I'm not cut out to be a hockey mom.

[nahoku]

Max had practice at 8:40 and we love about 10 min away from the rink. Started getting the three of us ready at 8 thinking it would be plenty of time. We didn't leave until 8:46 :/

once we got there it took me like another ten min to get his freakish skates on. Poor dude was practically crying asking if he can stop playing hockey bc it's all too hard. I'm a hockey mom failure.

[rugbywife]

DH and I have talked a lot about this because kids playing hockey, especially boys, is so common here. I have no idea what we will do...especially if our kid ends up being good and wants to play rep. DH never played rep hockey, only rep baseball, but his dad coached so it was easier. I really think I will suck at being a hockey mom. DH thinks I am going to be the one screaming that the kids from the other team, lol.

[thebreakfastclub]

My old boss was a hockey and baseball mom. Saturday practice and games begin at 7 am at the rink 45 minutes away. I shudder.

[Captain Serious]

I know it's not exactly the same thing, but I was bound and determined for my boys to love skiing/snowboarding. It's also an early-morning, cold sport requiring they get into lots of layers and equipment. The first outing or two each year is horrific, until they get on the hill.

Here's the thing: it get's so much easier. You all get into a routine, you come up with ways of storing/drying stuff so it's right there when you need it, the kids get used to layering, and the equipment seems to just slip on the longer the season goes. Wishing you luck!

[rugbywife]

Nov 9, 2013 10:36:15 GMT -5 mooselovah said:

We are going to screw up our kids - but we have decided to never enrolled in formal hockey. For either kid. Thy can watch and play street hockey - but we won't enrolled.

My fil gives us a lot of shit for this.

This would be me except that DH says that if we have a kid who really wants to play, especially if all his/her friends play, it would just be mean. I am fine with being mean, lol.  DH not so much. Maybe it is different because he played.  Neither of my brothers played. I would like to say that they turned out fine but I can't, although that has nothing to do with not playing hockey. 

[rugbywife]

My brothers did snowboarding in Montreal, on weekends. They loved it.

One of my issues is similar to @quesera's...the sanctioned violence thing...lets just say that the ratio of nice hockey player kids I have had at school vs. the super physical 'this is normal on the rink so its fine in the hall' hockey kids isn't ideal.

[rugbywife]

Nov 9, 2013 10:45:56 GMT -5 Que? said:

Nov 9, 2013 10:40:39 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

I know it's not exactly the same thing, but I was bound and determined for my boys to love skiing/snowboarding. It's also an early-morning, cold sport requiring they get into lots of layers and equipment. The first outing or two each year is horrific, until they get on the hill.

Here's the thing: it get's so much easier. You all get into a routine, you come up with ways of storing/drying stuff so it's right there when you need it, the kids get used to layering, and the equipment seems to just slip on the longer the season goes. Wishing you luck!

This is different though. Skiing is a family sport and it required nowhere near the time commitment as a kid playing rep hockey. Or maybe it's the nature of the time commitment. People with kids in rep hockey spend enery single weekend driving to nowhere towns and hanging out for hours on end. Our entire family revolved around my brother's tournament schedule.

Yes!!! And if you have two kids? In two different sports? Eek. Sigh, I wonder if we can be 'done with one'.

[Deleted]

I solved this problem by putting H in charge of all hockey related crap.

[rugbywife]

So I just asked DH again and he said: "yeah, if my kid wants to play they are going to play, but I am not going to pressure his/her into rep and if he/she does go into rep I am going to make sure they aren't a meathead".

[tdk2]

Random: I live in hockey area (well, and lots of sports) but married and Aussie. He's into cricket and golf. Baseball & softball were my big sport. We have a debate whether she should learn to catch with a mitt or barehanded.


And hockey and swimming are hard ones for parents. I'm sorry! I'm hoping we don't get too diehard on any of them though I would to support my kid if that's where the talent and love lie. But dude. That's rough.

[rugbywife]

Nov 9, 2013 10:49:16 GMT -5 Que? said:

Nov 9, 2013 10:47:47 GMT -5 fields said:

I solved this problem by putting H in charge of all hockey related crap.

Except when they are both playing on different teams.

yep...which means unless you have twins...

One of my teachers at school has a daughter in rep...she only works 75% of the day because it is so time consuming. Her other daughter plays an instrument, which involves lessons but not the constant competitions.

[tdk2]

2 words:

Travel hockey



Omg. Friends w kids on travel hockey- that's just nuts. And the kids play on SO many teams.

Hockey equipment smells foul too.

