This post contains free birth control.

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

Swimming with girls in pool. Squeeze Cami. Diarrhea cloud comes out. Panic, grab her, and run into the house, attempting to hold her swim diaper shut (fail). Run upstairs and into bathroom to put Cami in tub. Slip with wet feet, wrench ankle, and catch self by armpit with clawfoot tub (note: I did my first workout yesterday and am VERY SORE). At least I didn't drop Cambria.
Wash baby. Baby is having the best time of her life. Finally get baby clean. Splash some water on her front to rinse and hit tiny vaginie. Pee squirts back out, all over self. Baby immediately splashes in it and then stuffs fingers into mouth.

I'm spent.

[caffeinebean]

Oh, honey. I think it's time for a beer.

[sake]

:beer: :drink: :beer: :drink: :beer: :drink:

({) (})

lots of alcohol and zombie hugs. that sounds terrible. I'm sorry

[bonquiqui]

Omg lol

[bab]

:-( :drink: :N: ({)

[janiejones]

I heard on the radio the health unit is putting on a big "no swimming with Diarrhea" campaign.

Also, OMG. I do not envy you at all.

[speckledfrog]

That is rough.

[underwaterrhymes]

LOL. That's pretty bad.

On the bright side, you sure do tell awesome stories.

[Anne Blythe]

Oh gah. Cheers Mama. That is rough.

[adhdfashion]

Swim diapers are pointless. /gavel

[hymen]

I think I completely blew MIL's mind when I informed her last weekend that swim diapers do not absorb pee.

I can now inform her diarrhea is also not contained. She will be thrilled.

[dowagercountess]

This, this is priceless. Like, I love you so hard right now.

[papie]

Jun 28, 2012 21:11:15 GMT -5 Que? said:

Jun 28, 2012 19:03:05 GMT -5 adhdfashion said:

Swim diapers are pointless. /gavel

Yes. Yes they are.

My worst fear is being the one responsible for closing the public pool. Last summer we went to the outdoor pool and there were kids outside kicking dirt and holding towels. We tried to open the door and this kid is like "don't bother. Some baby shat in there".

I'm dying laughing at this. My kids have never shat i the pool. SO FAR.

omg ombligo, I would die. This is actually further confirmation that I don't want a pool at home. I can just leave the public pool with my baby's poo instead.

[eightangryreindeer]

/rethinks ever cuddling a baby again.

w
o
w

[Deleted]

Swim diapers are such a fucking crock.

(says the woman who has wiped up poop off of a pool deck during someone elses birthday party)

[gozf]

Wait. You have a pool? I'm coming over! Diarrhea cloud be damned!!

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

It is a WTRP that has about 2.5 feet of water in it, because the ground wasn't level. But you are welcome to come. WE SHOCKED IT AND EVERYTHING.

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

I KNEW they were a crock, too, after our BFF's 3 year old sent floaties everywhere when we were all swimming in the hotel pool this fall.

[Ruby Gloom]

A 7.5 yr old floated a log in my sister's pool last summer. My sister was HORRIFIED, as this kid was obviously old enough to know WTF was going on. The kid's mother, however, acted like it was, in fact, NBD, and got her kids out of the pool, dried them off, and took them home. NEVER SAID A WORD! :-|

My sister was like: uhm, wait, you forgot Mr. Hanky here...who's going after the floater?

[tulip]

Omg!! Do you have to drain the pool or add more chemicals?

WTF @ the 7 year old... I would die.

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

A very minimal amount got in the water, as soon as it started, I stood up, made a dam with my hands, and ran for it. We hadn't added any chemicals to it yet, as we just set it up and got the filter working, so we dumped a bunch in.

[emjacobs]

Lesson learned: Never squeeze children, you will break them and they with shoot poo everywhere.

[tigress]

Those days are the worst.

On Tuesday night I had in a 10 minute time span my 4 month old DD poop out the back of her diaper onto her clothes, and then once I got that cleaned up my 3 year old DD peed a large puddle of pee 2 feet away from the toilet (she didn't make it).

[eightangryreindeer]

Well I'll never be using a pool again, that's for sure.

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

You're welcome. That snuggly baby you had on your chest doesn't seem so cute now, DOES SHE?