I followed through :(

[karinothing]

Dec 12, 2013 20:42:17 GMT -5 toledo said:

Dec 12, 2013 20:40:51 GMT -5 papie said:

I am going to be the voice of dissent and say that I think it is ok to not always follow through. If I make a threat that is too much for what the kid is doing, I don't follow through. I say "ok maybe saying you are going straight to bed was a bit harsh, so instead the consequence is that we are going inside immediately"

I'm with you. It's not the end of the parenting world to change your mind and pull back.

This is where I am at. Plus, your kid is 2.5 not 5 you know? Their brains are only capable of comprehending so much. I have a 26 month old, and I don't really expect him to mind me. I mean its great when he does, but he is young and I am pretty sure not minding me is devlopmentally appropriate.

[Deleted]

I disagree with all of the "she's only 2!"ers.

Those little effers are WAY smarter than we give them credit for.

Also, I ask any person with adult children whom I admire for parenting advice. 90% of the time it's one word: consistency.

[Deleted]

So I asked her this morning if she knew why she had to go to bed early last night. She said, "cause I runned in the snow when you said no". I told her she has to mind mommy when I say things or there are consequences. She laughed and said, "I won't never do it again." (She says that every time she gets in trouble lol) 

I mean I think it was a good sign she could tell me why she was in trouble.

[eddy]

I have zero memory of how I disciplined at two. i probably should brush up on it since we will be there again soon.

SW don't feel guilty for what you did. We have all been there!

[papie]

Dec 13, 2013 9:28:28 GMT -5 toledo said:

Some of you make parenting way harder than it has to be. I'm a mom, not a prison guard worrying about letting the inmates taste a little freedom.

Somehow my kids aren't defiant monsters, jumping into swimming pools willy-nilly.

App like

[Deleted]

Argh.

A) I am not a prison guard by any stretch of the imagination.

B) It's possible that different kids require different levels of strictness. I cannot give Payne an INCH. This has been a lesson hard learned over the past three years. He is a stubborn child and a born negotiator. He is also very sweet and funny. I cannot falter with him or I pay for it for weeks.

[Deleted]

Dec 13, 2013 9:32:57 GMT -5 pagas said:

Dec 13, 2013 9:28:28 GMT -5 toledo said:

Some of you make parenting way harder than it has to be. I'm a mom, not a prison guard worrying about letting the inmates taste a little freedom.

Somehow my kids aren't defiant monsters, jumping into swimming pools willy-nilly.

Exactly.  I don't see the issue with letting her walk in the snow, especially when there is such a big consequence attached to it.  It takes just as long to put on boots as it does to put on tennis shoes.  I don't understand why she wasn't wearing them in the first place.  I am all for kids understanding right from wrong, but I guess I am really missing what is so wrong with walking in the snow.

I didn't have boots on her because there is no snow on the lawn except for these two places that are in the shadow of the building, but it is pretty deep. It's not even pretty snow, it's yucky melted snow. Also, it's not like she just timidly walked through it. The child ran and jumped in. Anyway, the snow and whether my child had on boots is not the point here.

[ijack]

Dec 12, 2013 20:47:43 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

She's 2. It's your job to dress your child appropriately for the conditions, so if you took her outside with you and didnt want her shoes to get wet, you should have put boots on her.

I'm a big proponent of natural consequences, so if the child wouldn't wear boots it's a whole different issue but it sounds like that wasn't the case here.
I would have said "you can play in the snow for 2 minutes because I have to get inside to make dinner. and when we get inside you have to immediately change into dry clothes and help clean up your wet clothes."

[papie]

Dec 13, 2013 9:53:08 GMT -5 Que? said:

I don't find parenting all that difficult. All kids are different, so shaming discipline styles probably isn't productive.

I agree but I don't think anyone is trying to shame Sally. She seemed unsure about what happened and asked for opinions. The few "always follow through no matter what" replies as if it was a golden rule of parenting rubbed some of us the wrong way.

[cinderbella]

I think you did the right thing - she was given a consequence for her action and chose to ignore the warning. Yes, it may have been a little on the harsh side but following through with your rules is way more important than her "suffering" through one night of a possibly exaggerated punishment. And from your update post this morning, it sounds like she's no worse for the wear and you've also learned to reign it in with your consequences. Win/Win.

[eddy]

Dec 13, 2013 9:39:22 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

Argh.

A) I am not a prison guard by any stretch of the imagination.

B) It's possible that different kids require different levels of strictness. I cannot give Payne an INCH. This has been a lesson hard learned over the past three years. He is a stubborn child and a born negotiator. He is also very sweet and funny. I cannot falter with him or I pay for it for weeks.

Payne is my Jack. I would love to be breezy with him. But it unravels a lot of hard work. 

[hopecounts]

Dec 13, 2013 9:09:50 GMT -5 @t2j said:

So I asked her this morning if she knew why she had to go to bed early last night. She said, "cause I runned in the snow when you said no". I told her she has to mind mommy when I say things or there are consequences. She laughed and said, "I won't never do it again." (She says that every time she gets in trouble lol) 

I mean I think it was a good sign she could tell me why she was in trouble.

Its good that she gets it BUT fundamentally she does not have the impulse cntrol at 2 to stop herself 100% of the time even if she knows better.
Her brain just hasn't reached that point yet, at 4/5 yes she likely can control the impulse but at 2 she just can't think past the OMg SNOW must jump in it to stop herself.
This is why you don't leave Los unattended by a pool/witha. dog/etc even if they 'know' better they aren't necessarily capable of doing better. 

Next time put on the boots and make a more reasonable and logical immediate consequence.