Post by themoneytree on Nov 11, 2013 21:49:36 GMT -5
One of my childhood friends married her first cousin and moved to South Africa with him. They're divorced now, but no one seemed to think anything of it.
Pretty sure it was a second cousin. More distant than a first cousin for sure.
I am LOL that its MM that harbors the inbred. Because it is VERY MM to marry your cousin. Half as many wedding guests. Just one family to visit for holidays. Half as many funerals to attend.
Post by fuckyourcouch on Nov 11, 2013 22:09:40 GMT -5
My parents had to get a blood test to get married, but it seemed more geared towards ability to procreate. The clerk was all, "you know she can't have children right?" To my dad, who was all wtf is wrong with you to the clerk.
And then they magically had me anyway. FYC: breaker of blood test rules.
Post by thedutchgirl on Nov 11, 2013 22:10:59 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. This is bizarre. Has he ever had a cold sore? It is possible that he was exposed as a child by family. Just because he tests positive (if his results are even back already), doesn't mean he got it from you.
You never talked about it before sex? Even if you knew you'd told him in the past, i can't imagine just infecting him without mentioning it. Like, "Ok, we're doing this, you're gonna get herpes now, hope this sex is worth it"? Or is he just cool with condoms and never asked questions?
Hmm. That seems unnecessarily ignorant and bitchy.
It really doesn't make any sense that this hasn't come up again. If you're getting treated or prophylaxed, wouldn't you want to check in with him every now and then to see how he's addressing the risk on his end? Didn't you ever wonder?
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
You never talked about it before sex? Even if you knew you'd told him in the past, i can't imagine just infecting him without mentioning it. Like, "Ok, we're doing this, you're gonna get herpes now, hope this sex is worth it"? Or is he just cool with condoms and never asked questions?
Hmm. That seems unnecessarily ignorant and bitchy.
Uh, yeah. That's stupid.
If they already talked about it than she wouldn't need to bring it up as the foreplay started.
Crack, how did you know you have it if you don't have outbreaks?
Did you have tests run after your ex cheated? Or did you have an initial outbreak and then no more after or something?
You never talked about it before sex? Even if you knew you'd told him in the past, i can't imagine just infecting him without mentioning it. Like, "Ok, we're doing this, you're gonna get herpes now, hope this sex is worth it"? Or is he just cool with condoms and never asked questions?
You never talked about it before sex? Even if you knew you'd told him in the past, i can't imagine just infecting him without mentioning it. Like, "Ok, we're doing this, you're gonna get herpes now, hope this sex is worth it"? Or is he just cool with condoms and never asked questions?
Wait, do you know anything about HSV? With no reoccuring outbreaks and little to no asymptomatic shedding it's a small chance that her husband would be infected. Even if he was, plenty of people have it in their system (type 1 and 2) and never show symptoms... A sufficient, in depth conversation before they're intimate seems like it would be enough - as long as their partner knows they can ask questions and inquire whenever, obviously. Do you think she should start every round of sex like "oh hey baby, there's a miniscule chance I could pass on the herpes virus, remember! You cool with that??"
Anyways, to the OP, he maybe just need time to calm down and handle it. It's weird that he doesn't remember but perhaps he blocked the conversation selectively, as I assume you did tell him since you remember it so clearly. Hopefully whatever the results of his blood test are, you can talk about it openly and both get to a good understanding.
I'm so sorry. This is bizarre. Has he ever had a cold sore? It is possible that he was exposed as a child by family. Just because he tests positive (if his results are even back already), doesn't mean he got it from you.
This is a different kind of herpes. The herpes you're talking about, everyone has (even if you've never gotten a cold sore.. It's something like 95% of the population carries the virus). She's talking about genital herpes. They do test for both kinds.
I don't understand your point. She DID tell him. They were living together when she was being treated for it. Is she supposed to remind him of it every time they have sex? "Oh, remember honey, I have the herp. Still want to?"
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
Livvy's post was crudely worded and inflammatory, but she has a point. The H should have remembered, but the OP might have done well to be more proactive in making sure he understood his risk and was at least being tested periodically.
Ignorant because........? Oh, I guess it's cool to potentially infect people as long as you've mentioned it in conversation in the past, before sleeping together was on the table? Or it doesn't need to be discussed because they're married so he doesn't have a choice anyway? Or do people think he isnt likely to ever get it from her, so she never needed to bring it up?
What more is she supposed to do after she told him? Hand him an engraved invitation with warnings listed at the bottom each time they had sex?
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
You don't have to ask before every encounter of course. But if your infection is suppressed you should still make sure that your partner is uninfected, or if infected, being treated.
Not doing so increases the risk of developing a resistant strain of HSV.
Post by lexxasaurus on Nov 11, 2013 22:41:47 GMT -5
I get making sure he understands the risks... But why would he get periodically tested? If only the two of them are sleeping together (and they're married so I assume that's the case) and he isn't showing any symptoms, why get the blood test? It's far less reliable than having a sore tested so it might not even give him the correct result.
I forget a lot of shit, but I can't imagine forgetting my spouse had the herp. Hell my ex spouse probably does have the herp now, and I am pretty sure I won't forget that.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
You don't have to ask before every encounter of course. But if your infection is suppressed you should still make sure that your partner is uninfected, or if infected, being treated.
Not doing so increases the risk of developing a resistant strain of HSV.
There's the door sweetpea, I would hate for you to continue to hang with people who are so dumb.
Livvy's post was crudely worded and inflammatory, but she has a point. The H should have remembered, but the OP might have done well to be more proactive in making sure he understood his risk and was at least being tested periodically.
I hear you but my guess is she was taking care of herself, had no outbreaks and assumed he 'remembered' and that all was well. This is truly one of our most bizarre post.
I'm just saying that both partners should discuss frequently because the risk of acquiring either a new or resistant infection goes both ways. Of course I don't know all the details, but it's odd that it wasn't discussed more than once. Or even a few times.
And I am sorry @crackhabit. I don't know if i already said that before, but I don't even have the energy to go check. So if this is a dupe, then you get double hugs. Fuck it double hugs anyway ::hugs::
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"