Having a hard time

[anelms]

I'm right there with you on the sleep. Baby J is almost 5 weeks old and only sleeps 2.5 hr stretches at night.

He was constantly screaming, and arching off when nursing. We ended up getting diagnosed with pretty bad reflux and the change has been remarkable.

Lots of hugs

[dulcemariamar]

I am so sorry. I dont really have advice but I just want you to know that I think most people on this board have people in your shoes. NBs are hard. Really fucking hard and nothing can really prepare you for it. You basically just have to survive the first few months and just be really really kind to yourself.

It will get better. I cant tell you when but things will start to get easier. Baby steps for you and your LO.

[soozy87]

Thanks everyone! This has put a lot in perspective. I am BFing as I type this. I got out and took a walk around the neighborhood and I think it did us both some good. I'm going to give it another go tonight. One day at a time, one night at a time.

Thank you all for sharing!

[countthestars]

Great update! My LO used to take forever to nurse too, but got much more efficient after maybe 4 or 6 weeks. Now she is done in 15 minutes or less unless she is going through a growth spurt. Huge hugs - it will get better, I promise!

[pugz]

definitely take it one day at a time, those first few weeks are rough. I had a really low supply so we were on the bf, supplement with formula, then pump, schedule for a month and it was time consuming and draining. At a month I stopped pumping and we just breastfed for comfort and supplemented with formula until she self-weaned at 13 weeks.

Combo feeding is REALLY common but not talked about much, especially in the early days when there is such an emphasis on exclusively BFing, pumping, or ditching all of that and going straight to formula. There is so much room for in between and I think that can be a good place for many new moms to take some of the pressure off.

Ideas to boost your supply: fenugreek or motherlove supplements, oatmeal, lactation cookies, tons of skin to skin time.

breastfeeding support groups are great as you can bounce ideas off of other moms, do weighed feedings, get advice from the LC, and get more comfortable with breastfeeding.

[thebreakfastclub]

I never BF or pumped, so I cannot comment there. Babies that young are hard. You are 100% responsible for a tiny stranger who doesn't even acknowledge your existence. It can be awful.

I do suggest the Happiest Babies book, gas drops, and leaning on your H. Go take a hot shower and regroup when he comes home. Things will get better and the baby will start to smile and engage you too. Big hugs.

[karinothing]

Nov 25, 2013 16:50:30 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

Tons of hugs. Those early weeks are absolutely miserable. You have gotten tons of great advice.

I had to supplement with formula in the beginning due to weight loss. I kept BFing and pumping and I haven't had to supplement with formula in 3 weeks. If you go with formula your baby will be fine. And if you decide you want to go back you can always try later. Whatever you decide your baby will be fine if you are fine. Remember in those early weeks your baby's stomach is so small they do not need a lot every meal. As long as they are gaining weight and have a good number of pees and poops you are doing good.

I also could not get E to sleep unless on me. But at that age you do whatever you need to do to survive.

It does get better.

I don't want to hijack, but I just wanted to say that is amazing news! Keep up the good work  

[osulori]

I second the suggestions to see if there's a BFing support group or even a new moms' support group in your area...one of our local hospitals offers both, and though I only went to the BFing support group once I go to the new moms' group pretty regularly (its offered on Mondays and Tuesdays and I'm off Mondays). The support from this board is fanfuckingtastic, but being able to bounce questions/concerns/vents with other moms in person is really helpful too.

[elocrates]

Sorry you are having a rough time. I haven't read all of the replies yet, but...

It does get better. It really does. I think I could have written a very similar post when DS1 was a newborn. It really is hard. I think what helped the most for me with DS2 and especially with DS3 was just accepting that they were going to only sleep on me (or DH) for a while instead of fighting it. I finally just found a sleep position that was comfortable for me and at the same time safe for baby, and went with it. They grew out of it eventually (around 12ish weeks, if I recall correctly), and my stress level was so much lower than it was with DS1.