Who wants the most sex in your relationship?

[Deleted]

I feel like I'm weird in that I want to have sex like twice a day. DH has been slowing down in that department and it makes me sad. I thought men were supposed to want it all the time! Anyone else have this problem? Any tips?

[GailGoldie]

if you asked pre-kids it would be me... now, i could go without forever - my drive has gone to zero. thaknfully DH isn't a huge horn-fest, so he's OK with not doing it that often- and i'll do it when he asks... and i enjoy it- but i just don't crave it myself- which is sad, but i also don't care too much... i'm 39... i had a LOT of sex in my 20s to make up for it

[Deleted]

From the results of the poll, looks like I am weird...

[chessie]

We are about the same. We go through spurts though, when we want it all the time, then not at all. Reflects on how much stress, what is going on with work as well. That is something we tend to have to work on, taking time for ourselves, disconnecting from blackberries/work- and just scheduling date nights.

[ssmjlm]

We're about even now. My drive went up a ton once I got my IUD out. I had no idea how much BC affected me b/c I was on one version or another for so long.

[mollz007]

I want to have sex more than H does. Right now we only have sex about once a week, which is understandable because we are both really busy, but I want to have sex more, like maybe 2x a week. We have gotten into some fights about it.

[pugz]

it used to be me, but I think zoloft killed my sex drive

[mollz007]

May 14, 2012 11:11:30 GMT -5 @lilly said:

From the results of the poll, looks like I am weird...

Nope, I think I am in a similar boat...

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 11:14:59 GMT -5 pugz said:

it used to be me, but I think zoloft killed my sex drive

I wonder if this is why I feel like I have had such a huge increase in my sex drive over the last year or so. I haven't taken my birth control pills or zoloft since January 2011...I didn't think they had affected my sex drive, but maybe they did.

I just hate feeling like I have to ask for it all the time. It makes me feel unattractive/undesirable.

[Deleted]

Me! I'd probably do it every night if DH was up for it.

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 11:19:27 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Me! I'd probably do it every night if DH was up for it.

Do you find yourself doing the initiating most of the time? I do and I hate it!

[karinothing]

Lilly I am just impressed that you have enough energy to have sex multiple times a day! I find that my sex drive is directly connected to my body self image. Right now I feel unattractive so I don't have much of a sex drive. When I was pregnant I had an INSANE sex drive. Sex was also awesome. I miss pregnancy sex (sorry to mention @ stuff in a non @ post).

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 11:21:20 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Lilly I am just impressed that you have enough energy to have sex multiple times a day! I find that my sex drive is directly connected to my body self image. Right now I feel unattractive so I don't have much of a sex drive. When I was pregnant I had an INSANE sex drive. Sex was also awesome. I miss pregnancy sex (sorry to mention @ stuff in a non @ post).

See, I think maybe my poor self image right now has something to do with this, but in a different way. Like maybe I keep wanting to have sex to prove that I'm attractive (because I feel really unattractive these days). Then when I am the one doing the initiating all the time, it makes me feel worse so it is backfiring...I don't know if that even makes sense.

[ejpint]

I do almost all the initiating, and it sucks. He's usually game, but he's rarely the one to start or suggest it. And don't even get me started on the times he's not up for it. I think I have a high drive, and he's below average.

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 11:20:29 GMT -5 @lilly said:

May 14, 2012 11:19:27 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Me! I'd probably do it every night if DH was up for it.

Do you find yourself doing the initiating most of the time? I do and I hate it!

Yes! I don't really care for it but DH always references the two times I didn't want to do it when it was his idea as to why he doesn't bring it up more. We're working on it but it is annoying sometimes.

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 11:43:32 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

May 14, 2012 11:20:29 GMT -5 @lilly said:

Do you find yourself doing the initiating most of the time? I do and I hate it!

Yes! I don't really care for it but DH always references the two times I didn't want to do it when it was his idea as to why he doesn't bring it up more. We're working on it but it is annoying sometimes.

Hah! Yeah, DH says he doesn't want to "bother me." I'm like, I bug you about it all the time, WTF do you think it would be a bother!

[h]

We have been together for almost 17 years and married almost 11. Until a couple years ago, he always wanted it more. Recently, it has shifted to me. He was a 19 year old boy when we started dating, so he obviously wanted it all the time. Now he is an almost 36 year old, constantly sleep-deprived man with an understandably lower sex drive. This is when the fact that men and women hit their sexual primes at different times starts to suck.

[SallyJ]

May 14, 2012 10:54:49 GMT -5 @lilly said:

I feel like I'm weird in that I want to have sex like twice a day. DH has been slowing down in that department and it makes me sad. I thought men were supposed to want it all the time! Anyone else have this problem? Any tips?

I'm the same. The three things that have helped: 1) Communicate my needs/wants, 2) He started lifting again and it seems to have upped his libido, and 3) Have more of it = want more of it!

[MiniLove]

My BF & I have actually been talking about this a lot. He said this is the first relationship he's had where the person he's dating wants sex more than him. He's quite glad to have that problem though.

I also talked to my therapist about this and she said she found that a lot of women had higher sex drives than men...though this poll seems to support the standard "men want it more" stereotype. I will say that I quit taking BCP a few years ago b/c it just made me way too moody. That has helped immensely.

[MiniLove]

May 14, 2012 10:54:49 GMT -5 @lilly said:

Have more of it = want more of it!

YES - so true!

[partiallysunny]

May 14, 2012 10:54:49 GMT -5 @lilly said:

I feel like I'm weird in that I want to have sex like twice a day. DH has been slowing down in that department and it makes me sad. I thought men were supposed to want it all the time! Anyone else have this problem? Any tips?

Me. And I have no tip except learn to beg.

I'm only half joking.

Edit: I hate initiating. I get shot down a lot which makes me feel like shit.

[GailGoldie]

May 14, 2012 11:18:03 GMT -5 @lilly said:

May 14, 2012 11:14:59 GMT -5 pugz said:

it used to be me, but I think zoloft killed my sex drive

I wonder if this is why I feel like I have had such a huge increase in my sex drive over the last year or so. I haven't taken my birth control pills or zoloft since January 2011...I didn't think they had affected my sex drive, but maybe they did.

I just hate feeling like I have to ask for it all the time. It makes me feel unattractive/undesirable.

birth control AND zoloft? Oh yeah- that's a sex-drive-killer-combo for sure.

I'm on bCP and just went off of celexa... i am hoping that my drive goes up a little now that the celexa is gone - but likey it won't much b/c 3 kids is what kills mine