For a friend with cancer: WDYT?

[marynjoe]

We have a family member battling cancer. It's tough, of course, and it's been really tough lately. His wife had to stop working to take care of him, they have young children. His spirits are really down right now.

I'd like to get pictures from people all over the country holding up signs saying things like "keep fighting!" and "you can do it!" and things like that. Ideally, they would be standing in front of something that identifies where they are, like a local landmark.

I'd set up a yahoo account and the pics could be sent there. The people could cover their faces and do it anonymously if they preferred. I wouldn't publish the pics online, but would put them in a powerpoint for him to watch when he's feeling down or in the hospital.

Is this a weird idea? Good idea? Should it be family only? Strangers from all over the globe as well? Is the kind of thing you'd do or would you think it was dumb?

Thanks

[hisno1girl]

I asked my husband about this and he said he would find it very encouraging/uplifting to know that people who don't even know him would be nice enough to do something like this.

I think it is a WONDERFUL idea!

[dcannie]

i think it really depends on the personality of the receiver. my mom wouldn't have enjoyed it. the "keep fighting" stuff, i don't know, sometimes it was overwhelming, annoying, and was said by people who didn't see her every day and had no idea exactly what she was going through.

you would know better than me if this person would get anything positive from something like this.

[Deleted]

I have a very close friend whose husband is battling cancer - I'm sure he'd love something like that!

In case you're looking for other ideas, the thing we have done for them during this, the toughest round of chemo he's had, which will keep going through the stem cell transplant, is someone set up a schedule for a bunch of their friends, starting at the beginning of this set of chemo rounds. Each friend is assigned a week and sends our cancer-fighting friend's family a care package. Then the friend emails the group to let everyone know what they sent so we don't repeat, etc. It's been really great for them. Examples of packages include a huge basket from their favorite deli in another state, a popsicle making kit and syrups, a bunch of games, personalized baseball caps, etc.

[muffin0]

I think it's a neat idea! I'dmake a sign and send a picture!

[katiescarlett]

Everyone is different in what they like, but when I had cancer in high school there were 2 things people did that I really appreciated. One was a video of various people from school (friends, teachers, lunch ladies-small school) sending well wishes. Another was a quilt made by family members. Everyone had a square to paint/draw on as they wished. I cherished them both. If this is a sentimental person who likes stuff like that, I imagine he will love it. If he's not, it may be a waste of time/effort. You'd know better than I would!

[bonquiqui]

I think it is a sweet idea. I know everyone might take it differently, but I would love it.

There was a 15 year old girl battling leukemia, and she really wanted to be in the military one day, if she ever beat it. We had people all over take pictures with some sort of army hat, outfit, camo, whatever, with signs saying "fighting for hername" She loved it, but sadly passed away shortly after.

[kellbell191]

I think it would be ok if you do it with friends but i would ditch "you can do it" messages. My mom really liked the cards she got, especially from old friends. It made her feel good to be reminded that people were thinking of her and rooting for her, it made her feel less alone. She also really liked the quilt someone made her, food people dropped off. The first time she did chemo people would send her their favorite movies or books and she liked that.

I think I would organize the care package a week and try to organize everyone sending a card or postcard with their favorite memories of him or funny stories about him. Encourage people to send whatever it is that cheers them up when they're down...funny movie, funny story, chocolate.

[kellbell191]

Oh and to add, for my mom the biggest thing was not being forgotten. It became more important when we found out she was terminal; it meant a lot to her to see who remembered her and cared about her. It's easy for people to feel uncomfortable and disappear. She always understood that people meant well even of their sentiments were not ones she normally identified with.

[emjacobs]

I think this is a great idea but every person is different. My dad would hate this, my grandmother would have love it, I would love it, FI would hate it.

[marynjoe]

You all have brought up some really good points. I need to talk to his wife and see what would be best for him. But, i don't want to let her in on what I do, I want it to be a happy surprise for both of them, as she needs something uplifting as well.

[MixedBerryJam]

Does your friend have a CaringBridge page? My husband's most uplifting "gifts" were messages of support friends and family members (and total strangers in some cases) would leave for him in response to my updates. We didn't get a lot of those "you will beat this" messages, just lots of great memories and t&p's and such.

Speaking of which, thoughts & prayers on their way up for your friends and their family.