Post by themoneytree on Nov 10, 2013 19:26:01 GMT -5
H has two conference calls on Saturdays a couple of times a month and occasionally gets dragged into work if there is an emergency, but he recently got a promotion and a new boss and the requests are ramping up.
He's been getting texts as late as 10.30pm on weeknights (we go to bed at 10pm) and at weekends.
It's becoming frustrating because it's really starting to eat into our family time and H has a high stress job without it spilling into all our at home time.
So for those in middle/ upper management - is this normal for you?
H just got a text asking if he had solved a problem which he was alerted to yesterday so now he's all stressed out at the end of the weekend. I feel like he needs to have a discussion about boundaries with his boss, but it's been a long time since I was an employee so I'm not sure what is normal.
H has two conference calls on Saturdays a couple of times a month and occasionally gets dragged into work if there is an emergency, but he recently got a promotion and a new boss and the requests are ramping up.
He's been getting texts as late as 10.30pm on weeknights (we go to bed at 10pm) and at weekends.
It's becoming frustrating because it's really starting to eat into our family time and H has a high stress job without it spilling into all our at home time.
So for those in middle/ upper management - is this normal for you?
H just got a text asking if he had solved a problem which he was alerted to yesterday so now he's all stressed out at the end of the weekend. I feel like he needs to have a discussion about boundaries with his boss, but it's been a long time since I was an employee so I'm not sure what is normal.
Thoughts?
Yep, all the time. Worked about 5 hours yesterday and about 3 hours today. That is a lot for a weekend, most weekends it is about 2 hours, maybe 3-4.
Post by themoneytree on Nov 10, 2013 19:38:53 GMT -5
Ok, thanks for the responses. It makes me feel better that it's not just him, but sad that there really is no time at all to just unwind over here. No wonder people are so stressed out!
This wouldn't fly in most of Europe unless there was a real emergency and that's where most of my employee experience has been (I was self employed over here).
This is the worst it's been ever - he's always been available at weekends, but maybe I'm just noticing it more these days with the baby around.
I'm generally expected to work weekends, and I have an on-call job so I get contacted at all hours for emergencies.
Can your H turn his phone off at 10 p.m. on the weeknights? Or turn it to a "Do Not Disturb" or something similar? IMO, it's one thing to be expected to work weekends and a whole different thing to be ok with getting texts frequently at 10:30 at night. Something's one fire? Call me. It's not important enough for a call? Send me an email and I'll deal with it tomorrow.
Yep, 100% normal, especially if you have responsibility/engage with folks in the middle east and/or asia.
It becomes a new normal after a few years. And the higher you go, the more you can dictate when you actually work on the weekends aka, when it's convenient for you (for me this meant after my kids were in bed.)
Ok, thanks for the responses. It makes me feel better that it's not just him, but sad that there really is no time at all to just unwind over here. No wonder people are so stressed out!
This wouldn't fly in most of Europe unless there was a real emergency and that's where most of my employee experience has been (I was self employed over here).
This is the worst it's been ever - he's always been available at weekends, but maybe I'm just noticing it more these days with the baby around.
Sure it flies in Europe. I did the same thing when I lived in England.
I do about 15 -20 minutes of work at home every week night and Sunday but not more than that. I've refused promotions that will require excess hours. I will not wish I'd worked more hours at the end of my life or retirement, whichever comes first.
I do get promotions, I get great raises, I get fabulous reviews because I work like a fiend the hours I'm there(for those that were wondering) They know when I leave for the day, except for what I mentioned above, that I'm done and I leave it there. I know, they know and they know I know that if I leave they are in a world of hurt and I can back it up.
Yep, 100% normal, especially if you have responsibility/engage with folks in the middle east and/or asia.
It becomes a new normal after a few years. And the higher you go, the more you can dictate when you actually work on the weekends aka, when it's convenient for you (for me this meant after my kids were in bed.)
He has a team in India so that's a factor.
It seems to be working in reverse for us. The higher he goes the more weekend and late night demands. Gah!
My husband and I are both expected to work whenever needed -- nights, weekends, holidays, when we're on vacation... It has nothing to do with seniority -- that's been the expectation since day 1 of our careers.