[Deleted]

Nov 9, 2013 10:49:16 GMT -5 Que? said:

Nov 9, 2013 10:47:47 GMT -5 fields said:

I solved this problem by putting H in charge of all hockey related crap.

Except when they are both playing on different teams.

Lol.  That's when O switch them to soccer!!

[tdk2]

Nov 9, 2013 10:49:28 GMT -5 mooselovah said:

Nov 9, 2013 10:47:47 GMT -5 fields said:

I solved this problem by putting H in charge of all hockey related crap.

Is it the same in the states? Cnd have this whole hockey identity.

I'm not sure that it is all over. Maybe MN and WI too. In MI it's pretty involved as well, though I suspect Canada is still more so.

[Deleted]

Nov 9, 2013 10:49:28 GMT -5 mooselovah said:

Nov 9, 2013 10:47:47 GMT -5 fields said:

I solved this problem by putting H in charge of all hockey related crap.

Is it the same in the states? Cnd have this whole hockey identity.

It's fairly hardcore here, but I'm guessing not as much as in Canada.  

[nahoku]

Nov 9, 2013 10:47:47 GMT -5 fields said:

I solved this problem by putting H in charge of all hockey related crap.

H is out of town! He's much better at being a hockey parent than me.

[Captain Serious]

Nov 9, 2013 10:45:56 GMT -5 Que? said:

Nov 9, 2013 10:40:39 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

I know it's not exactly the same thing, but I was bound and determined for my boys to love skiing/snowboarding. It's also an early-morning, cold sport requiring they get into lots of layers and equipment. The first outing or two each year is horrific, until they get on the hill.

Here's the thing: it get's so much easier. You all get into a routine, you come up with ways of storing/drying stuff so it's right there when you need it, the kids get used to layering, and the equipment seems to just slip on the longer the season goes. Wishing you luck!

This is different though. Skiing is a family sport and it required nowhere near the time commitment as a kid playing rep hockey. Or maybe it's the nature of the time commitment. People with kids in rep hockey spend enery single weekend driving to nowhere towns and hanging out for hours on end. Our entire family revolved around my brother's tournament schedule.

Honest question, though,how is this different than any club sport? M's football team has 2-hour practices each weekday when school is not in session, and three 2-hour sessions each week once school starts. We have to drive to his games, which can be anywhere in the region. They each last 1.5 hours and the players have to arrive 1.5 hours early. I'm told all the local sports clubs have similar schedules.

[starlily]

Nov 9, 2013 10:53:53 GMT -5 fields said:

Nov 9, 2013 10:49:28 GMT -5 mooselovah said:

Is it the same in the states? Cnd have this whole hockey identity.

It's fairly hardcore here, but I'm guessing not as much as in Canada.  

That's my guess too. I'm more into figure skating, but I know that at most of the ice rinks in California hockey is what brings the money in and keeps the rinks open.

[rugbywife]

Nov 9, 2013 11:02:38 GMT -5 Que? said:

Nov 9, 2013 10:59:09 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

Honest question, though,how is this different than any club sport? M's football team has 2-hour practices each weekday when school is not in session, and three 2-hour sessions each week once school starts. We have to drive to his games, which can be anywhere in the region. They each last 1.5 hours and the players have to arrive 1.5 hours early. I'm told all the local sports clubs have similar schedules.

I was comparing it to recreational skiing, which is a choice.

Hockey requires the biggest time commitment by far of any team sport, hands down.

It is INSANE. And the worst part of it is access to ice time issues. It makes for a) crazy ass schedules and b) last minute changes to the schedules.  It is brutal. 

[thebreakfastclub]

Hockey is big here. The number of youth teams have really expanded as a revenue stream for the rink. It is easily over $1000 a year not including travel.

I already work full time, so I really don't feel like wasting my weekends at a practice field. I am interested in rec soccer that meets once a week or a fun YMCA thing for this kid.

[Captain Serious]

I do realize that limited ice time leads to crazy/early/late practices and times.

I was just trying to relate on the getting ready early with a ton of equipment front when I mentioned skiing. I thought it might help to know that it typically gets easier as the season goes on.

I think all serious club sports require a significant time investment of the families, not just the players. Between the practices, games, work/volunteer hours (is this a thing everywhere else, too?), I've found the entire family revolves around the sport of the season.

[dexteroni]

Poor kiddo. I would have disenrolled him today. lol. Is there some reason you guys are making him stick it out if he hates it? Or does he like it once he gets out onto the ice?

