401k, divorce

[citybudgetmom]

I posted another thread on here called "any gurus want to pick through my budget" and the overwhelming response was that we needed to beef up our retirement.

Here's the sitch. I'm a SAHM, he's a high-earner. I manage our money. Thus far I've been funneling our savings into a money market. Full disclosure: it's a money market in my name only in my home town. No foul play, it's just where we thought it would be the safest and we'd be less likely to spend it since it takes 5 business days to get money out.

Due to the advice on this board, we changed his contribution for his 401k to 10% from 5%. Basically now his money is going into an account that really, neither of us can touch for years, least of all me.

Things are cool now, but what if we get divorced some time between now and when the 401k matures. Do I have a right to this money like I would other shared assets? Like, maybe beefing up the retirement is good for him and *us*, but if we were to divorce, maybe me having funneled money into his 401k would harm me as an individual.

I hate talking about things like this, but you never know what can happen.

Anyone? Advice? Advice on how to protect myself as a non-income earner in a high-income house? We have two kids. Thanks.

[Deleted]

It depends on the laws of your state as to how much you would be entitled to. You might want to consult a financial advisor about these issues.

[rubytue]

Part will depend on your state.

Not a lawyer or anything, but that said, everyone I've known who went through a divorce across a couple of states, has had 401(k) balances accounted for as part of the asset distribution. Usually the one with the 401(k) has had to pay out the other spouse somehow. In fact, that is one of the reasons given why baby boomers often have low balances.

[imojoebunny]

In my state, I would get about 1/2 of all the assets we accumulate in our marriage, including 401K. DH & I agree to save about 33% of what he makes, so we would both be ok if we divorced, but staying together, we will be able to have a lot more extras in retirement, assuming DH continues to work for 20 more years.

I also have a substantial 401k from the 12 years I worked, which DH would likely not be entitled to, just as I would not be entitled to the investments he made prior to marriage.

In reality, I have seen it work differently. A friend of mine was married for 40 years, her DH left her. She allowed him to just be "separated" without divorcing for 7 or 8 years (Her mistake). He ran through the 500K+ they had saved, then divorced her, while she worked at Kroger to make ends meet. All she got was the house (paid for).

[barefootcontessa]

You could do a post-nup agreement. I think the fact that you are managing things give you a measure of protection. I also manage things and could be squirreling money away in an undisclosed location and my DH would have no idea.