s/o things kids say...how do you handle "stupid"

[jenny1223]

I'm going to be in so much trouble in a year or two.

[thebuddhagouda]

Right now, we say it's a bad word because I don't think he has the abilities at three to grasp the subtleties, but eventually it will probably be along the lines of what you said. Some words are okay in certain context and mean in others.

[HiC]

Up until this year "stupid" was also known as the "s-word". We didn't say it. Now that she is older, we are on the "how you use it" tip.  But it's still not used so much in the house.

[eb777888]

I told him we don't say it. I love that at 5, I can explain this stuff. It's hard, though. We were watching TV and I said to H "that guys is such a jerk..." David asked "is jerk a bad word?" lol. Sort of.... There's a lot of "gray area" bad words, IMO.

[rootbeerfloat]

Stupid and its cousins (idiot, ugly, fat, etc) aren't allowed because they are hurtful and insulting, not so much because they are bad. That said, the kids know they aren't on the same plane as fuck and other actual swear words, so they really try to push the limits on using them.

A few months ago, DD yelled "idiot!" about something or other. When I asked her to clarify, she said "CUTE idiot!" Yeah, nice try, DD.

[eddy]

Stupid is a bad word after Jack called a kid stupid.

He will call us out on it but we have learned to adjust. It is much better then my ahole kid going around calling others stupid.

[revolution]

We don't use the word in our house. DD knows it isn't a nice word to say.

[Deleted]

Where are you, wannabe?

LOL.

[wannabe]

Like others, we said it was a "bad word" but so many people use it that I switched it to "it's not a nice word to use." She doesn't use it but has now stopped being the bad word police.

[wannabe]

Dec 10, 2013 16:37:31 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Where are you, wannabe?

LOL.

LOLOLOL STUUUUUPID.

[polka]

The girls don't say it. But we have a "no saying stupid, because it's hurtful" rule in our house too.

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2013 16:41:30 GMT -5 wannabe said:

Dec 10, 2013 16:37:31 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Where are you, wannabe?

LOL.

LOLOLOL STUUUUUPID.

It's still so good.

[TC]

Little brother and sister are allowed to use words like stupid when talking about things but not when talking about people in our house. We do not call people anything they do not expressly want to be called in our house (so like for my brother, this means people are not allowed to use a common variation of his name, they need to respect that he wants to be called his whole name). It's extra important to me because both of my parents have a difficult time controlling derogatory language when around the kids and even towards the kids, and I want them to have a safe place where the normalization of that isn't continued. Kids are exposed to enough bullying language in the real world, I don't want it in their home life. There are certain words that aren't just words, regardless of how they are used, so I'm just kind of winging it LOL

[hopecounts]

For ease of parenting stupid/hate/retard(ed)/curse words are all no-no words because they hurt people (I know curse words not so much but its easier to just lump them together).
I see your point about stupid sandwich but at 3 DD doesn't grasp the subtleties so its just banned.
ETA: the punishment is we come up with a different word/phrase to express her feelings so stupid sandwich would become "stay where I put you silly sandwich" if we're being silly "I'm upset/mad that I keep dropping my sandwich" if she's really upset about it.

[BieberMyBalls]

Its on the "not nice" words list, so Ds doesn't say it. I'll hear enough of it, and the rest, when he's older I'm sure. Something tells me when the 2 year old gets to school, he's going to laugh in my face when he learns the "not nice" list lol.

[looseseal]

We don't say it in our house, because 'it's not a nice thing to say.' We say 'silly' instead. DS1 corrects us. When he's older, we'll be able to explain context to him, but for now this is what we do.

I distinctly remember my cousin having a conversation with my aunt about when she could say the word crap. OK to say, 'oh crap i forgot my book' but not okay to say 'the dog crapped on the floor.' My parents would have come unhinged for either usage, they had no context exceptions.

[Deleted]

We tell him we don't say that word, it's not a nice word. Because he only uses it when he's mad. So he calls me or H stupid.

He does tell us every time we slip up and say it that it's not a nice word and we need to say "Oh my goodness" instead, lol. He does that because some teenagers at Disneyland taught him to say "Oh fuck" while we were there. I kept repeating that he should say "Oh my goodness" instead. Now he thinks that's what you replace every bad word with.

[EmilieMadison]

Ellie and Charlie both view "stupid" as a bad word and make a fuss if someone says it. 
Though, obviously, their judgement on bad words is questionable since Charlie has no problem with shit box, so...

[isabel]

My mom had a rule when my sister was young that we couldn't say 'shut up' but my step-sister and I said it to each other all the time. My younger sister would go tearing through the house on a near daily basis, yelling "ISABEL SAID THE 'SH' WORD!" It took my step-sister and I a few days of that before we realized she meant 'shut up' and not 'shit'. That's my only contribution to this thread.

[adhdfashion]

I told Mia we aren't allowed to call people stupid because that is not kind.

[glassofsyrah]

It's a bad word at our house. She loves to point out when someone says it on tv or a movie. "MOM! He said stupid!"

[eddy]

Dec 10, 2013 21:32:48 GMT -5 Que? said:

The other day I was looking at a magazine and G looked and said 'a piece of chicken on rice? That's stupid'. She sounded totally jaded, just like mama. I didn't realize this was a 'bad' word until I heard how gross it sounded coming out of her mouth. I also realized this about the word 'hate'.

Yes I was totally prepared to give up the shit and fucks, but I wasn't prepared to really clean up my language. Hearing your kid call someone stupid is a bit humbling.

[eb777888]

Dec 10, 2013 20:43:58 GMT -5 glassofsyrah said:

It's a bad word at our house. She loves to point out when someone says it on tv or a movie. "MOM! He said stupid!"

Haha, David does that, too!

[Deleted]

Aw hell. This never occurred to me. I am a no good parent.

[stealthmom]

It is a bad word in our house. It's not even a mommy word like dammit or fuck. Lol. We use silly in its place.

[Deleted]

So I thought I would introduce DS to the Charlie Brown cartoons. Yeah. Every fucking episode uses the word stupid.

ETA: sorry, I hit post too soon. He's only seen 2 episodes but I was really hoping he could see more. I've had a difficult time explaining that stupid is not acceptable because it's hurtful. He thinks it's funny. Sigh.

[Deleted]

I say "we don't call people stupid. And if I ever hear you do it, it won't end well for you, son."

"It won't end well for you" is my best nebulous Suesue style threat.

I don't react when he calls a chair stupid. Walla.

[jennysmitten]

Dec 10, 2013 16:53:14 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

I am going to be a terrible mother.

me too. :/