Talk to me about going to a guy's place

[Bernadine]

I have a fourth date Saturday, we're making dinner at his place.

I don't *think* he'll try to have sex. We've kissed a bit, but he hasn't even tried to hold my hand or anything.

I'll be finishing up my period, so sex is a no, even if I wanted to. Which I'm not sure about. If you've told a guy you're not ready, how did that go? What did you say? What did he say?

Ugh, I feel like I'm 16 again. Which is the last time I dated. Help me not be dumb about this. Please.

[Deleted]

IMO it's a bit naive to think no sex will take place. There are 2 scenarios where I don't see it happening:
- he sends some clear signals and you shut him down
- he is direct (starting foreplay) and you say no

But I am 80% sure he'll make a move somehow. If he doesn't, then extra points for him!

[Bernadine]

I'm up for friskiness. Undecided on full on sex.

I wouldn't be shocked if he tried for it, but I would be a little surprised. He's kind of shy.

[interro]

There's nothing wrong with letting him know you're not ready yet - it doesn't have to be a big deal, something like MCC said works well. The key is that you just have to communicate. There's a lot of ground to cover between kissing and sex, you can still have fun

[redredwine]

Jul 2, 2012 10:28:11 GMT -5 interro said:

There's nothing wrong with letting him know you're not ready yet - it doesn't have to be a big deal, something like MCC said works well. The key is that you just have to communicate. There's a lot of ground to cover between kissing and sex, you can still have fun

Totally this. I actually find it easier to have the conversation now that I'm older, because when I was younger, I was too self conscious so I'd just end up sleeping with them. Now, I just figure "if they can't respect that, then I'm out.". For the most part, it's been fine. I've had one or two guys that couldn't get the hint and keep trying and that was the last time we'd hung out. The guys that care will listen, respect you and make you feel comfortable and like it's no big deal.