be petty. Its just we had another even to go to that night, and knew we werent going to stay past five. If I had known that the wedding party were not going to arrive until so much later, we likely wouldnt have even gone to the reception at all.

Wait, so you snuck out of their wedding (while they probably paid full price for your dinner and the other guests were stuck at your partially empty table) and you have the temerity to suggest they were rude because they didn't plan around your schedule?  

Alrighty then.

[SuePermann]

Oct 27, 2013 21:07:05 GMT -5 specialk said:

I would assume 4 with a one hour cocktail hour. That is the norm around here, at least for the weddings I have been to.

If I am being fed and there are drinks, I am happy. Let the Bride and Groom get their pictures taken if that's what they want. You don't see them one-on-one most of the wedding anyway. If you have to or want to leave at a certain time, then go ahead.

It just seems like an odd thing to get worked up over. I could see if there was no food or beverages, though.

Not really worked up. I honestly wondered if I was off my rocker expecting that they would be there shortly after the stated reception time and was curious what other people would have thought. 

[SuePermann]

Oct 27, 2013 21:11:46 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Oct 27, 2013 21:08:36 GMT -5 SuePermann said:

FTR I am not trying to be petty. Its just we had another even to go to that night, and knew we werent going to stay past five. If I had known that the wedding party were not going to arrive until so much later, we likely wouldnt have even gone to the reception at all.

Wait, so you were sneaking out of their wedding (while they were probably paying full price for your dinner while other guests were now stuck at your partially empty table) and you have the temerity to suggest they were rude because they didn't plan around your schedule?  Alrighty then.

Simmer down now, lots of assumptions going on here. I was honestly trying to get a feel of what time others would have expected. Seeing that I thought the party would be truly getting started about 330, I felt being there for 1.5 hours would have been sufficient. I wasnt trying to be a shit to these people, or waste their money. 

[sonrisa]

Oct 27, 2013 21:18:31 GMT -5 SuePermann said:

Oct 27, 2013 21:11:46 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Wait, so you were sneaking out of their wedding (while they were probably paying full price for your dinner while other guests were now stuck at your partially empty table) and you have the temerity to suggest they were rude because they didn't plan around your schedule?  Alrighty then.

Simmer down now, lots of assumptions going on here. I was honestly trying to get a feel of what time others would have expected. Seeing that I thought the party would be truly getting started about 330, I felt being there for 1.5 hours would have been sufficient. I wasnt trying to be a shit to these people, or waste their money. 

Did you tell them when you RSVPed that you would be leaving at 5 because of another commitment? Was there a meal served after you left? If no and yes, YOU were the one who was rude. If it was a dry, no dancing, cake and punch reception, then your expectations that it would end in an hour and a half were reasonable. 

[speckledfrog]

Look joyfull, the heat is off you now!

[SuePermann]

Oct 27, 2013 21:11:30 GMT -5 specialk said:

Oct 27, 2013 21:08:36 GMT -5 SuePermann said:

FTR I am not trying to be petty. Its just we had another even to go to that night, and knew we werent going to stay past five. If I had known that the wedding party were not going to arrive until so much later, we likely wouldnt have even gone to the reception at all.

This is a you problem. Not a bride and groom problem. If I were you, I would have just tried to enjoy the free food, booze, and music and the opportunity to mingle with the other guests. Not to be harsh, but it does sound a bit petty.

True, it was a me issue, I assumed wrong, and I asked here for a broader perspective. In all of the weddings I have been to, where a reception start time was stated, the bride and groom came in shortly thereafter. I was really just seeking out what others would have thought. And clearly, while 440 might have been a little extreme, many here would have thought 4. So I asked and learned. 

[SuePermann]

Oct 27, 2013 21:21:21 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Oct 27, 2013 21:18:31 GMT -5 SuePermann said:

Simmer down now, lots of assumptions going on here. I was honestly trying to get a feel of what time others would have expected. Seeing that I thought the party would be truly getting started about 330, I felt being there for 1.5 hours would have been sufficient. I wasnt trying to be a shit to these people, or waste their money. 

Did you tell them when you RSVPed that you would be leaving at 5 because of another commitment? Was there a meal served after you left? If no and yes, YOU were the one who was rude. If it was a dry, no dancing, cake and punch reception, then your expectations that it would end in an hour and a half were reasonable. 

I never thought it would end in 1.5 hours. I thought staying for 1.5 hours after their arrival would have been sufficient. Again, that was "assuming" that they would be there sooner than they were. Yes, the food area was not opened up until they arrived, so I suck for this. I would not at all have purposely tried to be an ass to someone, wedding day or not. This is why I asked the question here, bc obviously there is an hour time spread that many here would have expected and I did not, that is why I asked.