My daughter also likes to point at old people and yell "monkey" it is pretty mortifying when she does it in the commissary while pointing at little old asian ladies.
Some guy cut me off while I was driving with Lucy and my seven year old nephew. I yelled "watch what you're doing, ass" and nephew cracked up. I apologize, saying, "I shouldn't have said that, guys". Lucy piped up, " yeah, you not finish your word- you mean assHOLE mommy"
I did this to my mom once when I was about 3 or 4. She had clients in her car, and after getting cut off in traffic I yelled "Is that another one of those assholes mommy?"
I don't have any kids, but my cousins were some doozies when they were younger:
While walking through a large public park with my mom and her friends, we accidentally wandered into what must have been an African American Festival of some sort. My cousin looked around and loudly proclaimed, "Hey! This is a fair for black people!"
She also stood up in a booth at a restaurant once and pointed at a little person yelling, "Is that a midget Grandma?! Is it?!" and her brother started yelling, "WHERE?! Where's the midget?!"
Her brother once goosed a row of nuns at a Friendly's restaurant. I guess their habits looked soft all lined up next to each other.
I once told a stranger he looked like Mr. Rogers and that I knew it wasn't really him, but he looked like him.
And then around 4, I stood in front of our (really messy) playroom and put my hands on my hips and said, "Will you look at all this shit?" in front of company.
Post by mommyneedswine on Jun 29, 2012 9:31:45 GMT -5
My DD hasn't had to many inappropriate moments, but my DH did.
There is a 14 year age gap between him and youngest, older brother. So the 2 older brothers thought it would be hilarious to teach him inappropriate things. In the middle of church at about the age of 5 or so, he stands up in the pew, grabs his crotch with one hand, puts his other hand in the air, and says "Yo' Cuz!" FYI, my FIL is also the deacon...
Post by vanillacourage on Jun 29, 2012 9:37:51 GMT -5
DS loves to wait until he's in front of my uber -Catholic MIL to put his hands on his hips and sigh loudly, "ugh, JESUS!"
He also said in front of all my inlaws "DAMN!". I mildly told him it wasn't a nice word and he said in this exasperated tone, "mommy. I said damn, not damn it. It's FINE."
I was at the beach with my oldest (who was about 4 at the time this happened) and a family of midgets walked by. Kiddo screamed out, "OHHH MYYYY GAWWWDDD MOMMY, LOOKIT THEM! LOOKIT THEM!!!!" :-| :-| :-| :-|
Not my kid, but I was at a public bathroom. I went in and the smell was overwhelming, but I saw a mom with her stroller in the handicapped stall and figured she was changing a diaper and I *really* had to pee
I did my thing and was washing my hands when the little kid goes "That was a big, stinky poopoo, mommy!"
My parents had taken my brother out to eat at a pizza place on a busy night. My dad decided to take him into the men's bathroom for the first time instead of him going in the women's room with my mom. As soon as they came out, my brother shouted across the restaurant "Mom, we peed in the sink!" because he didn't know what a urinal was. My mom and dad were mortified.
When my brother was little the girls on my sisters's b-ball team thought it would be funny to teach him the word dick. My mom explained to him it wasn't a nice word and he acted mortified the rest of the night. I guess that wore off because the following Monday my mom got a call from the owner of the kindergarten he attended to inform her that he stood up in the middle of lunch and announced that he had the biggest dick in the whole world.
In 1st grade my sister, Emily Louise, told her teacher her middle name was Linguica (portuguese sausage) and would write her first name with the M upside down. To this day she is called E-Wily Linguica.
Post by partiallysunny on Jun 29, 2012 10:09:15 GMT -5
My kid isn't quit old enough yet for this... when he uses word appropriately I laugh and get excited.
But when I was in high school, about 16 or 17, I went out for ice cream with my aunt, my cousins, and my mom. I was holding my little cousin, 5 or 6, and he looked at my chest, honked my breasts, and said "look mom, boobies".
Post by lostlenore on Jun 29, 2012 10:11:56 GMT -5
When DS1 was almost 2, we went to MIL's neighbor's house for a very private mass (only their family and ILs). When the priest got out the chalice for communion, DS got all excited and yelled "BEER!"
I can no longer take DS2 (3 years old) clothes shopping with me. Whenever I am trying on something in the changing room, he keeps saying loudly, "I like your butt Mommy."
When DS1 was just learning to talk, he also went through a phase where he called my by my first name (Mandy). One day, after he had learned the phrase "Damn it" from DH, he kept yelling at me, "Damn it, Mandy. Damn it, Mandy." I tried not to laugh, but that was impossible.
DH was giving DS a bath awhile back. They were using the shower head as a "firehose". DH said to DS that his butt was on fire, so DS put the hose to his butt. Then, being a kid, he pointed it to his front too - and liked it. And put it there again, and then held it there.
This was amusing to DH, but then distracted DS.
Later, DH is telling me this story and he refers to DS holding the hose to "his parts".
Ds looks at me w/ a huge grin and goes "My penis! (pause) Penis penis penis!!!!".
Post by ThirdandLong on Jun 29, 2012 10:16:48 GMT -5
During a visit to my ILs, my son was bouncing around on the couch telling his Grandpa a made-up story about pirates and being captured and a green boat. He's jumping on the sofa, landing on my FIL, twisting around... the typical stuff for a toddler to do while storytelling. So he gets to a particularly exciting part in his story and throws his torso over the back of the couch, lining his little tushy up with my FIL's head - right at nose level, and rips a HUGE one. Stinks to high heaven. We all absolutely died laughing (and from the stink).
Post by cheesierthanchedda on Jun 29, 2012 12:40:57 GMT -5
When I was, I duuno, 1.5?, my mom was emptying the dishwasher and dropped a glass. She says, "Oh shhhhhhhhhhh...oot." To which I respond, "Don't you mean SHIT, Mommy?"