Okay to feel this way?

[spk926]

SIL is due today with a baby girl. DD turns 1 tomorrow. I know whatever happens happens but I'm crossing my fingers and really hoping my newest niece isn't born tomorrow. I want everyone to have their OWN day and don't want DD to have to share her birthday; especially since it's already close to Christmas and all. So am I am horrible person for thinking that? I haven't said anything to SIL and obviously I know she has no control but it's something that's on my mind.

[djc315]

I don't think it's horrible to think it, but I definitely wouldn't say anything. I'm sure that's one of the last things she wants to hear since she has no control over it.

Fingers crossed that both girls have their own birthday!

[Velar Fricative]

Eh, either way their birthdays are going to be fairly close. Whether they share a birthday or not, you'll probably have to coordinate schedules for separate parties anyway. I think it would be cool for cousins to have the same birthday.

[cinco]

I think it is a normal thought, but agree with the above poster that you best not mention it to anyone that might repeat it. Happy birthday to your DD!

[satsuma]

Not horrible, but it will be fine if she is born tomorrow. I share my birthday with another relative and it's quite fun. Of course, there are a few more years between us and I can understand being more emotional since it's your daughter's first birthday.

[soozy87]

I understand where you are coming from, but you are right, there is not much you can do about it. Good luck!

[satsuma]

Jan 2, 2014 15:44:32 GMT -5 @ojo said:

I hope my kids aren't scarred for life.

Do you not celebrate by the minute 

[spk926]

Jan 2, 2014 15:44:32 GMT -5 @ojo said:

I hope my kids aren't scarred for life.

See I think why I feel this way is that I feel guilty for when DD's birthday is. DD was due January 31st. but I was induced at 36w exactly due to pre-e. There are 4 other birthdays in my family in these two weeks and then obviously Christmas thrown in there too.

Like I said in my original post what happens happens and I realize that. I would never say anything to SIL whether it does or doesn't happen. It's just something I'm thinking about today as tomorrow gets closer. That's all.

[cricketwife]

I always say we feel how we feel - we don't have much control over that, even though we can try to reign it in with logic. So it's fine to feel that way. But I definitely wouldn't say anything - nobody has any control in this situation. And I'm guessing that the emotions of your baby turning 1 are probably screwing your perspective. As time goes on, this really won't matter at all, no matter when the niece is born.

Happy bday to your dd!

[countthestars]

Well no one can tell you how to feel, but I think it's kind of silly. I wouldn't have minded sharing a birthday with my cousin.

[redheadbaker]

Jan 2, 2014 15:52:16 GMT -5 spk926 said:

Jan 2, 2014 15:44:32 GMT -5 @ojo said:

I hope my kids aren't scarred for life.

See I think why I feel this way is that I feel guilty for when DD's birthday is. DD was due January 31st. but I was induced at 36w exactly due to pre-e. There are 4 other birthdays in my family in these two weeks and then obviously Christmas thrown in there too.

Like I said in my original post what happens happens and I realize that. I would never say anything to SIL whether it does or doesn't happen. It's just something I'm thinking about today as tomorrow gets closer. That's all.

I was born in late March, in the middle of a week with six other family birthdays in it. It has never crossed my mind to be upset about it. I look forward to my annual "birthday buddy" message from my aunt, with whom I share a birthday.

[MadamePresident]

Its okay to feel a certain way. My husband and I purposely didn't have a child in March or April, because our family has so many birthdays during that time. I think having a cousin with a shared birthday might be fun as they get older they can do things together to celebrate.

@ojo You should have been like this lady and had your kids on two different days over two different years.

www.usatoday.com/videos/news/2014/01/01/4281895/

[ryry]

I think it's okay to feel that way, but I wouldn't say a word to anyone about it.

DD1 was induced, and I got to choose her birthday. She has a cousin whose birthday is Feb 17. I chose to have her on Feb 15 to avoid his birthday, because if I got to pick I wanted her to have her on day.

[ECB]

Jan 2, 2014 15:41:40 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Eh, either way their birthdays are going to be fairly close. Whether they share a birthday or not, you'll probably have to coordinate schedules for separate parties anyway. I think it would be cool for cousins to have the same birthday.

This is very, very true. 

And heck, do NOT say anything to SIL.  As you said, nothing she can do. 

I will admit- MIL's b-day is 12/6.  DS's due date was 12/10.  I SOOOOO did not want him to come early and on her b-day.  It would have ended up ALWAYS being about her - "OH, he was born on MY birthday!".  Luckily thta didn't happen. 

[Deleted]

You feel how you feel - how you express it is a different story. But I can also all but assure you that this will not be a big deal when they're older. E.g., As DD gets older I'm guessing we'll celebrate her Aug birthday in September when school is back.

[littlemisschatty]

I would be thinking the same thing as you LOL!!! Petty, but true.

In the end, it won't matter a whole lot either way.

[thebreakfastclub]

There are so many March birthdays in our family that my SIL hosts one giant March family birthday party that includes her H, my H (her brother) and two of her three kids.

I was actually happy that DS was born 2/18, so I could include him in that party and not have to do something separate.

[holly116]

I had my first on our only nephew's second birthday. I had ZERO control over it, obviously. I was due the week before and it didn't even occur to me that this could happen until I was in labor.

Please, please do not let anything get back to your SIL. The last thing a 40+ week pregnant woman cares about is your feelings regarding what day her body decides to have a baby.

The kids think it's pretty cool that they share a birthday now. We rotate the weekend for parties from year to year and it's NBD, I promise.

[ilikedonuts]

My brother and I share the same birthday and we are not twins. (He's 7 years older). Its really not terrible.

I will say though DD2 was due on DD1's birthday and I really hoped they didn't end up sharing a birthday. DD2 was born the day after. So I understand in a way what you are feeling.

[heythere]

Totally fine to feel that way, of course- you can't help how you feel. I agree with others, though, not to actually say it. I share a birthday with one of my cousins- we were due nearly a month apart but are only about 12 hours different- and I loved it growing up. She is my "twin cousin" which seemed really special.

My DD's birthday is one day different (well, plus 20 something years) than my brother's. I remember him saying when I was about 8 mths pregnant that he hoped they wouldn't have the same birthday which seemed eye-roll worthy, but it didn't make me angry.

No matter what, even if you end up having shared birthday parties for close or the same birthday, both can still feel special. My cousin and I had joint parties for years but always had our own cakes, people sang twice, etc. I never felt slighted.

[charlotteandwilbur]

My nephew was born on DS's first birthday and I love it! I am so excited for them to share that day together. I plan to drum up how special and fun it is to have a cousin birthday twin.

[shellbear09]

Well I was due a couple days after my nephew's first birthday. I'm sure my sil was glad I didn't have her on his bday, I know I was! I had her exactly a week later so while they are close, they aren't too close. We never said anything about it.

Yes its probably dumb but I hated that someone might try to put their bday celebrations together and that was just not happening lol. So yeah I understand and I hope she holds out a few more days

[curbsideprophet]

I would probably feel the same way. I think it is fine as long as you do not say anything.

[SallySparrow]

You can't help how you feel, just how you react to it, you know?

DD shares a birthday with one of her cousins. In this case, I was the one who had the birthday thief. But I wasn't thrilled about it. SIL has already suggested joint birthday parties and I have absolutely zero interest in ever doing that. Ever. And especially not for her first birthday.

If DD had just held out for another four hours she would have been born on my birthday and avoided the whole thing.