s/o Things kids say

[wowhead]

What are some things you thought you'd never have to say out loud?

We were at a friends house for Thanksgiving and they are potty training their youngest.  Hearing her day yell through the house "Make sure you pull down your panties" may have been the funniest thing I've ever heard.  

[lilybug]

Oh God, I laugh at stuff that comes out of my mouth all the time. It's ridiculous.

"We do not touch each other's balls."
"Boogers are not weapons."
"Kick your brother more softly, please."

Etc etc, all day every day.

[ginap]

I have written two blog posts about this - welcome-noob.com/?p=1578 and welcome-noob.com/?p=1524. Highlights include we don't lick egg shells that you pull out of the trash and please stop touching the cats butt.

[thebuddhagouda]

"The only penis you should touch is your own"
"yes, everyone toots, but we don't do it on purpose, and we definitely do NOT aim it at people"

[teeah22]

At dinner two nights ago:

"Your fork does not belong in between your toes!"

[sonrisa]

"You have to put panties and pants on before we go to the store. Does mommy go out without panties? Does daddy go out without pants?"

[aussiecrush]

"Well I'm glad I don't have a penis" in reply to my 5 year old saying he's glad he doesn't have a vagina.

[Alyssa]

My husband was helping our daughter brush her teeth one night and when she was done she said, "Dad smell my breath!" And he replied with, "Oh wow, smells like an angel's toot!"

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

7 AM, at a McDonalds. 6 adults and 6 kids, who have been in their cars for 3 hours already and have about 7 more to go.
"QUIT RUBBING YOUR MEAT ALONG THE TABLE!!!!!"

6 adults laughed for the rest of the meal, and then text/walkie-talked it to each other and laughed randomly throughout the whole trip.

[eb777888]

The weirdest is "no, I won't tickle your penis." That was a looooong time ago, he knows better now, lol.

I already shared this but David came out as we were lighting up the Christmas tree and said "that's a fucking cool Christmas tree." We had to explain that fuck is a bad word. OMG, I could not keep a straight face after he said it, I had to leave the room so I could laugh. I had tears I was laughing so hard.

[litebright]

I can never think of the best ones off the top of my head. A few that do come to mind:

"We don't touch the dog's penis." Lost count of how many times I had to say that.

"I know you like my underwear, but please don't touch my bottom."

[iamgrace]

Dec 10, 2013 15:19:59 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

I already shared this but David came out as we were lighting up the Christmas tree and said "that's a fucking cool Christmas tree." We had to explain that fuck is a bad word. OMG, I could not keep a straight face after he said it, I had to leave the room so I could laugh. I had tears I was laughing so hard.

Omg, this is the best thing I have ever read. 

[LauraMoser]

No, those are not candy, after they found my tampons.

[game blouses]

"If you bite the couch, you have to sit on the floor."

Also, when I was a teenager I was whining about how I couldn't do my chores because I had cramps, and my mom yelled "You have cramps? I'll GIVE YOU CRAMPS!" I still tease her about that.

[Captain Serious]

"Please don't tackle your brother inside."

"We don't joke about killing people."

"Get up, you are not dead."

"Please don't hit your brother on the head."

"Keep your hands to yourself in the car. No hugging or kissing in the car. Hugs in the car turn into headlocks."

I'm sensing a pattern.

[aussiecrush]

New from today "We don't try and kiss the people who knock on our door". My son is going to get suspended for sexual harassment, isn't he?

[ginger]

"Get your panties out between your butt cheeks!"

She had actually taken them off for bath and decided putting them between her cheeks and waddling was a good idea.

That one was HARD not to laugh instead.

[Ruby Gloom]

"We do not stick fluffies up our buttholes!"

"Get your face away from Diesel's weiner!"

I have about a gazillion of these, all from kid #4

[mrsjuleshs]

I still have to tell her to go put on clothes, we do not live in a nudist colony.

[MixedBerryJam]

Dec 10, 2013 14:06:34 GMT -5 thebuddhagouda said:

"The only penis you should touch is your own"
"yes, everyone toots, but we don't do it on purpose, and we definitely do NOT aim it at people"

Our rule was "You can only touch your own penis. Except mom. She can touch them ALLLLLLLLLL."

[lauralala]

Dec 10, 2013 15:19:59 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

The weirdest is "no, I won't tickle your penis." That was a looooong time ago, he knows better now, lol.

I'm glad there is hope.  I'm getting tired of hearing "come look at my penis!"

[eb777888]

Dec 10, 2013 21:13:21 GMT -5 lauralala said:

Dec 10, 2013 15:19:59 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

The weirdest is "no, I won't tickle your penis." That was a looooong time ago, he knows better now, lol.

I'm glad there is hope.  I'm getting tired of hearing "come look at my penis!"

Oh, I still get that! lol. Sorry.