You may or may not remember the wedding I went to last week, for which my mom was to babysit. Then she tried to get out of it? And then she decided to do it afterall?
Well, during that evening, I told her that she could put Henry down in his crib after rocking him to sleep, and that he might sleep for an hour or so in there, but then will wake up and need to be rocked again.
She was fine with this.
She disapproves of my cosleeping however, and thinks I need to let him cry it out. I told her this is not something we want to do. Please don't try to do it tonight. He will puke if you let him cry.
Fine. she will rock, etc.
Fast forward to today. As I'm cleaning Henry's room I find puke spatters all up the back of the crib and the wall. I know they weren't there before last weekend. I didn't notice them during the week yet because he is rarely in his crib and hasn't been since the weekend when she had him in there.
I am so upset thinking of him in there alone for who knows how long, screaming and covered in vomit.
I am so mad that she deliberately did exactly what I asked her not to do.
I would have even been okay if she told me about it. I wouldn't have been thrilled, but if she just say "hey, I'm sorry, he barfed in his crib. you were right. Haha". I would have gotten over it pretty quick.
He has also been incredibly clingy with some crazy separation anxiety going on all week.
She also told my sister that he "was awful and cried the whole time", but told me none of this.
I haven't talked to her yet, and I don't know how to. She will lie.
I seriously shook with anger when I found the puke and then wanted to cry. She won't be watching him again.
Well, first you don't know that she didn't clean up him, etc., after he vomited. So that line of thinking is over reacting, I think.
But she should have listened to you because you're his mom. I'm very sorry I kind of know what you mean, my mom doesn't listen to me very well, either. So I don't think your "she won't be watching him" is out of line.
I'd probably just tell her straight out "I found this on the crib. I had told you what to do and what not to do, so I'm sorry, but you won't be watching him again."
Post by mommyneedswine on Jun 28, 2012 10:47:11 GMT -5
I would be livid to. I get that grandparents, sitters, etc. will do things parents may not be thrilled over, but this is over the top for me. It's one thing to let him cry, but you told her what would happen. She was wrong and knew it. She should have been honest with you at the time. Since she wasn't, I agree that you have the right to be pissed.
:*( I'm sorry. I'd be upset too. Hopefully she got him right after he threw up and he didn't lie there in it....but really she should have just listened to you in the first place.
Kind of like my parents who fed my kid nothing but junk food for an entire week, to the point in which he puked in their living room. Then said it was there prerogative as a grandparent. Nope. Nada.
Ninja, I agree with you in that I don't know for sure what happened. It kills me that I won't ever, either, because I know she will boldfaced lie. I just hope she cleaned him up quickly. The thing that gets me thought is that he was in the same sleeper I left out for him... And then I remembered that he has 2 the same! Sneaky, sneaky!
Post by daisyheadmaizie on Jun 28, 2012 10:56:41 GMT -5
I would be livid. Not only did she flat ignore what you told her, but then she went to extremes to hide it. I can't believe she even went so far to change him into the a duplicate sleeper to hide her wrong doings.
The best advice I got after having DD came from the pediatrician.
If whoever doesn't listen to your rules in regards to your child they don't get to watch your child.
Don't let her watch your child, she didn't listen to you.
I love this advice. I also lucky to have a step MIL and a MIL that are nearby and do what I say! They couldn't watch him this time though, because it was a family wedding.
This is exactly why I don't let my Mom watch either of my kids. She let DD CIO after I told her not to, DD puked and my Mom reprimaned me for giving my daughter anxiety and seperation issues. The downside is that we don't have any one else close by to watch our kids.
I would be really angry too. She did exactly what you told her not to do, and then wasn't honest about it. No matter what SHE thinks you should be doing, she is not the parent. You are, and what you say goes. She was way wrong and you have every right to be upset.
Post by speckledfrog on Jun 28, 2012 11:02:50 GMT -5
I don't think you are overreacting. I'm pretty sure I would go rage blind. No use confronting her about it if she's going to be an even bigger ass about it. I would rant and rail to MH, though, just to get it all out. Definitely no more babysitting.
That my friend is bullshit. I am pretty laid back with how the grandparents do things versus how I do them but I would be so pissed if this happened. It is so disrespectful and there was no point to it. I mean can she not handle rocking her grandchild ONE night? It is like she was hellbent on proving you wrong? Duh you know your child better than she does!
Post by saraandmichael on Jun 28, 2012 11:05:08 GMT -5
you are for sure not overreacting. in fact, you are a better person than i am because i would have been on the phone already with full fucking anger directed at my mom.
i would still tell her that you know she let him cry in his crib, no matter how much she lies about it. hell...lie back and tell her you have a nanny cam that caught it.
and i would never, ever let her watch my child again.
and finally, i would start looking for a babysitter that i could trust.