Any sport situation - hockey, figure skating, travel teams - where you have to devote the majority of your free time, and some of your otherwise occupied time, is no bueno to me. That's not chlidhood. /gavel

[Redpoppy]

Part of me wants to encourage and support DS in sports and the other part thinks that the genetic odds are not in his favor to excel in any. I don't know if I have it in me for club/travel teams.

We have put DS in ice skating class only because it is a skill we want him to learn and he can do better with outside instruction. We are pond hockey people though. Last year when DS and DH played on the pond by us it was the cutest thing.

[CurlyQ284]

I don't know about hockey but my brother played competitive baseball and I remember being at the ball field all day sometimes. He played from March/April until October in different leagues. I read a lot of books and ate a ton of jolly ranchers. You could get like a million of them for a quarter from the concession stand.

[SusanBAnthony]

I have major issues with head injuries for hockey (and football, and soccer headers and being a goalie). So it is a big no for that reason alone.

That said, how do all these people afford to do it? I don't understand that part.

It is also a big no in our house because of the time commitment. Neither DH nor I have any interest in spending all of our weekends on some sport. So selfishly, I just won't do it. There are a lot of sacrifices I am willing to make for my kids, but ALL of my weekends is not one of them.

I hope my kids are in sports and activities they enjoy, but it doesn't need to be their whole life. They are young enough that we haven't had to face those choices yet, but I know we will have to tell them no at some point. In fact, they already do horse back riding lessons, and that could easily become a huge $$$ issue of us telling them no. And that's ok- that's life. They can't have everything they want in life, might as well learn that lesson sooner rather than later.

[rugbywife]

I will say that my kid will do SOMETHING...even if he/she doesn't really want to. I think 'sticking with something' builds resiliency. My parents never made me stick with anything and I essentially have NOTHING that I am 'good at'...like nothing. I eventually became a great student (late university really) when I learned how to work the system, until then I was lucky enough to just be smart enough to fool everyone. I am good at things I need for my job but other than that, I have nothing that I can really do well, I never competed at anything really (grade 9 track is the exception, and I wasn't good at it by a long shot), I can't play an instrument, I am not artsy or athletic. I do speak two languages fluently and that is the only thing my parents were completely adamant about. Other than that, I tried a lot of things but never suffered through the 'hard part'. As a result, I feel like I really like doing things I am 'good at' or that come easily, but am much less inclined to suffer through the parts of learning that are tough and uncomfortable.

I do want my kids to play sports, or learn an instrument, do an art of some kind...my experience as a educator tells me that the students who do these things feel a sense of self-worth that is very important and worthwhile, especially for girls.

[rugbywife]

Nov 9, 2013 12:08:59 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

My mom's life revolved around my brother's hockey. She was the ultimate hockey mom. I hated it. If I had a kid I would literally forbid them to play hockey.

Did you get to do anything? Like, equivalent to your brother's hockey? Or did you end up getting fewer experiences as a result of his?

[delawarejen]

My parents' rule was no organized sports until middle school - when you could do them at school and take the late bus home. The problem with that approach is that it's hard to catch up at 11 when other kids have been playing since 3. We had basic swim lessons before then, but as a safety thing. I did have some activities later though.

[rugbywife]

Nov 9, 2013 12:50:02 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

Nov 9, 2013 12:11:20 GMT -5 rugbywife said:

Did you get to do anything? Like, equivalent to your brother's hockey? Or did you end up getting fewer experiences as a result of his?

I played soccer and figure skated for a while but my mom wasn't nearly as involved. I remember my mom went to my figure skating year end performance (two nights of shows) and I fell, and I really wanted her to go to the next night's show so she could see me do it and not fall but she was all "nope, your brother has hockey." I am still bitter about that.

That sucks Nugget, I would be bitter too.  That's not fair to you at all.  

[nahoku]

Nov 9, 2013 11:51:52 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Poor kiddo. I would have disenrolled him today. lol. Is there some reason you guys are making him stick it out if he hates it? Or does he like it once he gets out onto the ice?

He was fine once he got on the ice! We were both just anxious and frustrated trying to get ready. Overall though, that's how he kind of is with his activities. Some days he doesn't "feel like it," but then he enjoys it once he's actually doing it.

This is only his second year and it's not a huge time commitment yet, only 1-2 practices a week. He gets to decide if he continued with it next year (I don't think he will). Hockey is huge in mn so he knows that if he might possibly maybe want to play it in jr high or high school, he needs to keep playing.

Glad I'm not alone on this sports mom stuff!