So, I posted that I was disappointed that SIL didn't want me to host her shower in my house. And wise MLs told me that different families do it differently, it's okay, her sisters were enthusiastic, maybe I over stepped, let it go. So I got over it. I bought a nice gift off her registry.
Now, I found out that her sisters aren't planning anything. There is no reservation in a hall where sisters are bringing food and decorations. She has nothing planned and no one is helping her. So she's running around and calling places and looking HERSELF.
I reach out to her and ask her what she really wants and really listen. Not at a house. Fine. Casual. Fine. Somewhere BIL likes. Fine. I find an available restaurant, that has a nice room, with a great view - right in their neighborhood. It triples my budget but I don't care. They go there all the time. BIL really likes the place. Enthusiastically, she told me to put a deposit down. Then called back a few hours later and said no. She only wants a hall. It has to be a hall.
Why? Because BIL wants a place he can bring a beer keg. He doesn't want to participate in a Jack & Jill (SIL really, really wants it to be J&J) unless its "casual" and that means no house and no restaurant. He wants a hall. Only.
Where does he get the nerve?
I do not understand why you keep trying to help. It is sweet of you, but seriously, just let them deal with their own clusterf**k.
They sound tacky. I'm laughing at his definition of casual. There are quite a few stops on the casual train before you get to a potluck kegger in a hall.
Three times over your budget? Nope. I mean I get that you didn't end up booking the restaurant but don't start going over your budget for these ungrateful people.
I think this is getting lost in the general outrage, but the place you were going to be booking today was THREE times over your budget? WTF? Offer your house or wish her good luck and be done with it. Even if she 'settles' for the less desirable restaurant, your still being taken advantage of.
Post by flutterfly on Nov 13, 2013 16:37:50 GMT -5
Wow, at this point let them plan their own shower or find someone that can handle all of these demands. Hope you can get the deposit back, that is ridiculous.
People who rebuff generous offers and lie about it don't get any further offers. You are done here.
My next reply would be "OK, you and Chucklefuck seem to have very specific wants, so I'm going to let you two take it all from here. See you at the shower!" And it's probably a good idea to add something about how you are just a guest and are no longer offering to foot the bill, but I'm not quite sure how to word that. I'll think about it.