The Gift of Not Giving

[Jermys]

Did you see this article?  www.yummymummyclub.ca/life/celebrate/20131024/the-gift-of-not-giving-a-thing

It gave me the idea of giving our kids experiences instead of more freaking toys, because OMG you guys, we have so damn many toys.

I think I'm going to ask H's siblings if they can all go in on a membership to the Children's Museum for Freddie and a membership to the Arboretum for Edith. Both memberships are about $120, and spread out among 5 siblings, it would be about $25 for each kid.

Now...how do I ask for that?

[Deleted]

I ask for memberships every year.

No one ever gets them. :/

[Jermys]

Oct 30, 2013 21:49:26 GMT -5 toledo said:

If I remember correctly from The Bump, I think you just write them each an email and assign everybody a dollar amount based on your perceptions of their income.

I'll just go ahead and ask for the fancier memberships then.  Everyone is all loaded and childfree but us!

[keyslover]

I would do this with my cousins when they were little.

I would love to find classes or outings for the girls instead of toys. We have way too many.

Good luck telling folks! I know it can be akward. I have no advice. I do know some people do not like doing that because the kids have nothing to open (oh noes!) and I may have told mil it is ok if there isn't a big box to open. Zoo membership? Little animal to go with it if you insist on a gift to open.

Bah humbug

[Jermys]

Oct 30, 2013 21:59:13 GMT -5 keyslover said:

I may have told mil it is ok if there isn't a big box to open. Zoo membership? Little animal to go with it if you insist on a gift to open.  

Exactly. They're five and 20 months...they'd be happy opening matchbox cars.

[missmaddie]

I would love suggestions like this for our nephews, 6 and 10. Neither play with toys...it's all sporting equipment (Santa brings new hockey gear) or video games. You know who's not interested in picking out the right version of Skylanders for the right gaming system? Me. Or DH.

[Jermys]

farmvillelover, I am so freaking excited for Christmas this year! This age is when it starts being exciting for them - the lights, the train under the tree, unwrapping gifts, etc. I wish Thanksgiving was over and we were in Hanukkah/Christmas season (we do both). Christmas is so FUN with small kids!

[Jermys]

You're going to love it. The year before Edith came home, we put up a tiny origami tree and didn't decorate the house. Her first Christmas was awesome because she loved the lights and paper, but her second Christmas was absolutely magical. Like beyond words. I'm so excited for you that you're getting that experience this year!!!

[Deleted]

I love this idea, and would be thrilled if my brother or BIL suggested stuff like this for gifts for their kids instead of toys. I know they have plenty of toys and "stuff" already. Maybe I'll ask my SIL if she'd like this idea for Christmas for my niece and nephew. Of course, I'm a jerk and usually try to buy something non-toy for my nieces and nephew anyway - books, art supplies, stickers, etc.

[Deleted]

I ask for this too.

Disney (for the kids tickets) was a gift one year and for ds's birthday every year my mom buys us a zoo membership.

[jenna]

I asked my mom for a membership to the Magic House (a kids museum) and we bought our own membership to the zoo.

My mom is usually pretty good about getting items we request - all within reason, of course. I also make sure she goes with us once in awhile to the Magic House.

[venice2007]

My mom did this for the grand kids. Zoo memberships and children's museums. So they would have something to open, she'd put a small fave animal with the zoo membership and art supplies or science project for the museum. My nieces and nephews loved it even at young ages.

[mushmouse]

Oct 30, 2013 22:35:26 GMT -5 Jermys said:

farmvillelover, I am so freaking excited for Christmas this year! This age is when it starts being exciting for them - the lights, the train under the tree, unwrapping gifts, etc. I wish Thanksgiving was over and we were in Hanukkah/Christmas season (we do both). Christmas is so FUN with small kids!

All of this is why it's difficult, or impossible, to tell 5 people to chip in for a museum membership.  If you really feel strongly about them receiving less things, then you have to be the one to get the membership.  Because everyone else wants the joy of giving them something they love too.

[ElizabethBennet]

I was going to get D an easel and art supplies for Christmas but my aunt emailed me a couple of days ago and that's exactly what she got her lol.

