(@) Ok moms of 2 - I am freaking out

[pamela]

I'm also freaking out about this, but of your list, moving LB can probably wait. I know our plan is to keep new baby in our room for ~2-3 months like last time and use that time to transition Benjamin over to his new room. (And because I need his new room for my mom to stay in when she comes to help). And if you can afford it, hire someone(s) to come deep clean. Definitely my plan. Will probably ask regular housekeeper to come while we're in the hospital so it's totally ready when we come back.

[Deleted]

You'll be fine, I promise you. I PROMISE YOU!

Pete was much younger than LB when pinky was born, 20 months. And he did fine. I just had to make sure I taught him to be sweet and loving with his sister and to give him plenty of love and attention when I could. I will say it worked best for me when I didn't feel bad for him or apologize to him for having to take care of his sister. He seemed to understand quickly that way that pinky needs to be cared for and as soon as I have seen to her more pressing needs, I'll give him whatever he needs too.

By the same token, I also had to be willing to put her down and take care of his pressing needs when necessary even if it meant she cried for a bit.

Everything else will fall into place.

[heightsyankee]

May 14, 2012 10:50:30 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

You'll be fine, I promise you. I PROMISE YOU!

Pete was much younger than LB when pinky was born, 20 months. And he did fine. I just had to make sure I taught him to be sweet and loving with his sister and to give him plenty of love and attention when I could. I will say it worked best for me when I didn't feel bad for him or apologize to him for having to take care of his sister. He seemed to understand quickly that way that pinky needs to be cared for and as soon as I have seen to her more pressing needs, I'll give him whatever he needs too.

By the same token, I also had to be willing to put her down and take care of his pressing needs when necessary even if it meant she cried for a bit.

Everything else will fall into place.

This was pretty much word for word my experience as well.

I found #2 to be easier in so many ways. You don't have any of that 1st time mom anxiety. You know what to do when all the things that freaked you out the 1st time pop up. Honestly, I never knew how easy a baby was until I had a baby and a toddler at the same time. It really is so much easier the 2nd time around!

[Deleted]

My BFF has a 2.5 year old and had her 2nd two weeks ago--she said it was easier too and even though her toddler is crazy clingy, she all of a sudden is really independent and loves the new baby. It was weird how different she was from just a couple of weeks before the baby was born.

And just pay someone to clean your house. And ask a friend to help with the room switch. That's what friends are for:)

[niconiko]

It was definitely easier the second time around!

[taratru]

You'll be okay. It's not necessarily easier, you just know what you're doing more, so it feels easier.

[KateAggie]

The transition from 1 to 2 is cake, with the occasional piece missing icing.

It is so much easier than you think it will be. Don't worry about the nursery--he won't even be in there for a while.

[pescalita]

I obv don't have any experience, but the rooms can wait, esp his room. I didn't finish A's nursery until he was 2 mos old, and he had been sleeping in there for a month.

Can you hire out super cleaning the house? We have groupons pop up in our area often, I used one just before he was born and it. was. awesome. It's easier to find the $ for a one time thing than a monthly gig.

Don't freak out about LB's bday either. You know you go overboard, and for no one other than yourself. She'll have a great time with whatever you can put together.

[EloiseWeenie]

The transition was so much easier than expected. My son did begin to act out a little bit (only towards me and my husband, never towards his sister), but I found that putting the baby down while she napped and doing a craft/reading/singing with him totally fixed that.

He was so into her. Only real freak out was waking up to him, early in the morning, trying to carry the 1 week old out of our room (she was in the rock and play- he was 2.5). Luckily he didn't drop her, and we scared him out trying that again. Sometimes he's a little rough with her, but he isn't trying to hurt her and we have to re-explain that she is little and can be hurt easily.

Once she started showing interest in toys, he loves to play with her, and they play together all day long (she's 7 months now).

[snarkymalarky]

No advice, just empathy. My boss has yet to give a replacement person for my position, so I'm freaking out that stuff won't get done while I'm gone. I'm due 7/15 and measuring 2 weeks ahead and I have a DS who will be 3 in Sept. I'm hoping he won't completely melt down after DS2 is born. Annnd...my house is a disaster

[ringstrue]

Dunno how LB likes to play, but I think DD would freak if she got to play "mommy" with a real live baby. Not even that she'd do much - just lay the blanket over it 50 times in a row and sing lullabye to it.

I think older siblings entertain babies just by being in the room yelping and moving around and jabbering. DD was so bored and cranky with only her sleepy mommy and the TV to amuse her. She would have been a much easier baby IMO with someone else to fill up the dead air.

It will work out!

[racegrrl714]

I only have one of my own (I have a stepdaughter who I didn't know until she was four, so I don't know what having two little ones is like) but I really wouldn't worry too much about it, especially the nursery and moving your DD. You can do that once he's here and you have a little more energy (ha ha). Heck, my DD is going on 2 and still sleeps in our room. Which, does suck for me and H but it CAN be done.
Get the cleaning done, and if you can get (or hire) help with it, BONUS!
Get as much done at work as you can, then let who ever is filling in for you handle the rest.
Try to have as special but yet, non-stressful b-day party for DD as possible.
You've already been through the newborn part so at least this time you won't be a totally lost newb.
You got this.

[jenny1223]

May 14, 2012 11:57:54 GMT -5 ringstrue said:

I think older siblings entertain babies just by being in the room yelping and moving around and jabbering. DD was so bored and cranky with only her sleepy mommy and the TV to amuse her. She would have been a much easier baby IMO with someone else to fill up the dead air.

It will work out!

This is so true. I only have one, but DS is 4 months old and he loves watching little kids play. It's way more fun to him than mom making funny faces and singing off-key.