WWYD - Secretary Gift Issue

[suzyp]

I have had the same secretary for about three years and I always get her something for Xmas.  As crass as it sounds, I usually just give her a card and some money.  I used to do a Visa Gift Card, but there are fees associated with it - I figured cash was better than a gift card for a store/restaurant that she many not want or need.  While she's been my secretary for so long, I know about her personal life (raising grandson, issues with daugther, other grandson is in military, married and lives across country), I don't know much about her likes and dislikes to a spa day, bottle of wine, etc. (She also has some medical issues.)

Anyway, she sent me (and her two other attorneys) an email on Monday that said she would prefer that we not exchange gifts. I let her know (which I have done every Xmas) that I don't want or expect a present from her - that I firmly believe that no one should get a present for their boss (i.e. I am not getting anything for the partners I work with etc.)  Her response was "I remember you told me that, but I would just feel better just saying "Merry Christmas" to each other!"

So I don't know what to do - I want her to know that I appreciate her, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable.  FWIW, I work at a mid-size office, so the gift is never extravagent (I'm not passing out ipad minis over here).

Any advice?

[katb]

Instead of a gift, can you call it a Christmas Bonus? Or wait a few weeks and then give her as a token of appreciation?

[jennistarr1]

I disagree with everyone, I think she's being pretty explicit. I would give her a card wishing her Merry Christmas and nothing more. Order lunch in one day and treat

[suzyp]

We do a holiday lunch on Friday and the firm closes early - she told us that was enough. But that's not from me and I get those things too!

I was leaning towards doing a card and then something in January/February as an appreciation for her.

[vanillacourage]

Do you know when her birthday is?

[circa1978]

If she says it is not what she wants, I'd honor that request.

[shostakovich]

As a support staff person, I can tell you that it's really nice to hear how much you are appreciated by your boss(es). So I would do a holiday card, telling her how much you appreciate her help.

[BlueNotebook]

Dec 17, 2013 14:53:35 GMT -5 @licia said:

I would give her a lovely Christmas card telling her how much I appreciated her and hoped she had a lovely holiday season.

This. A card like that from a boss would mean the world to me. 

[speckledfrog]

If you give her something at this point it is going to make her uncomfortable and that's really not in the spirit of what you want to do. I agree that a nice note would be perfect.

[MixedBerryJam]

I don't see how you can call it a bonus if it's cash and you've given her money in previous years. It will clearly be you not respecting her wishes. I would just write her a nice note about what a great job she's doing; in fact, if she's really doing a great job, how about an email to the partner/s/hr, cc'ing her? Wouldn't be as personal as a handwritten note, but nobody doesn't like a positive message to the higherups.

[cuddlyevil]

Dec 17, 2013 15:10:14 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

As a support staff person, I can tell you that it's really nice to hear how much you are appreciated by your boss(es). So I would do a holiday card, telling her how much you appreciate her help.

ITA with Shostakovich.

A nice card expressing your appreciation for all of her hard work and something later in the new year (for a birthday or something) would be just perfect.

[leeann]

I took one of my employees out to a dinner to show appreciation for her extra efforts during a busy time. She liked it and I used it as a "we got through that, let's have a glass of wine" type thing. I paid for it with my own personal money and we had a really nice time.

[sake]

a nice card with a note for christmas... and then give her the normal amount that you would spend on her for christmas, in check form (bonus) for secretaries' day

[marylennox]

I agree with the others who said to respect her request and just give her a nice card with a written note of appreciation.

Later on in the year you can give her a bonus or some other token of appreciation.

[sugarbear]

Dec 17, 2013 16:00:30 GMT -5 sake said:

a nice card with a note for christmas... and then give her the normal amount that you would spend on her for christmas, in check form (bonus) for secretaries' day

I was going to suggest this as well. Do you typically giver her anything for Secretaries' Day?

[suzyp]

Dec 17, 2013 17:20:27 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

Dec 17, 2013 16:00:30 GMT -5 sake said:

a nice card with a note for christmas... and then give her the normal amount that you would spend on her for christmas, in check form (bonus) for secretaries' day

I was going to suggest this as well. Do you typically giver her anything for Secretaries' Day?

I do.  I usually get her flowers and a gift card.  And usually flowers on her b'day. 

Thanks for all of the responses.  I cannot give her "bonus" - she works "for me" but is a firm employee and the firm provides the support staff bonuses, they don't come from individual attorneys via personal check.

[sugarbear]

Ok, then I'd just give her a bigger gift for secretaries' day.

[karmasabiotch]

Maybe you could adopt a military person in her honor?

I would respect her wishes. Shower her on Secretary's Day.

[suzyp]

Dec 17, 2013 18:14:58 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Well, the experts say that appreciation is better than money to employees so try that. I like the idea of cash after a big win.

I do defense work, so we're never on the side of cash after a big win! :N: