I was told by family. These people are family who I'm close to. The person I'm not super close to is the mom because I'm not related to her. I'm related to the dad. These aren't like interweb friends for fuck's sake. It's family. I know which I speak. Jeebus.
I was told by family. These people are family who I'm close to. The person I'm not super close to is the mom because I'm not related to her. I'm related to the dad. These aren't like interweb friends for fuck's sake. It's family. I know which I speak. Jeebus.
Ok I get that, but it's still gossip. About how she's grieving.
I know you're not trying to be mean. But try and see it from her perspective. It sucks that her family and friends are talking behind her back about her grieving process.
So after they have another child they are supposed to stop acknowledging that the first one existed? It's not like the living child erases the grief of the one that died.
Yes. That's totally what I said. Of course they don't stop acknowledging the first one existed. If I lost my child, I would grieve that child's loss the rest of my life. But having a full-on birthday party for the deceased child just strikes me like they're having a funeral every year for someone who isn't there. Maybe it's a happy event for them. Different strokes for different folks, I guess, and everyone is free to grieve however they please. To me, it just seems so sad to do that, and I would be curious as to what they tell their younger child about it. I would think a small child would be confused by what was going on.
The way you are phrasing it now by calling it "sad" or "confusing for the small child" is different, in my opinion, than your first post when you called it "bizarre" and "weird". Your explanation now doesn't seem as callous to me.
I just take issue with judging how someone else decides to grieve the loss of their child. I don't see why they should have to change that process because they have living children.
I was told by family. These people are family who I'm close to. The person I'm not super close to is the mom because I'm not related to her. I'm related to the dad. These aren't like interweb friends for fuck's sake. It's family. I know which I speak. Jeebus.
ivillage.com
dictionary.com
YWIA.
What's your fucking deal lady? You are bent that I'm making this shit up. Seriously go piss up a pole.
And lol @ the ivillage suggestion. I've been on the knot/nest/pandce since the stone age. I know how someone looking to pick a fight when I see it. I don't know why the fuck you decided to jump on my post but you can just get bent.
What's your fucking deal lady? You are bent that I'm making this shit up. Seriously go piss up a pole.
And lol @ the ivillage suggestion. I've been on the knot/nest/pandce since the stone age. I know how someone looking to pick a fight when I see it. I don't know why the fuck you decided to jump on my post but you can just get bent.
I never said you're making it up. Just that you're gossiping about it. Which is fuckin gross. Gotta call it like I see it. Merry Christmas!!
I get irrationally annoyed when patient's families ask "is that normal" about every.little.thing. Sometimes I want to say, "X is in the ICU. NOTHING about this place is normal! Now quit breathing on my neck and let me do my job!!"
I was told by family. These people are family who I'm close to. The person I'm not super close to is the mom because I'm not related to her. I'm related to the dad. These aren't like interweb friends for fuck's sake. It's family. I know which I speak. Jeebus.
Ok I get that, but it's still gossip. About how she's grieving.
I know you're not trying to be mean. But try and see it from her perspective. It sucks that her family and friends are talking behind her back about her grieving process.
It' not gossip. It's concern. I'm thankful I live far enough away that I can stay out of it. But I've had several family members tell me how uncomfortable the parties are and what makes them so bad is the fact that you can see how much it is hurting the dad and kids. Then dad tried to get family to intervene and nobody would. So he and the mom get into fights about it each year.
Again, rather than pick apart my post why not have a discussion about how to handle these types of situations? How do you create a scenario where all family gets to grieve in the manner that they choose? Is it fair for one person's grief to trump another's?
Maybe this is more of an irrational irritation than UO but I can't STAND how people use months for their baby's age after 12 months. I seriously saw someone refer to her toddler as 37 months old the other day. I DON'T KNOW HOW OLD THAT IS. Why can't you just say 2 or 2.5 or 3 years old? Why is everything 21.5 months old. 27 months old. 17.5 months old?
I feel so much better now. Phew.
My sister's baby is 11 months old. She still refers to his age in weeks. Yes.
YES. Someone on STFU Parents mentioned their child was 47 months old. How exhausting.
What's your fucking deal lady? You are bent that I'm making this shit up. Seriously go piss up a pole.
And lol @ the ivillage suggestion. I've been on the knot/nest/pandce since the stone age. I know how someone looking to pick a fight when I see it. I don't know why the fuck you decided to jump on my post but you can just get bent.
I never said you're making it up. Just that you're gossiping about it. Which is fuckin gross. Gotta call it like I see it. Merry Christmas!!
I'm gossiping about it? Okay. Take note everyone. Discussing family on the boards is gossiping. Noted.
I know someone who does this. I was going to bring it up here so many times but was afraid of being flamed. She had a daughter who was stillborn and now 6 years later they have a birthday party for her. She has two other daughters who are older and I do wonder how it impacts them. I'm not super close to the girl so I'd never say anything but ***I was told*** that family members and even her husband wants to stop the parties every year. Apparently the one daughter said started crying one year while singing happy birthday to the daughter who died and said, "I don't want to do this anymore. It makes mommmy so sad." The whole thing is just sad. It may be flameful but for the sake of the kids, I wish the mom would stop the birthdays and just do a quiet grieve of her own.
but okay.
And the best part, "I was told."
Apparently I need to read up on the definition of "gossip" again.
Is she not like the 5th person in this thread to bring up a story about grieving the loss of a child? What's with the pile on?
What's your fucking deal lady? You are bent that I'm making this shit up. Seriously go piss up a pole.
And lol @ the ivillage suggestion. I've been on the knot/nest/pandce since the stone age. I know how someone looking to pick a fight when I see it. I don't know why the fuck you decided to jump on my post but you can just get bent.
I never said you're making it up. Just that you're gossiping about it. Which is fuckin gross. Gotta call it like I see it. Merry Christmas!!
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
I'm just fucking tired of being judged for my grieving process, and others being judged for theirs. It's different for everyone. If the parents feel the need to remember their baby in different ways, that's between them.
It just rubs me wrong that some poor mom's family is all bitching behind her back about having to attend her party. I could write a novel about it, I chose to be snippy instead. I apologize.
lilybug, no where did I say people were bitching about her. You are inferring that. They aren't gossiping either. They are concerned and the reason they are concerned is because of the dad and the kids. If dad and the kids were cool about it that would be different. But the yearly birthdays are getting harder and harder on the other member of the family. I don't know what the answer is other than each person has to respect how another wants to grieve. Mom should be allowed her annual birthdays, no question about that. But dad and the kids shouldn't have to keep doing it for her. They should be allowed their own feelings too, imo. Maybe ask the girls, who are now 8 and 10, what they want to do to remember their sister other than birthday parties? Maybe they want to light a candle, carry a picture,whatever. Dad is more of the strong but silent type. I'm can see how someone like that wouldn't want a party.
I just strongly resent even the notion that I was on here gossiping, mocking, judging or anything about this. I went back and re-read my posts to see if there was anything that could have sounded that way and I just don't see it. I see typical ML fuckery of skipping over posts from certain people and taking out their issues on another. I did't deserve that. I'd never "gossip" over something like that. It's insulting.
I side-eyed the people giving money to a panhandler I saw today. His sign said HAPPY HOLIDAYS really big, then in small print it said "420 = "
IDK if they just didn't read/understand it or if they were like, fuck yeah, here's some drug money! It was just so blatant, and he got like 3 cars handing him money while I was stopped.
Is pot for the homeless the new skittles for poor people? I'm totally pro skittles, though. lol.
I don't know what 420 is. I would have been like, "I don't have four dollars and twenty cents but can I buy you a coffee?"
I side-eyed the people giving money to a panhandler I saw today. His sign said HAPPY HOLIDAYS really big, then in small print it said "420 = "
IDK if they just didn't read/understand it or if they were like, fuck yeah, here's some drug money! It was just so blatant, and he got like 3 cars handing him money while I was stopped.
Is pot for the homeless the new skittles for poor people? I'm totally pro skittles, though. lol.
I don't know what 420 is. I would have been like, "I don't have four dollars and twenty cents but can I buy you a coffee?"
It has something to do with smoking weed. I'm not sure exactly how they are connected, though.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
I hate pretty much all reality shows. Like, all of them. Real housewives, Duck dynasty, Kardashians, teen mom, etc. So much so, that I can't fully articulate my disgust. I tolerate ones that involve some level of competition for a prize (Amazing race, Project Runway - ok, I love PR), but all the others? A complete waste. I realize that not all of TV needs to be award winning, thought provoking art, and I love zoning out to tv, but those shows are just complete garbage and I wish the obsession with them would stop.
And just like that, you have become my new favorite person ever.
I cannot stomach the Real Housewives of Who Gives a Fuck, Duck Dynasty, Teenage-Mormon-Amish-whatever, etc. My "reality" TV is pretty much limited to HGTV.