I was thinking of just doing the memberships. There are a lot of awesome places out here and goodness knows the child does not need more toys. My family will shower her with toys, this would probably be better for her.

[livinitup]

My absolute favorite gift from DD's aunt/uncle was the local Zoo membership. I made a HUGE deal about getting it, sent pictures from most of our trips, and declared it my #1 wish for DD's wish list. It's hit or miss if they get it - I don't think they want it to get stale or predictable.

I felt comfortable talking about it in terms of the children's events the zoo hosted. So, when uncle asked "what does D want for Christmas?" I said something like, "The zoo membership has 3 events she loves - the new babies being born in the spring- she gets to visit the nursery and vote for new names, breakfast with the Easter Bunny, and the new Penguin - she goes straight for it every single time we visit." I try to make the membership much more than the card and a number. I try to make it vivid. 

[Deleted]

Oct 31, 2013 6:35:06 GMT -5 mushmouse said:

Oct 30, 2013 22:35:26 GMT -5 Jermys said:

farmvillelover, I am so freaking excited for Christmas this year! This age is when it starts being exciting for them - the lights, the train under the tree, unwrapping gifts, etc. I wish Thanksgiving was over and we were in Hanukkah/Christmas season (we do both). Christmas is so FUN with small kids!

All of this is why it's difficult, or impossible, to tell 5 people to chip in for a museum membership.  If you really feel strongly about them receiving less things, then you have to be the one to get the membership.  Because everyone else wants the joy of giving them something they love too.

I see what you are saying, but its also annoying that as a parent, I can't be allowed to buy my kid a bunch of stuff because the grandparents have already gone over the top with toys. I get so frustrated with my mom and MIL over this issue. They had their chance to raise their kids, I wish they would back off with buying giant plastic toys. I have already asked them to just buy him either books or one board game or a puzzle and I know there will be all kinds of resistance and they will ignore me anyway.

[Deleted]

I love this. We do minimal gifts because ds just doesn't need any more toys. And we already have very few compared to most people we know. Like, he has two totes of toys and a bookshelf with books. Nothing else.

[keyslover]

Jermys  A good gift for Edith might me tickets to a show. DD1 is 5 and DD2 will be 2.5 at Christmas time. We have yet to bring her to a show, but I DD1 has been going to various Children's Theaters for about 2 years now. She loves going to the shows. It is harder with the younger ones to do experiences since they do not quite get it yet. The upside is that they also do not quite get that they are opening a $5 car (which they think is awesome) vs a $100 leappad.

I try to play up more the experiences surrounding the holidays vs gifts. We do a Candy Cane tea at a local hotel. Check out a breakfast with Santa. Depending on my mood check out the same old sad Macy's display.

[bornbaker]

I think one of my favorite gifts ever was when my uncle adopted a tiger for me.

A few years ago I did the same with my cousin. She LOVED it, so much better than toy gifts !

[gretchenindisguise]

My parents were big on doing vs things. We've kind of taken that approach too. She still has stuff but she got zoo membership for her bday last year. We did sea world instead of a party this year. Two Christmases ago we did Disney. Etc.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2013 22:46:11 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Oct 30, 2013 22:35:26 GMT -5 Jermys said:

farmvillelover, I am so freaking excited for Christmas this year! This age is when it starts being exciting for them - the lights, the train under the tree, unwrapping gifts, etc. I wish Thanksgiving was over and we were in Hanukkah/Christmas season (we do both). Christmas is so FUN with small kids!

noah is my first, and i'm seriously beside myself about this. i just can't wait. i waited years to be able to celebrate with a child, now that it's here i really can't wait.

ME TOO they'll be almost 21 months at Christmas.  They were excited to see everything but didn't really care about unwrapping last year.

[Jermys]

I sent an email last night (we have been discussing our Christmas name picking tradition, so it wasn't out of nowhere) and so far, I've heard from four of H's five siblings. They love the idea! H comes from a family of super intellectual world travelers who are more interested in experiences than things, so I was pretty sure the idea would appeal to them and be received well. They're also not shy about asking for ideas since most of them are childfree.

I'm really glad they're so excited about it!