Met up with an old friend....

[spedrunner]

I really dont know what to to think. I am going to DD this so please do not quote, i feel bad enough already discussing it

Thanks everyone. I am going to keep moving forward with myself and see what comes along

[Booze Raccoon]

Why wouldn't you stay friends with her?

[spedrunner]

Dec 15, 2013 9:19:43 GMT -5 Booze Raccoon said:

Why wouldn't you stay friends with her?

Just not sure its a "healthy" relationship for me?  If that makes sense....I am in the process of really working on a  lot of things and i tend to try to take on other peoples problems, and try to help them and forget about me, thats how i avoid myself.....

[Booze Raccoon]

OH HOLD UP!

I misread. I thought her H was the one who cheated.

Nevermind. This changes my answer.

[cleo29]

Dec 15, 2013 9:28:57 GMT -5 Booze Raccoon said:

OH HOLD UP!

I misread. I thought her H was the one who cheated.

Nevermind. This changes my answer.

I did this too. lol I was thinking, Why is she living with the other guy's wife?? LOL

[spedrunner]

Dec 15, 2013 9:28:57 GMT -5 Booze Raccoon said:

OH HOLD UP!

I misread. I thought her H was the one who cheated.

Nevermind. This changes my answer.

no no no, she cheated on her H......with her friends H....ick, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, I dont want to judge but i really appreciate her honesty, she did not sugar coat anything but Im kinda feel like "Welp, i have no friends left now, i want to start new, lets be friends now"

[Booze Raccoon]

Dec 15, 2013 9:30:50 GMT -5 spedrunner said:

Dec 15, 2013 9:28:57 GMT -5 Booze Raccoon said:

OH HOLD UP!

I misread. I thought her H was the one who cheated.

Nevermind. This changes my answer.

no no no, she cheated on her H......with her friends H....ick, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, I dont want to judge but i really appreciate her honesty, she did not sugar coat anything but Im kinda feel like "Welp, i have no friends left now, i want to start new, lets be friends now"

Yeah, she can go to hell.  

[vanillacourage]

If it doesn't make you feel good to spend time with her, then don't. Her choices have had consequences and that's not your fault.

[bornbaker]

I wouldn't. Especially since it sounds like you never hung out much recently. I kinda feel like she though "Welp, I have no other friends. Who can I call that I haven't seen in awhile and won't know what a fuck-up I am".

And like you said, they were more of your XH's than yours. If you had been BBFs for forever it might be different.

[cheeseandcrackers]

If you have to ask.. I would prob say no.

[Deleted]

I could have written this same post about my friend J. She cheated on her H numerous times. When she was in that phase, I stepped back - I had my own divorce and life to handle. But once she got her shit together and was divorced, we could be friends again. She understood. I still keep my distance, but dinner here or there doesn't hurt anything.

Really, just do what you want. No validation necessary.

[MWOS]

Would it help if The Whore wore a scarlet letter when you hung out?

Jesus Christ

[MWOS]

oh, well that's a relief

[speckledfrog]

If you like her then be friends with her. If you are doing it out of pity or obligation then don't.

[moolarkey]

To me, it boils down to this: do you want quality people in your life or will you accept any type of person? Is integrity important to you or not.

Only you can decide that.

[karmasabiotch]

I missed the OP but I had to end my friendship with my BFF of over 20 years because she was making really bad choices and I didn't want to be a part if them. I see her maybe 2 times a year now. It was hard because I liked our history together but it needed to happen so I didn't get dragged into her junk.

[DotAndBuzz]

eh, I'm kind of with MWOS on this one. If you enjoy spending time with her and she's not being emotionally draining/needy/texting 800x/day, I wouldn't write her off right away. You don't have to become her instant BFF.

[themoneytree]

Is this an all or nothing situation? Can you not be friendly and maybe see her now and then without being BFFs?

Honestly I do have a problem with the cheating, but she wants to marry the guy - it wasn't just a casual thing.
I probably wouldn't invite her for cozy evenings with my H, but casual friends wouldn't be a problem for me if I liked her.

[flex]

Missed the OP, so I get the impression that you haven't been in touch with her lately up until now. Is that correct?

[spedrunner]

Dec 15, 2013 11:29:14 GMT -5 flex said:

Missed the OP, so I get the impression that you haven't been in touch with her lately up until now. Is that correct?

Yes, she contacted me out of the blue recently to get together.

[flex]

Dec 15, 2013 13:09:12 GMT -5 spedrunner said:

Dec 15, 2013 11:29:14 GMT -5 flex said:

Missed the OP, so I get the impression that you haven't been in touch with her lately up until now. Is that correct?

Yes, she contacted me out of the blue recently to get together.

yeah, okay.  Well then I wouldn't get sucked into this.  Sounds to me like you're a "back-up" friend now that she's lost her friends due to her infidelity.  I'm not saying that she's scum of the earth because of what she's done, but I'd be a little insulted that I was an afterthought.  KWIM?