My town! They've caught it!

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Well, they probably have always had it, but this is the first time I've heard anyone say it IRL.

Scene:At the grocery store just now

Actors: Me,behind two insufferable olds, and the insufferably, impossibly slow, chatty employee

The store used to do this promotion in the fall where your purchases would add up, and you got so much off a turkey/a turkey for free, depending on how many points you had.  I guess they're not doing it this year.  I guess olds really like free turkeys.

Old 1:  I can't believe it!  Companies have got so greedy anymore!
Employee:  *impossibly long, boring story, that makes her ring things out even slower, about this guy who runs a home who used to buy 22 turkeys and one time accidentally bought a duck, he didn't know how to cook a duck, Employee doesn't even know how to cook a duck*
Olds: *overlapping directions on how to cook a duck*
Old 2:  HONEY, JUST GO TO YOUR MOTHERS.
Employee:  But yeah, lots of people have been up in arms about their turkeys.
Old 2:  Just goes ta show ya.  THANKS, OBAMA.
Olds, Employee:

Ombligo:

Old 1:  It's those welfare slums!!  Freeloaders!!
Old 2:  Sucking up the system!!
Employee:  I have welfare.  Me and my kids.
Olds:

Ombligo:

Old 1: Well HONEY, you're not one of THEM.  You WORK.  THEY'RE THE ONES MESSING IT UP FOR ALL OF US!!!
Someone else, I have no idea who could have done it: PHRIIGHHMMBGGHH!11
Olds, Employee, Ombligo:

Ombligo: GEE, SOUNDS LIKE SUMUN'S DYIN'!!
Olds, Employee:  *fall for it*


Now I'm having one of those moments where I realize I should have instead yelled something like "holy SHIT thur's a poor chokin' on thur skittles!!!"  And they really would have fallen for it.  And we all would have had a hearty laugh.  And then I would have snapped a neck.
This sounds dumb now that I wrote it all out.  But that was a lot of work.  Keeping it.

[bittybomb]

holy shit.  that was funny.  thank you. 

[TrickyBob]

Lol

[snickers]

lol

[rex]

Your stories are my favorite.

[textbookcase]

God, I love a good Ombligest story.

[kiminky]

I love a story with pictures.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using proboards

[janiejones]

Nov 12, 2013 15:35:51 GMT -5 Loco Coco said:

I don't think over told you this, but I love you. Probably not in a ski suit way but I make no promises. This is hilarious.

 

[Deleted]

Bravo! I hope you bought some skittles for comedic value: