Ex is pissing me off

[formerlyak]

So I contacted my ex to plan ds' birthday. We do a joint one. When he was in preschool, we agreed to do one every other year and then something special for just him in the off years. This was because in preschool the parties were these big blowouts with like 30 kids and it got expensive.

Now that he is in grade school, I was under the impression that we'd just do a smaller one each year. DS wants a bowling party so I got the info and sent it to my ex asking if the Sunday that ds' birthday is on works. He first tried to back out of doing a party. I fought that one. And won.

He told me he had to check with his gf to see if that date worked. I kindly reminded him that per our custody agreement, we both get time with ds on his actual birthday and doing his party that day would accomplish that (ds' birthday happens to fall on ex's weekend this year). He said he still had to check with gf. Really? Tell her it is your kid's birthday and there will be a party that day!

I hate that he has to incorporate her into every decision! They aren't married. She's a slutty bitch who had an affair with him. She shouldn't get a say in my kid's life like that.

Vent over.

[Deleted]

Umm that blows. It's his kid's BIRTHDAY. That IS the plan. I'm sorry AK!

[doriswe]

That sucks....I hope his g/f can give him his balls back so he can make his own decisions soon!

[ravenb1111]

Yea, what does he mean check with the gf.. Does this gf have a child of her own? I thought if you date somebody with a child they come as a package.. Ya know meaning the kid comes first.. Especially on their birthday..

[starburst604]

That's just bullshit. I hate him for you.

[stephbfan]

I bet he is doing it because he knows it pisses you off. He will still come and says that GF said it is ok, we can have the party.

[chrissie3416]

ummm is the gf planning on coming to the party...id be putting the kibosh on that one.

[callunafirefly]

I seriously don't understand these women. If my guy was like "heyy jimmy's b-day is next sunday, ex wants to throw a party - you in?" Either I am (if its that kind of situation) or if I'm busy - I'm not. "Sorry - can't make it, you go have fun." Why do they think they have a say in the plans for these sorts of things?? I almost feel like guessing this woman has no kids of her own.

[lovelybb]

That sucks, I'm sorry. D's ex is having a graduation party tomorrow for their son and he will be there for a bit. Do I care? Nope. Would I go if I were free? Yep. Did D ask if the date was ok with me before he ok'd it with his ex? Nope? Do I give a shit? Nope. It's their son, and D should obviously spend as much time with him as he can w/o needing my permission.

[nextchapter]

That's stupid. What exactly does he have to check with her about?

[StormyDixon]

May 10, 2012 17:27:02 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

(ds' birthday happens to fall on ex's weekend this year).

Vent over.

maybe I am missing something here, but if it is your Ex's weekend with the child, shouldn't he be making the decisions, not you?

[stephbfan]

May 11, 2012 9:55:15 GMT -5 StormyDixon said:

May 10, 2012 17:27:02 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

(ds' birthday happens to fall on ex's weekend this year).

Vent over.

maybe I am missing something here, but if it is your Ex's weekend with the child, shouldn't he be making the decisions, not you?

CO specifies that both parents have to spend time with the child on the day of his Bday.

[StormyDixon]

May 11, 2012 10:28:22 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

May 11, 2012 9:55:15 GMT -5 StormyDixon said:

maybe I am missing something here, but if it is your Ex's weekend with the child, shouldn't he be making the decisions, not you?

CO specifies that both parents have to spend time with the child on the day of his Bday.

I saw that, but if it is dad's weekend, shouldn't he be the one making the plans?

[formerlyak]

To answer some questions:

- yes, he needs to grow his balls and tell her the plan for the kid's b-day; he has to "check with his gf" for EVERYTHING.

- yes, it is ex's weekend, but the court order says we both get to spend the day with him on his birthday, so technically it's a split day

- yes, again, it is ex's weekend, but he assumes that since I am the custodial parent, I plan the kid stuff and he just shows up. Since the divorce, we have both been at all birthday parties, graduations, school shows, etc. Both my bf and his gf go to things as well, so that isn't the issue. I am ok with this because he procrastinates and I like to know things are getting done. This is his attitude toward school, soccer, baseball, swimming lessons, after-school care, birthday parties, summer camp, you name it.

[blackkitty]

He sounds just like my XH. He always has to "get back to me". I don't know if he runs it by his sugar momma or if he is just a pita that procrastinates answering me on everything!

[hainesherway]

He's probably just doing it to bug you. What a douche!

[formerlyak]

I actually think he is doing it because he doesn't want to pay for half of it, so he's trying to find an out. Too bad he doesn't have one on this issue. I don't put up a fight for much, but this is one of those battles I will pick if I have to.

[BlueBayou]

Then perhaps HE can explain to your child why he can't come and you have the party anyway and he can still help pay since it is his child.