Will DD later - a little vent

[sonrisa]

DH powered through the initial FIL grieving phase, working two jobs and setting up a third. A bit overdone, but okay. Now it's hitting him hard. He still has the professional commitments he made during the denial phase.  He's stretched too thin so it's  hard to find time for grief counseling. I feel so bad for him. I want to help him get through this. I'm also nervous about adding a new baby into this stress.

Ugggh. 

[Jalapeñomel]

(((Hugs)) to you and your DH

[lime]

Big hugs to both of you guys.

[Gato]

(((HUGS)))

[daisyheadmaizie]

Such a crappy situation for you all. I'm sorry. I'll be thinking of you guys.

[miniroller]

Oh sonrisa Big Huge Hugs...

[dcannie]

i'm sorry. it's so hard.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry Big hugs.

[Moe]

We had some drastic changes (clearly not like yours) when DH's father died two years ago. He was the same way, there was (for him) no time to grieve, he was in the midst of some professional (and personal, I guess, too) changes where he just used those to push through. Never got grief counseling. It was challenging for me to see, because I just kept waiting for the flood gates to open - given his relationship with his dad (the strongest I've ever seen from probably anyone in my life), I was worried.

It happened in trickles. Not in bursts. Eventually. And in those moments, as cliche as it sounds, I just had to be there for him. To let him talk, to let him vent, to let him get angry at everything that surrounded his last days (so much).

He still, 2 years later, gets really upset, but it subsides. I hope that you both find peace within this very hard time.

[WOT?*]

I'm so sorry for you both. (((sonrisa)))

ETA:  And (((-Moe-))) as well.

[sonrisa]

Thanks for listening. He doesn't want to talk to anyone else about it so I can't either. It's good to have someplace to put it out there and acknowledge it.

[sonrisa]

Nov 6, 2013 12:39:39 GMT -5 Moe said:

It happened in trickles. Not in bursts. Eventually. And in those moments, as cliche as it sounds, I just had to be there for him. To let him talk, to let him vent, to let him get angry at everything that surrounded his last days (so much).

((hugs))

He was stoic until Monday evening and then it was like a dam broke. I feel like I'm a bitch listening and trying to be there for him but also telling him that it's time to head out if he plans to go to work today. I'm afraid to let him fully wallow and let go, but also know he needs some time.

[polka]

I'm sorry, sonrisa. Hugs to you guys.

[CrazyLucky]

DH was borderline depressive before FIL died, and the death sent him into a spiral. It was a rough time. A really rough time. I think it's different for everyone, so I don't have much advice to offer. Just try to be supportive, and if you think he's acting like a jerk, try to keep that to yourself.

[angelaa73]

I'm so sorry. I don't know how he does it. He has to find a way to take care of himself, thougn

[Saint Monica]

((sonrisa&sonrisa'sH))

[Deleted]

my husband did a bit of the same when his grandfather died. it was painful and frustrating to watch, but he worked it out more quickly than i'd feared.

eta:  i mean the schedule management.  he was obviously grieving on his own timeline.  i think the busy-ness even sort of helped during the crash since he "had" to keep it together,

[cleo29]

I'm so sorry Maybe some unconventional therapy that will be flexible enough with his packed schedule?

[flex]

((hugs)) It's a very long process. It'll get worse before it gets better.

[revolution]

I'm sorry. It's so hard on both of you. Vent away if you need to. It's such a long and hard process to go through.

[Moe]

Nov 6, 2013 12:46:30 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Nov 6, 2013 12:39:39 GMT -5 Moe said:

It happened in trickles. Not in bursts. Eventually. And in those moments, as cliche as it sounds, I just had to be there for him. To let him talk, to let him vent, to let him get angry at everything that surrounded his last days (so much).

((hugs))

He was stoic until Monday evening and then it was like a dam broke. I feel like I'm a bitch listening and trying to be there for him but also telling him that it's time to head out if he plans to go to work today. I'm afraid to let him fully wallow and let go, but also know he needs some time.

Oh man, that's got to be tough. 

Hugs to the both of you.