I'm irrationally annoyed.

[stephm0188]

I was talking to a friend at the bus stop this morning about my kid's upcoming appointment with a neurologist. Some other parent interrupted and said "They said my brother was delayed but he turned out just fine and works as an engineer now!"

I've been hearing variations of the "he turned out just fine!" story for five years. I don't care about your sister's uncle's best friend and whether or not he turned out "just fine." I care about my kid, who struggles daily. I don't care about some feel good story that's suppose to magically make me not worry. What am I suppose to do with that? Say "Fuck therapy, so and so's brother is an engineer now!"

I told you it was irrational.

[pinkflats]

Not irrational at all. People need to mind their own business.

[TrickyBob]

I don't think it is irrational to feel that way. Sometimes you get tired of hearing how it turned out for everyone else because right now, right this minute, it isn't working out that way.

[bonquiqui]

I know people mean well, but yes, they say stupid things sometimes.  I remember when I was diagnosed with MS, people would say "oh well my brother's best friend's neighbors grandma, had MS, and she died from it, but treatment has come a long way.  Shut up

[Deleted]

People said these kinds of things to my mom after my sister was diagnosed with Asperger's and it drove her nuts.

My mom lost it on one lady at a pool party once who compared my sister to Temple Grandin, and my mom basically said "well (sister) doesn't have a passion for hugging cattle, so I suppose she's just fucked then." Don't do that.


I get why it's grating, it's kind of a filler thing people do when they don't know what to say. Know that they do have the best intentions, normally. It is totally healthy to hate them.

[katfco]

I understand. My daughter was a micro-preemie, and I can't tell you how many people, especially in those first few weeks, would say, "I know so-and-so who had a preemie, and they're fine now."

I will say, sometimes I use her as an example of good outcomes, but only if someone is asking for reassurance that things can turn out okay. Unsolicited statements like that just tend to demonstrate the other person's ignorance of the situation. And ignorance of, you know, feelings.

[lola]

So not irrational.

When people are talking to me about TTC (my sisters, mom, mom's friends [my mother has the world's biggest mouth and all her peeps know about my broken uterus i swear]), they ALWAYS want to offer me advice. "My cousin's best friend's hair dresser's sister's housekeeper tried for TEN YEARS and then one month she just relaxed and ate a pineapple core and ended up pregnant!"

I try to tell myself that people just don't know what to say during difficult times and yet always feel like they have to offer *something*. They'd be so much wiser to stick with, "That sounds really difficult. I sure hope you get some answers soon!" or something.