Yep, 100% normal, especially if you have responsibility/engage with folks in the middle east and/or asia.
It becomes a new normal after a few years. And the higher you go, the more you can dictate when you actually work on the weekends aka, when it's convenient for you (for me this meant after my kids were in bed.)
He has a team in India so that's a factor.
It seems to be working in reverse for us. The higher he goes the more weekend and late night demands. Gah!
Hmmm, usually India teams work US local hours or at least try to overlap. And I didn't say there would be less nights/weekends, just more control over scheduling
H's boss used to have a job where his team was in India, and he still keeps the craziest hours. He sends texts to MH at all hours but H is not expected to read or respond to them.
I think working on weekends is somewhat normal in a lot of fields. Answering questions regarding an issue that came up during the week doesn't seem unusual.
Post by themoneytree on Nov 11, 2013 7:30:36 GMT -5
He's officially a consultant, but he was hired for a specific client so there's a lot less travel.
In this situation his boss asked him a question on Saturday, he responded and figured he would pick it up on Monday as a to-do item, and his boss texted asking for an update on Sunday night and asking if he had spoken to the team in India (they aren't there at the weekend) and several US based colleagues.
H has always worked weekends for his regular conference calls and emergencies, but this feels different. Like it should have been handled on Monday not Sunday.
But what do I know - it's not my job! I just felt really bad for him. He stresses out about his job all the time, but comes across very confident and together. I feel it is important for his health to have down time, but he's still looking up the career ladder and it's his choice to make.
I would just rather have less money and a smaller house than a husband who is super stressed. A lot of his male family members have died pretty young, it really worries me.
DH just took a new job that had an expectation of 55-60 hours a week. He now works most nights a week and usually has things he needs to do on on the weekend in order to stay on top of things. He was in a management roll previously and he had work to do a few nights, but not much on the weekends. Last week he had a meeting at 9pm Friday night. He had to rush home from a friend's bday dinner to do a call then met us back at friend's house after the call.
He is working with people here in Shanghai, in Michigan, and in the U.K. Most of his night meetings are meetings that are scheduled so that people in the U.S. and in China can be on the call.
I'm thrilled for our (hopefully) new apartment - it has an office off the bedroom which is on a separate floor from the living room so DH can do his calls and work in there rather than in our current dining room which has nothing to keep sound from traveling to the living room.
I'm not in management but I do work nights, weekends, and I'm expected to work during our holiday break between Christmas & New Year.
Last week was horrible. I think I worked very close to 60 hours and my normal schedule is 8-4.30. this week i have two meetings that will mean 12 hour days and also I have to work the next three Sundays.
It does interfere w/my time w/DH (no kids at home) but that's just part of the job and he understands. He doesn't always like it, but he understands.
There are no weekends/nights in dh's world. He works every evening and every weekend, though he can pass lower level anticipated stuff off to an employee if they arrange it in advance. He owns an it consulting firm and consults himself. His specialties are in the global it realm for large companies do ignoring issues isn't an option. Vacations require lots of coordination with his partners. It's just how it is.
This is why I'm a sahm. He works as much as 2 people. I don't know how he does it.
Yes, I work every other weekend Friday night-Sunday. My H has to take calls at 6am frequently, as well as week nights. Last night he was working, too. He has to work around people's schedules in a few different time zones, however,
Post by dragonfly08 on Nov 11, 2013 12:24:06 GMT -5
DH is a project manager, and while nights/weekends aren't the norm he is absolutely expected to be available if necessary. He used to have to carry a pager so that he'd be on call 24/7, but at least now the jobs he works on aren't so critical that he has to respond immediately, just ASAP.
Post by mellimel19 on Nov 11, 2013 12:38:18 GMT -5
On occasion I will need to stay late or do some work at home in the evenings or on the weekend. However, it's pretty rare.
DH works for a production company that builds sets for fashion shows and events, and he works many long nights and weekends for about 2 months out of the year. Though lately his company has picked up a lot more jobs and he has worked quite a few weekends recently. It's been good because with the baby on the way we could use the money, but I worry about what things will be like once the baby is here if work doesn't die down a little for him.